“You won’t regret it.” I reach for my bag and extract a sheath of papers, then pass them to him. “This is a legal contract that sets out how everything will work.”
He baulks, glancing from the papers to me, and back again, his distaste apparent. “Is that really necessary?”
“Yes.” Of this, I’m certain. I won’t allow any shades of gray. “Read it later. Have your lawyer look at it. Whatever you need.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.” He sets the papers aside and props his chin on his hand. “Let me pay for the procedure. IVF is expensive, right?”
I shake my head. “I have enough in my savings. It’s important to me that I pay myself.”
“Are you sure?” I can tell he wants to argue. He thinks he’s protecting me by taking on a financial burden, but I know the truth: I have to prove that I can stand on my own. Ineedit.
“Yes.” I raise my chin, waiting to see how he reacts.
To my surprise, he nods. “If that’s what you want.”
2
Seth
I set the papers aside.
This is my chance to get her back.
I asked for one, and the universe gave it to me. Sure, it doesn’t look like I expected it to, but I’m going to grab on with both hands and not let go. If Ashlin and I have a baby, she’ll be back in my life for good. We’ll have to spend time together, and presumably, we’ll have to have sex. My body heats at the thought of touching her. Laying my ugly boxer’s hands on her pretty pinkness and bringing her down to my level. She was always an angel. Too good for me. But in our lust, we were perfectly matched. I ached to manhandle her, and she was desperate for me to do so. You’d never know it to look at her, but behind her good girl exterior is a dirty little deviant who likes to be punished for tormenting her man. God, I hope no one other than me has ever seen her naughty side, but considering how fucking gorgeous she is, she won’t have been hurting for male attention. Damn, I want to hunt down anyone who’s so much as looked at her pert ass and make them regret it.
Taking another breath, I get my possessiveness under control. Maybe she liked that side of me when we were together, but we’re not married anymore. I don’t get to fuck her against the wall because some asshole looked at her in the way only I’m allowed to.
“I’ll send them to my lawyer tonight,” I tell her, making a point not to skim the details. I need to be sharp, and reading legalese isn’t something I’ve ever found easy. That’s why she used to do it for me, and summarize the basics. Ashlin wasn’t just my wife; she was also my sounding board and my conscience. Until I let her down.
“How are you feeling?” she asks, knowing me too well to buy the calm facade I’m putting on for her benefit.
“Crazy.” In a way, this is everything I’ve ever wanted. I used to dream of raising a family with Ashlin, but that was before everything fell apart. Leaning forward on my elbows, I reach over and grasp one of her hands. It twitches, as though her instinct is to yank it away, but she doesn’t.
I frown. Her palm isn’t as soft as it used to be. She has calluses, and her nails are short and bare. When we were together, she always sported a manicure, and I could tell by its color what mood she was in. I never mentioned that to her, but it was my barometer for when she might need more affection, or was feeling particularly spicy. My stomach drops an inch. The unfamiliar sensation of her roughened skin drives home the fact that I don’t know her anymore. I used to be the keeper of her secrets, but other than what I’ve been able to glean on social media—not a lot—I’m completely in the dark about her life.
“Ash,” I begin, concentrating on the shape of her fingers because at least that hasn’t changed. “I promise you, if things go wrong this time, I will be there for you.” I put my whole heart into the words, hoping she knows how much I mean them. “I’ll do a better job of taking care of you. I won’t let history repeat.”
Her lips part, her eyes flickering with something dark, but then she clears her throat and withdraws her hand from mine. “That’s sweet, but I don’t need you to do that for me. This time, I’m capable of doing it myself.”
Fuck. If she kicked me in the balls, it wouldn’t hurt this much. She knows I always prided myself on my ability to give her what she needed. Only, I failed in the end, and apparently, she hasn’t forgotten.
“Seth…” She cringes. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. It’s just that I’m a whole lot stronger than I used to be.”
I nod, noting her raised chin and defiant expression. It seems I’m not the only one with a lot of pride. “So, how are you keeping yourself busy these days?”
Up until I saw her over the weekend, I hadn’t looked her up for years because it hurt too much. In the months after she left me, I checked her social media every damn day, looking for a sign she was doing okay—or that she missed me and was miserable without me. She didn’t post anything for six months, but then she replaced her profile photo of us on our honeymoon with one of her and two other women I’d never met. That prompted me to deep dive into her new friends’ accounts, but when I found myself getting unreasonably angry because one of them had a good-looking brother, I realized I needed to back the hell off and let it go. She wasn’t my business anymore.
“I’m working at the kindergarten again.”
“Whoa.” I lean back to study her. The set of her mouth tells me she’s expecting me to make a big deal of it. As well I should. She took months off after the miscarriage because she couldn’t handle seeing the kids every day and remembering what we’d lost. Now she’s back there? “Are you… enjoying it?”
“I am.” She smiles, and the flash of her teeth renders me speechless. My throat constricts, and my fingers itch to reach for her. “Being around the children reminds me of how much I want my own, and maybe it’s risky, but honestly, they’re worth it.”
“That’s great.” I wince when my tone is hoarser than I’d like it to be. “Really, Ash. I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Thank you.”
“There’s no man in your life who’s going to be pissed that you’re having a baby with your ex?” I’ve assumed there isn’t, but I’d prefer to know for sure.
