“Sure, bye.” I went to the window and saw that the sun was setting. The sliding door on the other side of the room opened to a spacious balcony, and I sat outside wishing Greg would hurry so we could watch the sunset together. It was a majestic sight as the sky painted itself in rich hues of pink and orange, then blues and purples as the sun dipped over the horizon. There was music down below from the pool. It stopped, and the silence was broken by some playful shouts by the pool, but also by a loud conversation happening right below my room. The speakers were out of sight, but my heart hammered in my chest as I recognized the familiar female and male voices.
“I have tried,” she said desperately. “I don’t think I can take it anymore. You look like you have forgotten all about me, about us, and it’s just impossible for me to see you two act as if you’re so happy. You weren’t happy with her all those times you came to me, were you? What’s changed now?”
“I told you all of this before Chicago,” the man said, much more quietly than the woman. I had to almost throw myself over the balcony to hear him, but I still could not see them. “I enjoyed our time together, but it had to stop. It’s not fair to Audrey. Or your husband. So, yes, I have forgotten about us because I have to, and you have to as well.”
“You know what’s not fair? This isn’t fair. I have to put up with this whole charade— the four of us having a grand time— me watching you giggle and play in the sand with yourwifewhile I can’t even stand to be in the same room with him. That’s not fair. I can’t take it anymore.” She was getting rather loud now.
“Please, be quiet,” he said.
“Whatever,” she said, much more quiet than before, “let’s just go to dinner and keep on pretending you never fucked me.” Angry heels drifted away, and I sat there on the balcony letting the silence overwhelm me. Shock is a mild word for what I was experiencing at the moment. It was like I was kicked in the stomach and then kicked again.
What do I do?I thought frantically. He will be here any minute and I either confront him or pretend I heard nothing. I’ve always been a mild-mannered person, non-confrontational. I don’t like to rock the boat, but I was having a very uncharacteristic emotion of absolute rage. This vacation was ruined, my marriage was ruined. What I wanted to do was dump the entire contents of Greg’s belongings over the balcony and then lock him out of the room. I was still sitting there on the balcony, though, letting all of these thoughts wash over me, when the door opened.
“I got the aloe,” Greg said. I stayed there, contemplating sitting through an entire dinner as if I hadn’t heard a thing. Walking inside, I saw he had applied it and was buttoning his shirt back up. He didn’t look as if he’d just been yelled at by his mistress, whom he was about to go have dinner with alongside his wife.
We went across the hall and knocked on Natalie and Harvey’s door and the four of us went downstairs together. I noticed that Natalie wasn’t hiding her feelings as well as Greg was.
“Natalie, are you OK?” I asked, putting my arm around her shoulder as we got out of the elevator. I wanted to rip the sleek, non-frizzy blonde hair off her scalp.
“Yes, just tired I guess,” she said. If she hadn’t been screwing my husband, I might have really cared.
“What you need is a delicious dinner and a good drink,” I said with the most joyful smile I knew how to fake.
We had reservations at the hotel restaurant, and they sat us at once. I mentally apologized to Harvey for what I was about to do, but he would understand soon. He wanted to know the truth. I had us sit so that I was across from Greg, but sitting next to Harvey. When the waiter came to take our drink order, I asked for a piña colada.
“Are you sure?” Greg asked.
“Yes, we have to celebrate. Besides, I have my medicine upstairs,” I said, eyes and smile wide. When the drinks came back right away, I dinged my fork on the glass.
“So I’d like to give a little toast,” I said, looking at each one intently. I had their full attention. Natalie looked miserable, and Greg looked so awfully charming it was quite disgusting. “I’d like to toast to 15 years of friendship and three years of marriage, all down the drain. To the both of you. Thank you for screwing my life and each other.” I raised my glass and put it back down.
I saw both of their eyes wide and mouths open in surprise as I turned to my left and grabbed Harvey’s face, kissing him with all the passion swirling in me from the anger, hurt, betrayal, and indignation. Harvey pushed me away, but I was not sorry, even though I said, “I’m sorry Harvey, it was always true. I heard them from my balcony not 10 minutes ago as they were arguing. They’ve been sleeping together.”
Greg finally woke up and bolted out of his chair. He knelt down next to me and looked at me with his eyes full of emotion. I was almost moved as I don’t think I had ever seen Greg cry, besides our wedding day, but there were no real tears there. “Audrey, this is a mistake. It was all a mistake, I’ve loved you since I met you, and we can move past this together… past this stupid mistake of mine. Please, sweetie, let’s go upstairs and talk.”
Harvey stood up and walked away. I looked at Natalie, who had tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked so distraught, and I had no pity for her.
“Audrey— ” she started to say, but her voice cracked, and she sobbed. “Audrey don’t hate me.” But I did hate her. And I didn’t care if I never saw her again. I told her so, and then I stood up and walked away. Greg rushed after me, grabbing my shoulders.
“Don’t touch me,” I hissed.
“Baby, please. Listen to me,” he begged as I kept marching towards the elevator.
“I don’t want to hear a word. Nothing you say will fix this. Nothing. It’s unfixable. You’ve broken us, Greg, and destroyed anything that was good about us. I will move on from you and find my way back to happiness. But you… you will always be unsatisfied with your own life, sabotaging whatever’s good that comes your way. Just like Natalie. You two can self-destruct together now and leave me out of it.”
“I deserve all of that and more. I will take any punishment you think I deserve. Audrey, please, let’s just talk.”
The elevator door opened, and I swooped inside, barring him from following me.
“If you think of coming in the room, I’ll scream. Now let me go,” I said, much sterner than I’d ever been with anyone.
I went to the room, walked inside, and had a nasty cry. The room was so empty… my life was so empty. I cried until I fell asleep with all my clothes and makeup on.
