“Everyone I care about dies. Or leaves. I don’t want to lose you too.”
“Carys, myrevna,minehkelsska,I’m right here. Life can be cruel. I know. But right now, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
More unattractive sobs come from me, and I bury my face in his chest. He strokes his hands over my back while I properly drench his chest with tears and snot. Yet he doesn’t recoil in disgust.
“Stay,” he says, still holding on to me as if he’s afraid thatI’llleave.
“Alright,” I concede through tears. “Alright, I’ll stay.”
He slowly unwraps his arms from me, then takes my hand to guide me to the too-small bed. Odgar climbs in, patting the spot beside him as he edges back against the wall. I climb in, curling onto my side so my back presses against his front. It’s a tight squeeze, but somehow comforting.
I’m certain it’ll take me ages to fall asleep, but as soon as his arms circle my waist, I slip off into a dreamless oblivion.
I wake up feeling overheated, something nearly pinning me to the bed. Panic spears through me before the familiar scent of pine and perspiration floods my nostrils.
Shit.
So last night was not a dream. Not only did I fuck Odgar, but I poured my heart out to him. Iremainedwith him. I expect the shame to set in as it often has—with Wynn, Eefa, Callum, and the others whose names I hardly remember. This time, however, there’s no shame. There’s only disappointment. Not because of the sex, but because I’d come to him for pleasure. For power. And in an ironic plot twist, it ended up feeling like so much more.
Odgar stirs, and his erection presses against my arse. My stomach clenches eagerly, my body immediately coming alive and begging for more, but I shift, putting some distance between our lower halves.
“Solni risgur,” he murmurs. Then, as if remembering himself, he repeats it in the Common Tongue. “Good morning.”
“Solni risgur,” I respond. I feel his smile against my shoulder. “I want to learn more of your language. Will you teach me?” I roll toward him, the bed creaking as I face him, and he smiles.
“I would love to.”
He leans close to kiss me, but I place my fingers lightly over his lips. “I have to go train with Valdis, and I doubt that kissing me is going to deflate your eager cock.”
He barks out a laugh that startles me before it warms my heart. His free expression of emotion is refreshing.
“May I ask you something?” I say.
“Of course.”
“Why do you call merevna?”
He grins. “Well,revnameans raven.” He reaches out and lifts my hair, catching a streak of gold instead. “Your hair has more golden bits than before, but it’s still raven black.”
I roll my eyes, thinking there had been some more enlightened reason behind the nickname. Especially since even the ends of my hair are starting to fade to a lustrous gold.
“But,” Odgar continues, and my brows rise. “Ravens represent divine justice, wisdom, magic and prophecy. Because Hofadr—the father of the gods—uses ravens as his messengers. They often bring visions and open our eyes. Like you opened mine.”
My brows furrow. “I …” The words slip away, and I clear my throat, averting my gaze. “You think far too highly of me.”
“Maybe you think far too little of yourself. I call you raven warrior and huntress because I want to remind you of the strength inside of you. And I’m not talking about your flamewielding. You’d be powerful even without it.”
My chest feels too heavy. “And …” I swallow around the sudden knot in my throat. “You called me something …Mineh…?”
Confusion crosses his face for a moment before recognition sinks in. “Mineh kelsska… My … beloved.” The hesitation is evident in his eyes, but his words feel pure, genuine.
I smile, tears brimming, and catch myself as I’m about to caress his beard, to slide my finger over the antler tattoo on his cheek. I need to get out of this space. I have no intention of crying again today. Or sleeping with Odgar again—not until I have my bearings about me and I can be sure I’m not using him only for pleasure or to feel powerful.
“I’ll … have to ask Briony about a fertility suppressant,” I say, grimacing as I sit up.
“I take a powder,” Odgar says with a smile. “You don’t have to worry about the suppressant.”
His words give me pause for a moment. Then I slip out of bed and adjust my nightgown. “I’d better get ready for the day.”
