We eat them in the living room, neither of us speaking.
I’m trying to understand what I can do to fix this. After sleeping with her last night, making love to her in my bed, I thought things between us would only get better. It was the most amazing night I’ve ever had. She was too beautiful for words, and the connection I felt between us was more intense than anything I’d ever had before.
But this conversation has clearly put a strain on our relationship.
After dinner, I look up at her and ask, “Are you ok? Did you still want to talk about things?”
She tilts her head to the side and bites at her lip. “Actually. I think I just need a little time to process stuff. It’s a lot to take in. My dad calling. What he told me. And he didn’t lie this time. Um. I just need some time alone to process, I think.”
I clench my jaw and take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to…”
“I’m not going to try and escape, I promise,” she says quickly. “Just some time. That’s all.”
Sighing again, I nod. “I understand. And you must take all the time you need. I’ll be here if you want to talk to me. Anytime.”
Athena stands up, still biting nervously at her lip. “Thank you for dinner. I’m going to head up to my room and get ready for bed.”
It’s still pretty early. I know she isn’t going to sleep now, but I have to respect whatever she needs.
I smile. “See you tomorrow,” I say kindly.
She smiles too, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I watch her walk away, and my heart is heavy in my chest.
I really hope I haven’t fucked this up. I really hope she finds a way to come back to me.
My eyes drift toward the fire. I watch as the flames devour the wood. Eating away at the bark, licking with bright red tongues that destroy everything they touch.
Maybe I’m the flame.
Maybe I destroy everything, too.
But all I want to do is protect her from her father. I want to keep her safe from him, away from the harm he can cause her and has caused her in the past.
Suddenly, the idea hits me. It’s like a punch in the gut.
I am purposefully keeping Athena and her father apart. I am controlling their relationship with the goal of protecting her.
Am I doing exactly the same thing now that I was doing to Athena?
Am I repeating the same mistakes?
Chapter 16 - Athena
Lying on my bed, I browse online stores to kill time and try my best to distract myself. I’ve never been rich before. I’ve never had access to a crazy amount of money. I didn’t intend to spend his money, but he messaged me this morning with a link to some really beautiful sneakers. With a message that saidI think you need these. They look like they’d suit you. I love the pink, but look at the other colors too. Maybe you also want to order them in white or blue? Maybe also browse around for some boots and another winter jacket?
It reminded me that he had loaded the card details onto my phone and told me to get whatever I wanted.
Clicking on the link to the shoes made me smile. They are so me. I never got to be fashion-forward because all the fashion-forward things I wanted in the past were way past anything I could ever afford.
I add the pink sneakers to my cart. Then decide that the white ones are cute too. On the same site, I find a pair of leather boots that remind me of an old secondhand pair of Dr. Martens I used to have, but way cooler, with buckles and studs. Imagine wearing those with a cute pink dress that has soft tulle layers.
I add those to the cart too.
For an hour or two, I browse shops and buy a ton of things I hardly need.
It’s fun, to a certain degree. It’s freedom I never had before, and it’s exciting not to have to think about the price of things. But it also isn’t distracting me enough to get me to stop thinking about the things that have been looping in my mind since I spoke to my father… and then to Adrian.
