A friendly smile creases his face, and I relax as I follow him into the house I’ve been in at least a hundred times in my life. James, Jackson, and I are pretty inseparable. Or at least, we were until they started getting pulled into Legion business.
“Can I get you a drink?”Ethan asks when we reach the games room, and cigarette smell fills my nostrils.
The games room is the only room in the house Mrs. Rivers allows him to smoke in. He often sits at the bar smoking and watching Jackson, James, and me playing pool on the full-size table dominating the room, occasionally joining in when we want to play doubles.
He slips behind the bar, pouring himself a whiskey as I take a seat on the stool, leaning my elbow onto the bar.“I’m okay, thanks.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
With his tumbler full, he joins me at the seats, taking the stool next to me, our knees touching with how close he is.Thatweird feeling in my stomach starts again.
“So, how’s school?”
“Oh, it’s going okay. I’ll be glad when the exams are over, though, and we can enjoy summer,”I reply, subtly looking at my watch and wondering how much longer Jackson is going to be.
Ethan pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking one out and lighting it. For the next few minutes, we talk about school and where I’d like to go to college as he smokes his cigarette. I hate the smell, and I try not to wrinkle my nose every time the smoke hits my face.
Finally, he extinguishes it in the ashtray before taking a sip of his whiskey.“You know, I had a lot of fun in college.”
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I’m growing more frustrated by the secondthatJackson isn’t back yet.“Oh,really?”
It isn’t a questionthatI want answering. Truthfully, I don’t want to know about the kind of fun he got up to in college. I’ve never felt this uncomfortable in his presence before, and I can’t quite figure out why he’s making me feelthatway now.
I realize this is the first time I can recall ever being alone with him, and it’s not something I want to repeat. Not with the way his gaze keeps flicking down to my breasts.
“Yeah. I was a real cad.”He wiggles his brows, smirking mischievously.“But I couldn’t help it. All these promiscuous girls running around, it was hard to resist.”Bile churns in my stomach, and my eyes flash to the door, a voice in my head telling methatit’s time to leave.“I think you’ll have fun at college, Kiera. A pretty girllike you will attract all kinds of attention.”My blood turns to ice as he places a hand on my bare thigh.“Are you ready forthat?”
His hand sliding further up my thigh has my instincts kicking in, and I jump from the stool.“You know, I think I got it wrong. I think I was meant to meet Jackson at the party, so I’ll get going.”
I take a step to pass him, but before I can, he grabs my arm, his fingertips digging in hard enough to leave bruises.“Come on, Kiera. Loosen up a little, you’ll need to for college.”
The overpowering stench of whiskey and cigarette breath brushes over me, making me want to gag, and it’s only nowthatI’m closer to him, I can see his eyes are glazed. He must have been drinking before I arrived.
“What are you doing?”I ask, panic lacing my voice as I attempt to pull my arm free.
He grabs my other arm, gripping me impossibly tight as he lowers his face to mine.“I can help you, Kiera. I can help you get prepared for what you’ll experience at college. You don’t want to be seen as the class prude, do you?”
He spins us around, and I shriek, trying my hardest to pull my arms out of his grasp, but he’sjusttoo strong. He backs us up, and before I can stop him, my legs crash against the armrest of the leather couch. I scream as I lose my balance, tumbling backward with Ethan falling on top of me.
His heavy body pins me to the cushions, and as I wriggle underneath him, desperately trying to get myself free. Blinding panic seeps into the marrow of my bones when I feel his erection pressing into my belly. He manages to grab my hands, pinning them awkwardly above my head with one hand, and with the other, he yanks my legs apart, settling between them.
“Relax, Kiera, and I won’t hurt you when I fuck you,”he spits, hovering over me.
Fear slams into me, so powerfulthatit consumes my entire body, turning me to a frozen statue. He reaches between us, tearing my underwear from my body before unzipping his pants.
And still, I can’t move. I’m helpless but to lie there, staring up at a brown stain on the white ceiling as pain between my legs rips me apart.
I have no recollection of how I got home. All I know isthatI needed to shower and wash every trace of him from my body. My phone rings again from my bedroom, but I don’t move. Ijustsit on the tiles of my shower, letting the hot water cascade over me, burning my skin.
But I don’t feel clean. I don’t think I ever will.
When the water turns cold, and wracking shivers take over my body, I finally move, wincing from the pain between my legs as I stagger to my bedroom, not bothering to wrap a towel around me.
I glance at my phone, noting five missed calls from Jackson. I reach for it and quickly type out a message telling him I’m not feeling well. Clambering under the covers of my bed, soaking the sheets with my damp body, I curl into a ball and cry.
One month later
For the first two weeks, I convinced myselfthatwhat happened was my fault. I blamed myself for dressing provocatively. For going into the house knowing Ethan was alone. For not telling him to stop.
