My knees are on either side of his hips, and his hard length presses against my core.
I push against him, registering the pleasure it gives me, moaning against his mouth, even though it’s a calculated sound.
Our bodies are closer than they’ve ever been before, and it would take very little effort to draw him inside me.
All the while, his mouth claims me. One arm supports my back while his head lowers to my neck, trailing kisses to my breasts, where he draws more moans to my lips.
I know my body well enough to be certain that I’m ready. Beyond ready.
I take hold of his length between us, tipping my hips enough that it will be easy to take him inside me as soon as his mouth returns to mine.
With my hand wrapped around him, I whisper, “Tell me what I want to know.”
He groans against my mouth. “You are a beautiful darkness.”
No. That isn’t what I want to know.
But of course, my question was wrong.
“Tell me what I need to know,” I say, drawing his lips to mine and kissing him as desperately as he’s kissing me.
“You are a beautiful darkness, my Veda,” he murmurs against my mouth. “A true darkness.”
No.Dammit.
His hands clamp around my hips, and I’m certain he’s going to pull me toward him, a thrust I want and need because I’m certain I can stay in control.
But instead, he pushes himself away from me.
His breathing is ragged and his eyes are flooded with desire, but his voice is harsh. “No full-on cock and vagina sex, remember?”
Suddenly, it’s as if he can see into the heart of me.
I struggle to reply as the control I thought I had slips away from me. In those moments of my silence, his expression becomes blank, so devoid of emotion that it makes me shiver and then I can’t find words at all.
“Now that you know I’m your enemy, you’re in no danger of losing control to your feelings.” He wrenches away from me, his hands finally leaving my hips before he turns away. “Control is everything to you. Fucking me is one way to take back the control over me that you think you’ve lost.”
I can’t stop the truth. “Yes.”
Because he has never kissed me like that. Vulnerable, needy kisses.
I slide from the table, landing lightly on the rug before I raise myself up, completely naked, my shoulders squared.
I don’t understand why my chest hurts so much at this moment.
The heart whose power I no longer control aches badly.
I can’t stop the words tumbling from my mouth, the questions to which I need answers. “Why wasn’t my mother afraid of you? Why didn’t she fight you?”
He’s only half-turned away from me, but there are too many shadows in his expression for me to decipher his thoughts.
“Only she knows that,” he says.
I try again. “Did she know you?” I take a step toward him. “She greeted you as if she knew you.”
He winces. “Nobody knew me, my Veda.”
My brow furrows because that makes no sense.
