After Harley and I step outside, I stare at the door for far too long before moving, then pull Harley into my arms and hold her close.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d react that way.” I kiss the top of her head and try not to freak out as I think through the implications. If Seth is serious and one of us has to leave the gym—most likely me—does that mean I won’t see my friends anymore? Will they be forced to choose sides? And can I still compete in the fight he lined up for me, or will that opportunity be lost?
I put those worries to the back of my mind. They don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. What’s more important is the fact that I’d been sure our coming clean wouldn’t be as big a deal as Harley feared. But I was wrong. Seth is really upset.
Have I driven a wedge between them? Cut her off from her sole source of stability during a turbulent time in her life? Damn, I hope not. I need to make sure my girl is okay.
“How are you doing?” I ask gently.
Her shoulders hunch. “I want to say I wasn’t expecting it, but he’s always been stubborn when he has an idea in his head about how things should be.” She straightens, and her hands fall away from her face. Her expression is so weary it tears at my soul. “I just wish he’d give us a chance to show we can train together and be together without everything going up in flames.” She shakes her head, and her eyes shine with tears. “I’m so sorry. I know how much you love the gym, and everything was fine until I came along.”
“Don’t be.” I grip her by the shoulders and stare down at her, willing her to see the truth in my eyes. The depth of my feelings for her. Much as I hate the rift forming between Seth and me, and I haven’t wrapped my head around what it would mean to lose the gym—my place to belong—I know, beyond a doubt, that I will survive it. I’m not sure my heart can live through the loss of Harley.
“There are other gyms.” I lean forward to kiss her but stop short when I see her wariness. “There’s only one Harley Isles, and I’m not prepared to give her up yet.”
Her chin juts mutinously. “I know how much Crown MMA means to you.”
“But do you know whatyoumean to me?” I can’t help it if I sound exasperated. I am. “You’re more important than the gym is. It’s just a place.”
“Really?” I can tell she wants to believe me.
“Yes. My main concern is you and Seth. I have a support system. Friends and family. He’s all you’ve got, and I know how important he is to you. What if this damages your relationship?” I’ll never forgive myself if their bond is weakened because of me.
She pales. “We’ll be okay.” Her voice shakes. “I mean, we managed to get through eight years of me being overseas, so this can’t break us, right?”
“I don’t know, Harls.” I wish I did, so I could reassure her.
“At least I’m starting to make new friends,” she says, as much to herself as to me. “Meet other people.”
My stomach roils. “Do you mean Sydney and Lena?”
Because if so, there’s a chance she’ll lose them too, if Jase and Gabe decide to take Seth’s side since they warned me not to screw things up and I did anyway. Then who would she have left? Just me? While I’ll happily be everything to her that I can, I don’t want her to feel isolated and alone.
She winces. “You think they’ll take a step back when they find out?”
“I’d like to think not, but I don’t know. Lena is stubborn, and Sydney has a massive heart, so they might ignore the drama, but it’s definitely possible, out of loyalty to their guys.”
Her face falls, and I hate it. But then she seems to muster her strength. “No. I refuse to dwell on the worst case scenario. We need to come up with a plan.”
I hesitate, unsure whether I should mention what’s on my mind.
“What is it?” she asks, frowning.
“Maybe…” I fill my lungs with air and say the last thing I want to. “Maybe we should put a pause on things between us. Then I can find another gym, and you can repair your relationship with Seth.”
Her lips part, and her eyes widen with shock. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No!” I drop my hands from her shoulders and try to scoop her into a hug, but she squirms and I’m forced to release her. “But if we don’t see each other for a couple of weeks, and give Seth time to adjust to the idea of us without being in his face about it then he might be more willing to accept us together long-term.” I cup her face in my palms. “I don’t want to come between you and your brother.”
She shakes her head vehemently. “I won’t do that. We’ve finally put ourselves out there. I’m not stuffing us back into a closet for the sake of smoothing things over with Seth a little faster.” She tugs on her ponytail, teeth embedded in her lip while she thinks. “Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll give Seth a few hours to mull it over, and I’ll talk to him again tonight.”
“We both will,” I counter.
She presses her lips together and hesitates, clearly not sold on the idea, but if she wants to stay together and damn the consequences, then that starts now.
“We need to present a united front,” I add.
She inclines her head. “Okay, maybe you’ve got a point.”
