“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked again.
“It happened right before dinner, I didn’t have time to find you, and honestly I didn’t know what I was going to do until right before I did it. I’m sorry I did it the way I did for your sake. Perhaps it was a tad dramatic,” I said.
“I thought you were going to go all the way ballistic, but you kept it classy, I’d say. If I’d known ahead of time and not been so surprised, I might have actually kissed you back,” he said, smiling. He was still looking ahead at the ocean, not once turning his gaze to me, but I watched his facial expressions intently.
I laughed and said, “Well you sure pushed me away quick enough. I guess I’ll have to do a lot of practicing before my next prince charming comes around.” The idea of starting over again with somebody new was depressing— as if I had to climb a mountain that I’d already climbed before.
“Like I said, I was taken by surprise. And I’d just heard some news that didn’t really put me in the mood for a make-out session.”
“What do you suppose they’re thinking right now?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Well, I’d wager that they’re not thinking anything. I went into my room and your husband was sleeping on my bed, over the bedclothes, though. I guess they haven’t made nice since before Chicago, according to what you heard. Natalie was sleeping, too. I grabbed my things and took them to your room— if you don’t mind sharing with me for the rest of the trip.”
“You’re staying?” I asked. I didn’t answer his request.
“Why not? This place is gorgeous. If anyone wants to leave, they’re more than welcome to, but I’ve got my vacation to enjoy.”
Harvey fell asleep, and I continued reading my book as people started to lay out on the beach around us. I put on sunscreen and waded into the chilly water. I soon became accustomed to the temperature and went deeper in. I could see everything in the clearness of the water, down to the nail polish on my toenails. I faced away from the shore, letting the salt air flow through my lungs, embracing the scenery. After several minutes of watching the water flow around me and toward the cliffs, I turned to get back out. Harvey was no longer on the chair but standing on the shore, watching me.
“Let’s rent a jeep and tour the island,” he yelled.
“Yes!” I shouted back. I was ready for some adventure.
An hour later, we were in a topless Jeep. I was in the passenger seat trying to understand the map marked by a nice local at the tourist information center with the best beaches to stop at . I turned it up and around several times, and hoped I was finally getting it, except when I expected to see something to my left it was on my right.
“I might not be getting this right since we’re driving on the other side of the road,” I suggested.
“A map works the same either way. Let me worry about what side of the road we’re on, and you just look for Morgan’s Bay.” I found Morgan’s Bay on the map— that wasn’t the problem. I couldn’t relate the map to our geographical location.
“Ugh,” I groaned, “We’re never going to find it.” Suddenly, the hill we were climbing flattened out into a never-ending vista of hills and valleys and inlets. Sparkling aqua waters filtered into lush green bays with white sand beaches. I’d never seen a view so spectacular. Harvey looked over at me with a boyish grin, and I smiled back. I was glad we could find joy in a day that should have otherwise been miserable. It’s great to be in denial, I thought.
He pulled to the side of the road, and I took out my phone to take a picture, standing on the seat of the Jeep out over the roof.
“Stay right there,” he said, and crossed the road, taking a picture of me standing in the Jeep with the St. Thomas backdrop.
“I want that one,” I said when he climbed back in.
We drove downwards now, and soon we were parking in Morgan’s Bay. It was glorious. Exactly what I’d imagine a beach paradise to look like. We put our stuff down at the shore and went in. The mountains touched the water on both sides of me, creating the lagoon I was standing in. It was breathtaking. Harvey was floating by me, and I tried to float too, but I’m not the best swimmer. It was a peaceful few minutes until a family with a group of three kids came too close and interrupted my quiet time. They were throwing a ball around and soon it was headed in my direction, aimed straight at my face. An arm shot in front of me, and Harvey caught it, inches from my head. He threw it back to the family, the mom apologizing. I waived it off like it was no big deal, but mentally I was praising Harvey for saving my nose.
“Thanks,” I said.
“No problem. Let’s go over here where it’s safe,” he said and we waded to the shallow where we sat facing the lagoon.
“Do you think they’re at the beach together?” I asked.
“Audrey, if you’re going to torture yourself, leave me out of it,” he said. He looked over at me and must have seen me despondent because then he said, “No, I don’t think so. Greg will try everything he can to win your forgiveness, and so first he’ll try to cut off all association with Natalie. You’re a great catch, and he knows that losing you will be the worst thing that can ever happen to him.”
I started crying then— silent tears because I didn’t want to freak Harvey out. He put his arm around me, and I leaned into his side, comforted by any human touch. What I needed was my mother. If this was really the end of my marriage, which all signs were pointing to, then there was no reason to hide this from my mom any longer. When I got back home, I’d fly to her and my dad as soon as possible.
It angered me that I was crying while sitting in one of the most picturesque locations in the world. I sat up straight and wiped my face.
“No more crying,” I said. “I don’t want to waste all of this time mourning my dead marriage. It is dead, and I don’t know if I could be sadder than if Greg had died. He no longer exists as the sweet, thoughtful, and loving man I believed he was.”
“That’s harsh. But I get it,” Harvey said, letting out a sigh. “So let’s have a funeral for our marriages. Or like one of those divorce parties. I get them all the time at the restaurant. First time I heard about it I thought those middle-aged women were crazy, but now I kinda get it.”
“So we’re gonna go out, get drunk, and bash on men?”
“I was going to suggest we go to a strip club and get lap dances or something,” he said. I snapped my head to the side and narrowed my eyes.
