“I’m working on the final touches of my article, and I really liked your take on that last section I sent you. Would you mind going through a few parts with me?”
“Not in the least. Do you mind reading it to me?”
She says she doesn’t, and then her voice—tender, thoughtful, in a tone that’s all hers and makes each word sound better—begins to read the section she wants to show me.
Grinning like a fool, I lean back on my Audi Q8, eyes fixed on the moon.
One day, we’ll be doing this with her lying on my chest, reading everything she poured into every line she wrote. One day, cara mia. No matter how long you need.
Chapter 04
May
‘friend’ label
Colin
If I thought losing Ceci, my kids, and having my reputation dragged through the mud was some sort of hell carved on earth specifically for me... it’s only because I had no idea that all of that—combined with the fact that I no longer have the company to hide behind and bury myself in work—is turning out to be the real version of hell.
I haven’t set foot in Montgomery Clifford since the whole debacle, also known as the day I “resigned.” Jonathan has been representing me as the major shareholder in every relevant decision. I simply can’t bring myself to walk in as a mere spectator after running the entire show for all those years.
I park in front of Alicia’s school and wait for her to come out.
This has become my only real occupation these past few months. I pick her up and drop her off at school Monday through Friday.
Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are for ballet, and twice a month, on Saturdays, she chooses a place for us to go together,and she always brings a friend, as if the idea of being alone with me is too much.
Ethan doesn’t come with her anymore either.
Alicia hasn’t wanted to spend a single weekend with me, and I could understand it when I was staying in a suite at The Ritz-Carlton. But it’s been almost a month since I moved into the penthouse. And nothing has changed.
I’m giving them all the time they need, and I’m trying to be present in every way I can. But it’s hard. Unbearably hard.
I’ve only seen Ethan in passing these last few months. He even blocked me on social media.
I learned he’d been accepted into every college he applied to because Ceci sent me a text telling me and attached a picture of the three letters lined up side by side. Yale wasn’t one of them, but I expected that. He wouldn’t choose anything that ties him back to me.
Alicia always keeps her guard up around me, but at least I’ve managed to get her to talk a little more.
Which means I’ve spent hours listening to her new favorite songs and researching random facts about the band members just so we’d have a topic she wouldn’t shut down right away.
Rock bottom hit this past week, when I sat through the entire first season of a Korean show—or a K-drama, as Alicia and her friends call it—because she and her friend Khara wouldn’t stop talking about it while I took them out for pizza on Saturday.
And the moment I got home, I pulled up whichever streaming service had it and finished the season in two days.
It was, by far, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life. People blushing just from making eye contact, every minor misunderstanding snowballing in seconds, characters throwing punches and slaps for no reason at all. And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous drawn-out effects every time the female lead sees the male lead walking toward her.
If someone had told me months ago that I’d ever watch something like that... I would’ve sued the poor bastard for defamation.
Now I’m the poor bastard.
I’ll never forget Alicia’s reaction when I told her I watched the show.
“You? You watched it?” she said in the most incredulous tone possible.
When I shared my first impressions, she kept staring at me.
“I can’t believe you actually watched it, Da—” She cut herself off before saying Dad, her smile fading, and my stomach sank.
