“I hate to interrupt, sweetheart, but we really need to get goin’ before we get caught in mornin’ traffic,” she says. Her eyebrows are pinched together, her lips are swollen and red where she’s bitten them, and she’s trying—but failing—to not wring her hands. I’ve never seen her this worked up, not even during the hearing when she tried to get custody of me. I feel a pinch of guilt for causing her so much distress, but before it can become too overwhelming, I hear Teddy and Dr. K in my head reminding me that I am not the one to blame.
Mom’s forehead drops to my chest after I take a step forward and wrap my arms around her slim shoulders. A shudderingbreath escapes her. “I wish I could do this for you. I wish I could tear that man limb from limb. I just… I wish the world had been kinder to you.” When she pulls back, I can see the tears swimming in her eyes. Her hands tremble as she reaches up to cradle my face, but they’re as strong and grounding as always. “Let’s go take that bastard down. Then we’ll come home, and I’ll make sure the world is never cruel to you again.” We both know that’s a promise she can’t make, but the sentiment behind it has tears welling in my own eyes. I bend forward and allow her to place a wet kiss on my forehead.
She steps back and turns towards the SUV. Her son immediately replaces the warmth she takes with her by plastering himself against my back. “Ready?” he asks.
“Ready,” I say, and this time, I actually mean it.
When we pull into the gas station, Teddy is first out of the SUV. Gentleman that he is, he heads straight to the pump. Max is quick to follow. She’s been complaining about needing a bathroom for at least thirty minutes now.
“I’m gonna stretch my legs for a little bit. Long car rides are a little harder on me these days,” Mom says from the front passenger seat.
Lane and I sit there for maybe an entire minute before boredom overtakes me. Turning to face him, I ask, “Snack run?”
“Oh, fuck yeah.”
We scramble out of the vehicle, pushing and shoving the entire way, bickering about which snacks are the best. When we burst through the door, the poor girl manning the counter startles. “Sorry!” Lane and I say at the same time.
We circle the store twice, making sure we go down every aisle. Our arms are buried under our snacks by the time we reach our final stop in front of the coolers.
Chocolate.
Chips.
Sour candy.
Fruity candy.
A variety of snack cakes.
Three different types of gum.
A pickle.
You name it.
We got it.
“Energy drink? Lane asks.
“Trust me, absolutely nobody wants to be trapped in a car with a highly caffeinated me for several hours.”
“Fair.”
We end up going for juice instead. Cran-Grape for Lane, and pineapple orange for me, which I think says a lot about who we are as people. I make sure to grab the biggest water I can find for Teddy, who doesn’t like overly sweet drinks, before heading towards the front to check out. When we deposit our small hoardonto the counter, the cashier’s eyes practically fall out of her head.
“Road trips,” I say with a shrug. As far as explanations go, that one feels pretty solid to me.
Once we pay for everything, Lane and I take our bags and head out to the car. When the other three notice us approaching loaded down with half the store, their expressions land somewhere between shock and amusement.
“Who left the children unsupervised?” Max stage-whispers.
I flip her off, but Lane decides to go for the knockout. “Just for that, I’m not sharing my chocolate with you. And I got the king size Reese’s!” Never one to miss a dramatic exit, he stalks away to the other side of the car.
Max follows hastily. “No, wait! You know I didn’t—”
Teddy is chuckling when he steps up beside me. I hand over the water and beef jerky I picked out for him, not missing the longing glance he sends the bag holding all the good snacks. I hate that he feels like he has to deny himself.Well, fuck that.I hand him a package of powdered donuts, but I don’t let go when he starts to take it. His eyes jump to mine.
“You. Are. Perfect. Just the way you are.” I make sure to hold eye contact. I want him to see the truth written in mine. It must work because I’m graced with the sight of my favorite soft smile.
