I can’t even believe the things I said to her. Nothing I said was based on the truth. I know she would never cheat on me. If there’s anyone who destroyed the trust in our family, it’s me.
But that day... I went blind.
Blinded by anger, by jealousy, and that sinking humiliation of feeling powerless. Because that’s the real truth, isn’t it?
There’s not a damn thing I can do if Ceci decides to start something with that smug Italian prick.
I knew the second I first saw the way he looked at her almost a year ago. It was written all over his face: he wanted my wife. And the way she looked back at him the other day... standing there on the sidewalk, letting him touch her face.
The memory alone turns my stomach. Those images have been eating through my head for weeks. To the point where I’ve started having nightmares, seeing the two of them everywhere Igo, like my own mind is trying to sabotage whatever sanity I have left.
But then this week... Alicia told me she wanted to start sleeping here with me. I was so damn happy that when she asked me to go with her to buy things for her room, I walked around with a grin on my face the entire time.
And nothing beat her reaction when she saw the finished room for the first time yesterday. With Ceci standing beside her.
We had a really good start to the evening. I took her to a Thai restaurant she loves just a few blocks away, and when we got back, Alicia wanted to watch the new episodes of a k-drama that dropped last week.
I hid my exasperation as best I could and sat beside her for the entire episode. Endless minutes that must’ve set some new world record for slow-motion scenes, and in this one, they finally touched fingertips.
Minutes ago, Alicia said she was going to call her mom, and everything was fine. Until she says those words.
“Oh, you’re at a party,” Alicia says, surprised. “Are you having fun, Mom?”
I literally stop breathing. I just freeze, staring at her until she finishes the call.
Alicia sets her phone aside and grabs the remote, hitting play on the k-drama as if nothing happened. She’d been worried about her mom being alone, and now she knows her mom is fine. She is at some party, having fun.
Meanwhile, I’m fighting for air. Trying to force one coherent thought through the stampede in my head.
Ceci is with him. Wherever she is... she’s with him. I know it.
I wipe my palms on my jeans, clear my throat, and force my voice to sound neutral. “Is everything okay with your mom, Alicia?”
“Hm?” she says, distracted.
“Is everything okay with your mom?” I repeat, my heart beating too hard.
She takes a moment to answer, never looking away from the TV. “Yeah. She’s fine.”
And she doesn’t say anything else.
Hating myself for what I’m about to do, I do it anyway. “I heard you say she was at a party?”
Again, she doesn’t answer right away, and I notice my left foot bouncing restlessly on its own. I slap my hand over my knee, pinning it down.
“Oh, she said it wasn’t a party. Her friend’s sister had some people over to show her paintings. She’s a painter, I think.”
I don’t waste a single second.
“What friend, sweetheart?”
“Alexander,” she answers absently, eyes still glued to the screen. “That one we ran into near the ice cream shop.”
Alicia turns right back to her show, and this time I let her.
No more questions. I don’t bother pretending I’m okay while a cold dread spreads through every inch of my body.
The sound of the TV becomes white noise as my heartbeat fills my ears, pounding out a thousand scenarios I don’t want to imagine.
