I heard what I believed to be Lorian’s voice to my right. “Sister, do something!”
Panic edged Zorinna’s voice. “I don’t know what to do! Fuck! This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Something! Anything!”
I opened my eyes enough to witness her dragging a dagger down her arm, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Come on, Jyuri. I need you!” Blood gushed down her skin, pooling into a small puddle on the ground.
It was mere seconds before the room grew shockingly frigid. The Fae appeared at Zorinna’s side, face stained with unmistakable rage. His clawed hands snatched up her arm, examining the wound. He said nothing, but the murder in his eyes demanded an explanation. When he didn’t receive one from Zorinna, he scanned the room, eventually landing his gaze on me.
“Why am I not surprised to find that you are the source of her injuries?”
I was certain he was going to kill me, and I would have welcomed it if only for relief from the agony, but Zorinna grabbed his wrist before he could round on me. “We made a deal, Jyuri. You are to protect her at all costs.”
“To protect you both at all costs,” he bit back. “I never said which of you I would prioritize.” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You should know better than to take my words at face value.”
“If this was ever more than a bargain for you, you will save her life. Or I will never—never forgive you.”
“I love it when you threaten me, darling.”
Jyuri was by my side in an instant, gathering me in his arms. He didn’t warn me of what would come next. All I knew was that one moment I was writhing in his arms in that ancient temple,and the next, there was nothing but ice and snow. And relief. Finally, sweet relief.
Iremembered every life I’d ever lived.
The memories came in waves. Jumbled echoes of lives long past flashed before my eyes, one after another, starting from my first life. Each wave was painful, but nowhere near as excruciating as what I’d experienced in the temple. Wherever Jyuri had taken me had made the process more bearable. I was thankful for his—albeit reluctant—intervention. Though, he never checked on me, not until the process had fully completed. By which point, I was not the same Nairu he’d saved, and I cared little for the Fae who had killed me on more than one occasion.
“It was necessary,” he’d explained when I questioned why I’d recalled memories of my death at his hands. “Between Zaelos taking full control of your body and your blood on my hands, there is no choice. It is my failure to destroy him that led to his and your continued rebirth. I must bear the burden when things go too far.”
He was right; I knew. Letting Zaelos go free would’ve been catastrophic to the realm. Still, the phantom pain of Jyuri’s icy hot fire turning me to ash lingered as though it’d happened only yesterday. It was always quick. Merciful. I could picture the facehe’d made each time we failed. It was so unlike the expressions of the Jyuri I knew from my present life. Was it pity? Guilt? It was something far too human.
Jyuri had left me alone for several nights after that, sending in an attendant, a Fae under his employ named Firoan, to deliver food and drink and care for me. Tonight was the first night Jyuri had entered the room and stayed long enough for us to have a conversation.
“Can you move your body yet?”
I shook my head. “Very little. Have you found Alandris?”
“No. When summoned by the Divine Council, he is beyond even my reach. He never disappears for more than a few days. I expect to locate him soon.” He took a seat at the side of my bed and frowned. “I am not sure why, but I expected you to be more… hysterical. You are rather pitiful like this. It’s perturbing.”
I huffed a laugh. “I suppose I am a bit numb to it at the moment. I’m trying to come to terms with who… or what I am.”
There were eight different versions of me, and each of them had their own story, most of them cut incredibly short. Eight different Saintesses and their Keepers. Eight different hopes, desires, and dreams. My soul remained at the center of them all, the one commonality between them, and for the first time, it was whole. And while I struggled to discern which facets of my personality were my true self, I knew one thing for certain—I would fulfill the promises from my seventh and eighth life. I had not forgotten my first friendships, nor my first love, nor my utmost desire to be free.
Jyuri leaned back in his chair. “Regrettably, we don’t have time for you to wallow in your sadness. I saved your life by bringing you to the Faewilds, but you cannot stay here long. We need to get Zaelos out of you before it’s too late. The magic here can only contain him for so long.”
“I’m in the Faewilds?”
He held up a finger, a wide grin rising to his face. “Ah, yes! Welcome to the Winter Court. I had to skip the proper introductions since you were dying. You are staying in a private hot spring within my territory. You can repay me the cost of your visit later.”
“I don’t intend to make any deals with you. If I recall correctly, you made a bargain to protect me,” I hummed. “Where is Zorinna, anyway?”
His smile fell. “I would not allow her to come here. It is not safe. Typical dangers of the Faewilds aside, your magic is too volatile now that you’ve regained your memories.”
“I imagine she took that poorly.”
“Imagine all you’d like,” he sneered. “She isn’t coming here. I do not care if she begs on her hands and knees.”
Now, that would be a sight. Not one likely to ever come true. “Zorinna is a dear friend, but I can’t imagine her ever entertaining a deal with a Fae, even if it were to help a friend. She is too reasonable for that. She would find another way. What made her do such a thing? What did you do to her?”
Jyuri stood abruptly. “What did I do? What did I do!Hecould not handle your death! What choice did she have?” His yellow eyes shined with unbridled rage, and the already chilled room grew frigid. So quickly had he exploded. “None of you deserve her.”
