Still, it seemed that although Maeve had been away for years now, she’d stepped back into the shoes she’d once worn. At least in the eyes of those she’d left behind. Sorcha and Connor still called her a brat. Her father was still waiting for her to accomplish something. Neomi thought she had eyes for Collinstill. Her old friends kept their husbands away for fear she’d steal them, too.
I’m not like that,she wanted to declare.At least…I don’t think I am.
Why was it so many seemed to believe the worst of her?
Was that what Soren believed of her, too? She didn’t like the thought of that. Not at all.
Let the rakes and the boors and the braggarts think little of her, that was just fine. But gentle, kind Mister Soren?
Perhaps he really did judge others by what he saw of them, not what he heard. Yet, that just made him witnessing what happened with Collin and Neomi all the worse.
“He’s the noble sort,” Maeve agreed. “But I still…don’t know what to make of him.”
“Well, you need to get him talking.”
“It’s more than that. I just…” She set her glass down and waved her hand vaguely, trying to find the right words. “He claims he felt the mate-pull for me—the feather is proof. But from what I understand of others who have become an otherly’s mate, that pull is nigh irresistible.”
“You think he’s lying?”
“No, he’s not the sort. It’s that—well, you hear stories about what a fae or manticore or dragon will do when they find their mate. Yet, Soren’s been able to control his instinct. We’re around each other all day, and he’s perfectly polite.”
“Would you prefer he throw you over his shoulder and make off with you?” Sofie teased gently.
Maeve flushed again, but this time, a little flicker of heat pooled in her lower belly. She wasn’t…entirely opposed to the idea. Or at least, the fantasy it made in her mind’s eye.
“It’s just that, you hear about big declarations and instant devotion and…” Maeve shrugged, unable to keep Sofie’s gaze. “But Soren’s always been controlled. Apologetic, even. Hedoesn’t want a mate, and he can keep himself back. It just makes me feel…inadequate.” That last word was whispered as Maeve picked at her own nail.He ran away from me,cried a sad little voice deep down.
Fates, she hadn’t really meant to say all that aloud. She’d hardly admitted it to herself in the safety of her bed, surrounded by darkness and blankets.
Why was it that out of everyone who’d become the mate of an otherly,shewas the one who could be resisted? Was Soren just that determined, or was there something aboutherthat drove him away?
Does he really not want a mate, or does he just not wantme?
Her head and heart hurt thinking about it over and over again, analyzing every little thing he did. She didn’t like it, had striven never to be the person who agonized over something or someone like this. It wasexhaustingand got her nowhere. She tried never to kick herself while she was already down.
Lately, the whole situation felt as though it was getting out of her control. She didn’t know what he thought or felt—sometimes, she didn’t know what she herself thought or felt, either. Everything was getting away from her—her ambitions, her plans, and now her feelings about Soren.
“So, you don’t want to be a fated partner, but you do want the experience of it, correct?” Sofie didn’t require a response, answering her own question with an arched brow. “No wonder you’re all out of sorts, chickadee. That’s quite the conundrum you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“You’re not helping,” Maeve grumbled.
“Fine, fine, I’ll help, but you won’t like it, either.” Leaning forward, Sofie folded her arms on the table and regarded Maeve seriously. “You can’t have it both ways, my love. Either be grateful he doesn’t act on his instinct, leaving you both the chance for a clean break when the time comes—or take a chanceon him.”
The lemonade in Maeve’s stomach turned sour. “I’ve never been with someone…good, like Soren. I don’t know how.”
“He’s never been with anyone at all from what you tell me. You could learn together.”
“It just…” All she could do was shrug. “It won’t work. We’re so different. I want to leave, he wants to stay.”
“And where are you headed off to so quickly? You haven’t told me about any prospects.”
Maeve winced. “Therewillbe something, eventually.”
“How do you know he wouldn’t come with you?”
“He wouldn’t want to leave his brothers.” Especially not Kiri. She didn’t need to remember that she herself had ideas of bringing Kiri with her.
“I’m hearing a lot of excuses, and a lot of assumptions. But not that you don’t want him.”
