I can’t do this. I can’t let go … I can’t?—
“Durvla?” Tiernan says into my mind. “Do you want me to stop?”
Do I?No,I think. I shake my head, but my body feels as tight as a bowstring in more ways than one.
“Durvla …”
“I don’t know,” I say aloud.
He immediately withdraws his hand, and a shudder rolls through me.Tears fill my eyes, the pleasure morphing intoembarrassment and confusion, cold seeping into warmth. Just as I felt on the brink, I’m left shockingly bereft, my body desperate for more while my mind berates me for allowing the indulgence. I squeeze my thighs together, the throbbing between them pitifully ebbing away, and I take a shuddery breath.
To my dismay, the tears flow hot and fast down my cheeks. I pull my legs to my chest and wrap my arms around them, dropping my face into my knees. Tiernan doesn’t waste a moment before pulling me to him, my face now buried against the downy hair on his chest. He fumbles for something then soft fabric covers my body.
How did my mind convince me to stop enjoying that moment? Why is it that, even when I’m shrouded in pleasure, the doubts drop in so forcefully? I ruinedthe moment. Epically.
“I’m sorry.” I swipe away tears.
“Don’t be. It’s alright.”
“I think …” My cheeks burn. “I guess I’m not as ready as I thought I was.” I shut my eyes and immediately feel his hands on my face. My eyes open tentatively to find him smiling with such affection that it’s hard to hold on to the shame and annoyance.
“You never have to apologize for something like this.” He kisses my nose. “We’ll take our time.”
“We’re leaving in two days.”
“And?” He winks at me. “We’ll find moments.” He slides his fingers through my hair, and I wince as they catch in my curls. He pries his hand free with a sheepish grin that makes me smile.
“Tiernan … do you think you would be able to deflect my shadows well enough if …” I’m not sure how to word it without my entire face turning red. “If I?—”
“If you lose control when we’re intimate?”
I grimace. “Yes, that.”
He smiles with understanding. “Yes, but also I don’t believe you’ll hurt me.”
I sigh, starting to climb out of bed, but he gently presses a hand against my shoulder to stop me.
“If it makes you feel better, it’s normal for your magic to slip and respond differently in times like this. I know mine does.Youknow mine does. My Empath powers don’t stand a chance when your body is against mine. It’s always too late when I realize I’ve cast all my feelings onto you.”
I don’t know whether to blush or laugh. “I should get dressed and get Taig,” I sign.
“Well …” A look of focus comes over his face—his magic likely reaching out to them. “They’re both fast asleep.”
Tiernan rolls onto his side facing me and I sidle up to him, tugging the covers up to our waists. For a while, we study each other’s faces in silence, his hands idly caressing my sides and hips. All the while, I wish things were different outside the Verge—I wish we had more moments to simply explore each other—not just physically.
I’m not ready to leave. Not at all. But we have a mission to fulfill, and the fate of the entire kingdom may depend on us finding out more about the prophecy.
Chapter 24
“Alright,I’m not a fan of repeating things, so listen up,” says Ava. She’s now every bit a commander as she stands at the head of the table in one of the small rooms of the Assembly Lodge. Aside from the round table large enough for ten and the map against the wall, there’s not much else to the room.
“There’s no exact protocol for this mission,” Ava continues. “Magic never follows protocol, after all. Siad Nahar is where we’ll get answers. We just need to figure out how to get there, and weneedDurvla to get there for this prophecy shit.”
A cool sensation rushes down my spine. No pressure. I shudder and my head throbs as I turn Ava’s words over in my mind. Tiernan places his hand on my knee, his fingers lightly caressing me in a way that stops the feeling of impending doom from spreading through my body.
“Her safety comes first. Is that understood?” Ava’s hand is on the hilt of the sword at her hip as her calculating gaze shifts to look at each person.
Around me, lips move, and heads swivel my way. Isobel steps forward. “It’s my honor to be entrusted with this mission, Warden Ava. I will do everything in my power to help deliverDurvla to Siad Nahar. It sounds very exciting!” She beams at me, her eyes sparkling with sincerity.
