“No.” I pause, hoping like hell I’m not about to push for more than she’s willing to give. “Will you visit tomorrow? I’d like to spend time with you. It might help with my nerves if I can see you for a while.”
She’s silent for so long that I start counting the seconds. Have I finally scared her off? But then she speaks. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you come over and help me with the nursery?”
“Really?” I bark the word, shocked, and then mentally slap myself. “Are you sure?” I continue more softly.
“Yes.” Thank God she sounds calm, because my thoughts are rioting and one of us needs to be in control of their faculties. Heat burns in the back of my eyes, and my throat thickens.
Don’t cry, asshole.
I swallow hard and man the fuck up. “Yeah, that’d be great. When should I be there?”
“Can you be here at ten a.m.?” she asks. “Or does that interfere with your training schedule?”
“Fuck the schedule.” I’ll find someone else to fill in for me tomorrow. Devon has mentioned that he wouldn’t mind learning to coach, so it’ll give him the opportunity to jump in the deep end. “See you then, Ash.”
“Dress dirty,” she replies, then laughs at herself. “You know what I mean.”
I do, but my dick perks up anyway.
Calm down,I tell it.We have a long road home yet.
12
Seth
“What are you envisioning?” I ask, standing in the room Ashlin has designated as the nursery. She’s already moved the rubble from the demolition of the wall and is clad in yoga pants and a tank top with a toolbelt strapped around her waist. Fuck if she isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“We need to smooth out the damage and add a new panel here.” She gestures to the space where there’s a hole that was previously occupied by a wall. “Once that’s done, we can strip the wallpaper and sand the surface. I thought we’d paint it in the same shade of cream as the living room. I have enough of it left to do the job.”
“Great.”
Her hands go to her hips, and my gaze lingers on her belly, wondering if our baby is already growing inside her.
“Seth.”
I glance up to find her smirking. It’s an unusual expression on her, but one I remember well enough from the times she used to catch me checking her out and knew I liked what I saw. Once upon a time, she’d have sidled over, placed her hands on my chest, nibbled her lower lip and tempted me to give in to my craving for her. Images flash through my mind of my hands on her skin, my thumb and forefinger clasping her chin as I held her mouth still for a punishing kiss. The way her breath would come out in little pants as her eyes darkened with desire. I was an insatiable beast when it came to her, but she never had any control once the spark ignited either. Our need for each other eclipsed all else. The memory jolts me back a step, and I suck in a breath, the scent of wood and dust anchoring me in the present. I meet Ashlin’s gaze, and find it burning back into mine. Neither of us speak.
Then she shakes her head ever so slightly and thrusts a sander into my hand. “Start over there.”
Doing as she says, I mull over the moment we shared. After the brief intensity of that connection, I know there’s something in her that hasn’t let go of us yet. The question is, will she allow herself to ask for more from me than being a convenient sperm donor?
She switches on the radio and we listen while we work. I’m impressed by her competence, and even more so by how little she seems to notice it. She takes her own skills for granted, not realizing when she asks me to do things that are beyond my ability. Her easy self-assurance is new, and it hammers home how much she’s changed since we were married.
Every now and then, I catch her watching me with something that resembles shyness, but on the whole there’s a confidence about her that didn’t used to exist. While she’s never been weak, she used to look to me for support and it’s obvious she no longer needs to. I want to congratulate her and let her know that she blows me away, but there’s also a twinge in my chest because if I’m honest with myself, I liked the way she depended on me. At least, I did before it became an albatross around my neck.
Did she have to be away from me to experience this growth? I’ve always regretted the way things ended between us, but for the first time I’m beginning to wonder if it wasn’t for the best. The years apart have brought us to this place where we stand on a more even footing. We got together when she was young—maybe too young—and now she’s proved to herself what she’s capable of. Hope blossoms in my heart. Perhaps this is exactly how things are supposed to be, and this time around, we’re ready for each other.
Ashlin
It’s strange how natural it feels to work side by side with my ex-husband. As though we’ve done this dozens of times before. He holds a board in place and I secure it with a nail, brushing against him in the process. The scent of dusty man tickles my nostrils, appealing more than it should. There’s just something about a guy who works with his hands. That’s one of the things I always found incredibly sexy about Seth. He didn’t earn his small fortune by sitting in an office or playing with other people’s money. He earned it with his body. His blood and sweat.
My teeth sink into my lower lip and I ease away from him, ignoring the throb between my legs. It’s been a long time since I had sex. About three years, as a matter of fact. During that time, my libido has been nonexistent, but all it takes is a moment of closeness with Seth—the smell of his skin and sound of his steady breathing—to reawaken a part of me I’d long thought dead. Squeezing my thighs together, I mentally berate myself. I can’t let myself get turned on by the man who’s going to be the father of my baby. Talk about complicated.
“What next?” he asks, straightening. His shoulders strain against his t-shirt, and heat spirals downward through my body. God, his arms are so bulky. He could hold me up with one hand, pin me against the wall…
Get yourself together, girl.
“Um.” He stretches, revealing a band of firmly muscled stomach, and my capacity for thought flees. “Uh.”
