I smile sheepishly at him, hardly able to meet his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t know what I’m doing, but you can?—”
“Durvla …” He chuckles, tucking back frizzy curls from my face. They bounce right back in front of my eyes. “I think your shadows like me.”
My lips part, a question on the tip of my tongue. But Tiernan’s eyes flick down then back up to me.
“Oh … oh gods.” I cover my face while Ifeelhis amusement tickle my skin. I lower my hands to find him staring at me with such adoration again. He sits up, tucking his own hair behind his ears. “Do you want to clean up before we head back to tell the others? About this cave, I mean.”
Right … I sigh as reality sets in again. We slip back into the pool to wash up, then get dressed as quickly as we can. When Ghendor is loaded up with our packs and we’re ready to mount up and head back to the river, Tiernan turns to me with urgency in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
He shakes his head, smiling softly. “I know I’ve given you a hard time on this journey, but if only you knew how much I wanted a moment like this with you. If I could stop time just to watch you come undone again, I would.”
The cave suddenly feels several degrees hotter.
“I love every part of you, Durvla. Your heart, your strength, the darkness that you control with the elegance of a goddess. I will never take you for granted. I’ll spend every waking moment trying to remind you of how much you mean to me. Because even though the world is falling apart, you are the one I want to fall with.”
My throat spasms, a knot cinching tighter as tears spill over from my eyes and trickle down my cheeks. My mind fixates on one word in particular. On the thing I never thought I’d be capable of feeling—not in this way. But now there’s no doubt in my mind about it, and there’s no part of me that wants to hide from this. I stare into his eyes and sign, “I love you too, Tiernan.”
Relief flows from him.
“But I’m afraid I cannot outdo that speech.”
He laughs and swipes away a tear of his own before wrapping me in a tight hug. He kisses the crown of my head then my cheeks and my lips. And when we’re out of tears and laughter, we mount Ghendor and head back to the group and back to the journey that could make or break the kingdom.
Chapter 43
The training groundbeneath the plateau where the castle sits is daunting, to say the least. Around me are the constant clangs of swords and occasional shouts of pain. It’s a mild, overcast day, but the cool breeze that blows through my hair every now and then is much appreciated. My eyes constantly wander, my attention being pulled toward the far west where the supposed Veil between worlds resides. Where the Veilguards train to defend Erleya against Otherworldly attack.
I see no evidence of such Veilguards.
There are, however, other Zenith trainees. Each of us has a silver pin on our chest to identify our power. Mine is a cross within a circle, the old symbol for earth. The symbol’s also affiliated with a few gods—knowledge that I don’t care to brush up on. I find myself in a small group with various Wielders. A willowy girl with three swirls on her chest denoting the water element, a white-haired young man with a lightning bolt on his chest, and a Flamewielder, a triquetra on his chest. Unsurprisingly, there are no other Terraforgers.
I’m an oddity even among other Wielders. I should be used to it; I was an oddity within my own family even apart from my powers. I wonder how many of the others have had similarexperiences. The other two trainees in our group are Grounders, and the willowy girl is from a noble family like mine.
My stomach flips as I try to imagine what life is like for my family back home. What has become of Arionna? Is she with Gruffud now that I am out of the frame? What about Mother? I try to force my focus back to the Zenith and Royal Brigade members nearby. I’ve never actually been trained to Wield by anyone. It was something I figured out all on my own.
All eyes are on me when I pull myself out of my wandering thoughts. Our trainer, a Zenith member clad in the typical midnight blue with black trimming on the uniform, stares into my soul. “Am I boring you, Pendry?” he asks.
Pendry. The name seems so unfitting, but so does fa Eurig. “No, sir,” I respond, my cheeks heating.
I rein in my focus and absorb all the training I can. My Wielding capabilities are surprisingly stronger than the others. Perhaps because I have used it in sneaky ways over the years. Still, the training session drags on for hours, with a quick break for repast. By the time we’re finally released to our rooms, the sun is beginning to sink.
My entire body aches, for once, not from the curse of my Cleanse but from actual physical exertion. It feels … not unpleasant. Itmakes sense. I find myself almost blissfully tired as I return to my room.
I start peeling off my disgusting training gear, leaving a trail on the floor as I rush toward the bathing chamber. But as I dip a cloth into the basin of too-cold water and scrub dirt from my face and arms, I’m struck with the sinking realization that this is my life now. Not as Gwyneth fa Eurig, the highborn noble. Not as Gwyneth Pendry, the wife of Gruffud. But as Gwyneth … the Zenith member?
Who am I?
I nearly lose my footing—as if someone has kicked me behind the knees—as the overwhelming desire to get away from Mainland and head northeast tugs at me. That damn tree resurfaces in my mind, and I mentally blot it out like throwing black paint over a finished portrait. I don’t have time for such dreams; I need to focus on training so I can gain Rheon’s trust. So I can hopefully find Father and somehow get Neris out of here.
Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I finish cleaning up. The water in the basin is a nauseating murky brown by the time I’m finished.
In silence, I get dressed and soon I’m rushing through the corridors, heading toward the infirmary.
As I push the door open, my eyes immediately fall on Neris. She’s sitting up in bed, slightly hunched over in a loose-fitting white nightgown. Her gaze snaps to me, and a smile lights up her significantly less bruised face. Vaughn glances up from Neris’s bedside, a bowl in hand, but before I can further assess the situation, I’m running toward Neris. I halt at her bedside, unsure of what to do with myself.
Vaughn places the bowl on the small table beside the bed. “I’ll let you two talk,” he says with a smile.
