When the repeated nightmares of him coming into my room and touching me again became too much, I made an anonymous call to a charitythathelps victims of sexual assault. One lengthy conversation helped me to realizethatI wasn’t to blame.
That I was raped.
The lady I spoke to tried to convince me to go to the police, or at theveryleast, tell someone I trusted so they could support me. There was only one person I wanted to tell, but he was the last person on earth I wanted to talk to.
So, for an entire month, I’ve kept what Ethan did to me a secret, but I don’t think I can keep it any longer because I’m in a whole heap of trouble.
I’m pregnant.
I stare at the ten pregnancy tests all lined up on the chest of drawers in my bedroom, all showing the positive sign. I can believe one of the tests is a false positive, but not ten.
A million questions rush through my head, but one answer is crystal clear.
I’m keeping the baby.
The baby that’s growing inside of me. I don’t care if it was created by a monster; the baby is still half of me, and I can’teventhink of getting rid of it.
Tears well in my eyes, emotions overwhelming me. There’s an inexplicable happiness rushing through me. The baby is probably no bigger than a seed, and I know I already love it, but I can’t deny the other part of methathates it.
I’d always envisioned a moment like this, celebrating with Jackson, who was going to become a father. But this moment, much like him being my first, was ripped from us.
By his own father.
Jackson has been beside himself this last month, at least that’s what James has told me, but he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t knowthatJackson is devastated because I ended things between us.
Like a coward, I avoided him for an entire week afterthatnight. He wanted to come and see me, sneak in so we could meet in the treehouse like we used to, but I told him I didn’t want to see him.
AndthenI told him via a text messagethatI didn’t love him anymore.
Like a coward, I ignored every single text and voice message begging me to speak to him afterthat.
My bedroom door swings open, and the next few seconds happen in slow motion.
“Kiera, I’ve been calling-”my dad snaps, his eyes darting from me to the tests lined up on the side, his brows furrowing before almost disappearing off his head when he connects the dots. He stomps over to the side, and I hold my breath, waiting for the explosion.“What the fuck is this?”
His angry snarl whips to me, and the words fall out before I can stop them.“I…I’m pregnant.”
A thick tension settles over the room as he stares back at me. He stands so still, I’m not sure he isevenbreathing. Suddenly, he grabs me, his fingers digging into the spot where Ethan had held me, the bruises he left behind onlyjustfaded.“Say.That. Again.”
A sob flies free as a tear rolls down my face.“I’m pregnant,”I suck in a shaky breath, determined to be brave for the sake of my baby.“And I’m keeping it.”
“Like fucking hell you are!”he roars, shoving me away in disgust.“What do you mean you’re pregnant? You’re fifteen years old, you little whore!”Before I can brace myself, he slaps me hard around the face, my cheek burning.“Who’s the father?”
More tears fall, stinging my red cheek. I wrap my arms around my stomach, feeling the need to protect what’s growing there, and wanting my mom to come in and wrap her arms around me to protect me from my father. But she isn’t home.
“Dad, please,” I start.
He grabs me again and throws me onto the bed.“Who is the father, Kiera?”
Unable to stop the flood of tearsthatstream from my eyes, I decide to tell him the truth, hoping to earn his understanding.“I was raped.”
My dad’s angry glare softens momentarily, and he takes a few seconds before he replies.“By who?”
The mental anguish at acknowledging the truth aloud isunbearable torture. Ethan’s face appears in my mind, looming over me as he grunted and groaned, thrusting inside me and stealing my innocence.
I close my eyes, swallowing down the vomitthatwants to erupt as I say his name.“Ethan. Ethan Rivers.”
When I don’t hear a response, notevena sharp intake of breath, I crack my eyes open to peek. My dad glowers at me, a muscle ticking in his jaw, and my heart starts beating frantically as I await his response, expecting him to go apoplecticthathis friend hurt his little girl.
