But I didn’t let the moment drag on. I said, “I just didn’t understand why everyone keeps slapping each other for no reason.”
She smiled and spent the next twenty minutes explaining the plot to me as if I were the dumbest man alive. But she soon went back to staring out the window until I dropped her off at school.
And to think there was a time when Alicia had so much to tell me, so much to share, that I could barely keep up with her excitement most days. Back then, I used to feel overwhelmed. Now I’d give anything just to hear her ramble about something she loves.
My birthday was two weeks ago. April 30th. Forty-four years old, and nothing to celebrate.
Oliver was the first to wish me a happy birthday and offered to grab a drink that evening, but I refused. I preferred to be alone.
Harper called. Jonathan sent a text. My parents had a bottle of Rémy Martin Louis XIII Black Pearl delivered, along with a card that was probably written by the butler.
I handed it to one of the women who manages the upkeep of the penthouse.
And Alicia... That day, after I dropped her off from ballet in the late afternoon, she hesitated before getting out of the car and said,
“Mom mentioned this morning that it’s your birthday.”
“Yes, it is,” I said, my voice thick with emotion.
Without looking at me, she whispered, “Happy birthday,” and stepped out of the car, without once meeting my eyes.
And that was it. The only gift I got from my daughter was a sentence she couldn’t even bear to look at me for.
Alicia used to have a surprise for me every single year and never forgot my birthday. But if mentioning Ceci was the way she found to bring it up... then that was her bridge. And I was grateful for it. Grateful that Ceci remembered and grateful that Alicia mentioned it at all.
The passenger door opens, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Alicia climbs in and grumbles a barely audible “Hi,” without looking at me.
“Hi, honey,” I say, my voice gentle. “Did you have a good day at school?”
She gives me a rather uninterested answer and puts on her favorite playlist to play in the car. The rest of the ride passes wordlessly.
When I pull up in front of Ceci’s house, I place my hand on Alicia’s shoulder before she can get out.
“Have you thought about what you want for your birthday?”
Alicia looks at me, then down at her hand resting on the car door handle.
“I haven’t figured out what I want for my birthday... but one of the girls at school was saying it’d be cool if, instead of getting something for me, I gave something to places that need it more.”
She stares through the windshield.
“I’m gonna look into it later and see what I find.”
“Yes, yes—of course,” I reply, far too eagerly.
She says goodbye, opens the door, and steps out. But before she closes it, she leans back inside and says:
“If you’re really gonna keep doing this beard thing, you should at least go to a barber. A little more and you’re gonna look like that guy from the movie Mom likes. The one who gets stuck on an island.”
She laughs at her own joke, shuts the door, and runs toward the front entrance.
She laughed.Alicia laughed with me. Well… she laughedatme, but who cares.
Smiling to myself, I tilt the rearview mirror and run a hand over my beard. It’s definitely nowhere near the one Tom Hanks had in that movie... But she’s right. I need to do something about it. Later, though. There’s something more important I need to do first.
I grab my phone and set a reminder to research shelters. Tomorrow I’ll have something new to talk about with Alicia—something that isn’t that terrible show—and I can donate to every place she wants and even a few more. Anything, really, if it means giving her one more reason to look at me… or to smile.
