“How many girls have you fucked?” I ask, taking a step inside.
“I’d tell you, but then you’d never let me fuck you.” He laughs, looking over at me.
“That comment alone makes me not want to fuck you.” I scoff back.
“Sure.” He smiles. “Sit. Make yourself at home.” He puts on a TV channel with music videos playing.
I eye the couch, then glance back at the door.
“I should probably go.”
“Okay.” His face drops into a small frown.
“You’re going to be okay, right?”
“I guess we will find out. Maybe I make the morning news. Rock star kills himself after throwing himself a pity party at a local bar and bothering a pretty girl to take him home.” He laughs. “Well, I’m sure it would be a few days before anyone bothered to check on me.” His voice dips.
Groaning, I shut the door and sink into the other side of the couch. I kick off my shoes, tucking my feet under my knees.
“You feel sorry for me now.” He grins.
“Always have.” I smirk back at him.
“I swear I wasn’t always this pathetic. I mean I think I’ve always been sad, but not like this.” His eyes drift toward the bookshelves for a moment. I can’t be sure what exactly he is looking at, but then he quickly looks back at the TV.
“Why are you like this now?”
“Everything I love is slipping from my hands. The people I thought would always be there for me are abandoning me. They have become someone to someone else. Someone who isn’t a piece of shit like me. I will have nothing and no one soon.”
“Have you ever thought about doing the same? Finding someone to settle down with?”
“Never. Love is a soul sucking disease.”
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“Tell me about it.”
“About what?”
“Your ex. What did he do? When? Did he do it before?”
“I rather not talk about it.”
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“Oh yeah. I’m sure you’ve been abused so many times.” I cross my hands over my chest, rolling my eyes. Part of me wants to march out of his stupid condo and go home, but I find myself unable to move. His misery is comforting.
“Maybe not the same way, but I have been abused too.” His eyes sweep over to me. Dark blue waves of agony stare back at me. “And I’m not talking some silly girl stomping on my heart. I’m talking about real, illegal kind of abuse.”
“By who?”
“Nah uh.” He wags his finger at me. “You don’t get that information without agreeing to the terms.”
“Fine.” I shrug. “I rather not know about your tragic past anyways.”
It’s only partly untrue. I’d be curious to hear about whatever abuse he went through, but it’s probably best I don’t know. The less I know about Ben the better. I don’t want to be his friend. I barely want to be around him at all. I’d take the great sex he is rumored to give, but I don’t need anything more from him.
“No? Afraid you might think differently of me if you knew?”
