Lane eyes me hatefully. “What, you planning to suck my dick or something?”
I recoil violently, pulling my knees to my chest.
“Shit.,” Lane’s eyes grow wide enough to see the whites. “My bad, dude. I was just joking.” He reaches out to touch my knee, and I pull even farther away. I’m now huddled in the corner of the couch, rocking back and forth. “Fuck,” Lane growls out, gripping his hair in both hands and tugging. “I’m so sorry. That was a fucked-up thing to say.”
I want to tell him it’s okay, that he couldn’t have known, but I can’t catch my breath. Lane stands, but my vision is too blurry to tell where he went. Time stretches until two figures appear in my periphery. “—what happened. I said something stupid, and he’s been like this since.”
“Cooper. Can you hear me?” The voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. There’s movement in front of me, and I flinch. “I’m not going to touch you, Cooper. It’s Dr. Krazinski. Can you tell me five things you can see?” I shake my head. “You can do this, Cooper. Let’s start simple. What’s in my hand?”
I fight to focus my vision. “P-Pen,” I gasp out.
“Good job, Cooper. That’s one. Let’s keep going.”
As Dr. Krazinski coaches me through the grounding technique, my vision begins to clear, and my breathing returns to normal. “Last one, Cooper. You’re doing great. What’s one thing you can taste?”
“Salt,” I say, wiping the tears from my face. As I look around, I notice the dayroom has been emptied. “Sorry for causing a scene, Doc.”
“There’s absolutely no need to apologize. You were triggered, and you had an involuntary response. That’s one of the things you’re here to work on.”
“Thanks for coming to my rescue.”
“Thank you for trusting me to coach you through it. Why don’t you go rest for a little while?”
Suddenly, I feel like I could sleep for a thousand years. “That sounds like a good idea,” I say as I stand and turn towards the hallway that the patient rooms are on.
The smell of food drags me from my room a few hours later. Outside my door, I come to a halt. Lane is leaning against the wall, picking at his nails. He straightens up when he sees me.
“Look, I just wanted to apologize for being such a douche earlier. Saying shit like that, especially in here…not cool. Sometimes, my stupid mouth just gets ahead of my brain.”
Despite his gruff exterior, I can tell his remorse is genuine. “You’re good. It’s not like you could have known I’d have a complete freak-out over it. Wanna just call it water under the bridge and head to dinner?” I ask.Olive branches or what the fuck ever.
Lane eyes me for a minute before nodding. “Yeah, man. Let’s go.”
We walk in silence, neither of us sure how to bridge the gap. Finally, I decide on “So, you must have been here a time or two for Betty to be so attached.”Ah, yes. I’ll take ‘Awkward As Fuck’ for $500, Alex.My eyes slide shut as if I could avoid my ownstupidity by simply not looking, but a snort from Lane has me blinking them back open.
“Yea, you could say that. This is my sixth stint here. Rehab is up next. I don’t know why I even bother. It never fucking sticks.”
“Don’t feel bad. This is my fourth time in a facility like this.”
“You must be really bad at the whole killing yourself thing.” The words have barely left his lips before his eyes grow round and his face goes beet red. “Shit. I’m sorry,” he rushes out. “I swear I’m not an asshole. Well, I mean, I am, but notthatkind of asshole. Once again, my mouth got ahead of my brain. Sometimes my inside thoughts just spill right out.”
This time, I’m the one snorting. “It’s fine. I honestly had the same thought when they brought me in. I know it’s cliché, but this time feels different. Dr. K seems safe to talk to. For the first time, I’ve actually made some progress, and I’m excited to keep moving forward.”
“I know what you mean. He’s new here, but he definitely makes an impact. Hey, maybe we can both get it right this time.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Okay. Enough heavy shit. What’s your favorite movie genre?”
“That’s easy. Horror.”
“What?! No way. You totally look like a romance guy.”
I narrow my eyes. “Is that a twink joke?”
“Ha! Not this time. That’s a ‘you have a Disney princess face’ joke.”
“Oh, fuck off! I do not!”
