My thoughts wander, and then something changes.
When I open my eyes, I reach back blindly until my fingers find the phone. He answers on the second ring.
“I’ve been awake since seven, Colin. Please don’t tell me you’re calling with another existential crisis,” Oliver says, annoyed but with a hint of concern.
“I’m going to need that number,” I croak, my voice worn down to the bone.
The line goes completely dead for a second before he lets out a long exhale. “Thank God,” he mutters. “It’s about damn time.”
Ethan
I keep staring at the pool. At the same lounge chair where I kissed Dalila for the last time... here, at home.
‘You’re a liar and a cheater… just like your father. It’s over, Ethan. I won’t let you make a fool of me.’
I press my forehead to the cold kitchen window glass, pulling in shallow breaths.
For weeks, her jealousy had been spiraling. I tried to reassure her, to the point of staying home just to video call her while everyone else went out. I wanted her to feel safe. Wanted her to know she was the only one.
I never imagined it would end like this. That she would truly believe I could do that to her. What we have is real. Not just because we were each other’s first.
It happened before I moved to Ithaca. Before everything went downhill. It was just the two of us at her place. I hesitated, not only because it was my first time too, but because I didn’t want her to regret it afterward. I wanted it to be good for her.
Dalila looked straight into my eyes and said,‘There’s no one else I’d want my first time to be with. Only you, Ethan. Only you.’
It was awkward at first, but it didn’t take long before we learned what felt good for each other.
I flew in last week to see her and Alicia. Dalila came home with me that last night, and it was by the pool that we said I love you for the first time.
Grabbing my phone, I see it’s 8:20 a.m. She’s probably still asleep. I’ll wait a bit before heading to her place.
This can’t be how it ends. My father’s sins aren’t mine to pay for.
Dad.
Saying what I said yesterday was painful, and hearing him was even worse. But nothing hurt more than the way he took care of me at my weakest, treating me like I mattered to him. Like he loved me.
I have no idea how to process everything that happened. But after we talked, it feels like this huge weight just dropped off my shoulders.
Even so, I couldn’t stay and face him sober. One honest conversation doesn’t fix everything. We can’t just go back to playing happy family.
I think I might forgive him someday. But forgetting? That’s something else entirely.
The phone buzzes in my hand, and I look down hoping for Dalila. It’s Mom. My stomach drops, but I force a smile and answer the video call “You’re off schedule today, Mom,” I say lightly.
She studies my face before speaking. “Did something happen, honey?”
I don’t answer at first, so she continues. “I’ve been wanting to call you since I woke up. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Mom. You don’t need to worry.”
Her expression changes, shifting into protective mode.
“Ethan... something in your voice is telling me you’re not.”
I’m trying to find an answer when she frowns. “Wait. Are you in our kitchen? Did something happen with Alicia?”
“Mom,” I cut in. “I swear, everything’s okay.”
