Hands kneading at his loose, ruined shirt, Maeve shuddered in his lap. “I don’t want to choose,” she wept. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Maeve.”
She shook her head, denying his words. “Everyone comes to dislike me eventually. Everyone leaves me eventually. So I leave them first.” She sucked in a long, panicked breath, and Soren bit his tongue, knowing she had to get it all out. “I don’t want you to be unhappy with me,” she admitted in a little voice. “I don’t want to make you unhappy or regret having me as your fated mate. I wish you’d found someonenicer.”
“No,” he growled, tangling his claws in her hair so she couldn’t turn away from him when he insisted, “I would have no one else. I want no one else, Maeve. You’re exactly what I need, exactly as you are.”
To his horror, more hot tears overspilled her lashes. “That can’t be true. I don’t think I can have just a little life here. I can’t give up my chance todosomething. I’d make us both miserable if I stayed.” She looked up at him, her eyes beseeching, and Soren’s heart ached for her. “I don’t want to hurt you, Soren.”
Bumping her nose with his, he nuzzled her gently, tasting the salt of her tears and sweat on her cheek. “You speak of all you don’t want. What thendoyou want, Maeve?” Whatever it was,he’d strive to grant it, but he had to know it first.
Her exhale was wobbly, but she took a moment to consider. “To be happy. To do something worthwhile.” Her face scrunched with another sob as she said, “To matter.”
“Oh,urisá,” he rumbled, pulling her tightly to his chest to cradle her against him. He wrapped himself around her, shielding her from the sun and dust, wishing he could banish all the sadness she carried.
“You matter, Maeve. You’re what matters most to me.”
“But Kiri, your brothers—”
“I love them dearly, yes. But they know whatkigarameans to a mantii. We came here searching for just such a treasure, and none of us would begrudge another for finding it.” Telling it to Maeve, he himself began to believe it, too. They’d tried to tell him, for a long time now, but he wasn’t ready to hear or believe it.
Youneverlisten to me,theturukcomplained.
Now, though, he had to—for the both of them. At least until Maeve believed it herself.
“I always wish to keep a strong bond with my brothers, but it’s not uncommon for mantii males to leave their prides in search of new ones.” Smoothing his hand over her hair, he told her, “I’d be honored to form a new pride with you, Maeve. You possess the spirit of anerez, fierce and ambitious. I’d follow you wherever you choose to go.”
Even as he said the words, he knew them to be true. It’d be false to say he wasn’t scared or worried about it. Even within the pride, he’d always had at least Balar. To strike out, just him and Maeve, would be a challenge—but if it meant her happiness, he’d do it.
“You can’t mean it,” she sobbed.
“I do. I would never stand in your way. But, if you allow it, I would stand beside you.”
He didn’t know if she was shaking her head or rubbing her cheek on his chest or both. What mattered to Soren was Maeve and her touch and her honesty.
“I don’t even have a plan, really. I don’t know what I want to do.”
“That’s all right,kam-kala. You’re young yet—there’s so much for you still to see and discover. I just wish to be by your side to do it.”
“I may never want children of my own, and if I do, it won’t be for a long while yet.”
That was a surprise, given how much she enjoyed her work as a teacher. Soren also couldn’t help feeling that she was looking for a weakness, a flaw in his argument—not to defeat him but to reassure herself. He’d give her that, give her anything she needed.
“I respect that. If given the chance, I think I’d like to be a father, but only if and when you’re ready to be a mother. If that day never comes, I will still be content, for I have the cleverest, boldest, most beautifulkigarain the whole world.”
We’ll make sure everyone knows it, too,purred the beast.
Dropping her face into her hands, Maeve groaned. “I’ll perish from how sweet you are, Soren.”
“Absolutely not,” he pouted. “You’re to accept it as your due.”
To his relief, that earned him a small, short giggle. The sound set his heart alight, and something told him that the worst of the danger had passed. Perhaps it was the more relaxed angle of her shoulders or the way she leaned into him. Perhaps it was how she petted his chest rather than kneading it or the steadier rhythm of her heartbeat.
She’s accepted us, histurukdecided.
Don’t be cocky.
The beast just laughed and purred harder.
