Closing it behind me, I spot Jude and Laurel on the couch, deep in conversation, Tahnee in the kitchen loading the fridge with beer and wine. But Jenna is nowhere to be seen.
“Tahnee,” I call out and her head snaps in my direction. “Is she here?” She closes the fridge, and shoulders slouch when she gives me a slight shake of the head.
Disappointment swallows me whole.
“She’s with the Herring girls at Olive’s gig, but she said she might show up later.” She shrugs, and I force a smile.
“No worries. I’ll keep a lookout.”
That wasn’t an understatement.
Every time my apartment door opened, I was filled with nervous anticipation, only to be let down when I saw someone else on the other side of it. I think every single cast and crew member were accounted for tonight apart from her.
Her absence has been noticed. “I’m sure she’ll be here,” Tahnee assured me five times in a row, and by the sixth, I came to realize that Jenna was going to be a no-show.
“Nothing comes between Jenna and those girls, Cole.” Tahnee hands me a beer, and at the rate I’ve been going, I’m surprised there are any left. I haven’t left the couch. She’s been acting as my personal bartender, doing her best to make sure my hand is never empty, while making small talk that none of us really care for.
“Thanks,” I say with a slur, trying to keep my voice even. “You know things between her and I are—”
“Confusing? Yeah, you could say that.” She chuckles. “I love her more than I love a lot of people, but if you’re hoping to lock her down when this is all over, then you’re wasting your time. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.” She clinks her glass against my beer bottle and I chug it down. Sinking back into the couch, I close my eyes, desperate to drown out the sound of music and chatter that surrounds me.
I’ve convinced myself she isn’t coming, and I hate that I’m disappointed about it. But when I feel fingertips tracing my biceps and down my forearms, my thoughts all but stop.
When I feel lips nip at my ear, I shudder, then relax my body.
But when I feel legs draping over my lap one by one, I freeze completely.
“Get off me,” I whisper to the blonde I don’t want, careful not to cause a scene in front of everyone we work with. My hands have remained firmly by my side this entire time, my eyes glued shut, but I know the person on my lap isn’t who I’ve waited for all night.
Even in my intoxicated state, I’m suddenly all too conscious of how this looks to watchful eyes, and even more aware of how itfeels.
“Now, Mara. Don’t make me force you.” My once slurred words are suddenly clear as I warn her, gripping her hips to physically lift her off me, but she bucks them to grind herself against my waist, placing her forehead down on mine.
“Just give in to it, Cole. Why are you fighting it so hard?” She attempts to kiss me, but I turn as her lips scrape the side of my mouth and the chatter around us mutes. I don’t need to look toward the door to know why.
She’s here right on time to see this whole thing unfold, and everybody’s watching as it plays out.
“Snow,” I whisper, shoving Mara off my lap onto the other side of the couch, and Jenna’s head shakes slightly as she swallows hard. “This isn’t what—” I attempt to say the oldest excuse in the book, but she raises her hand to shut me up.
“Fuck you, Cole.” She’s drunk. That much is obvious from the redness in her cheeks, and the way those three, painful words, sounded coming out of her mouth. My only hope is that she doesn’t remember any of this tomorrow, but I know my chances are slim.
I rush off the couch in an attempt to close the gap between us, not caring that everyone is watching, but she heads toward the kitchen, not the door.
“Can we at least talk?” I ask, suddenly sober and so fucking desperate. “Please.”
“What for?” she answers, her back to me, rummaging around in my nearly empty cupboards in search of a glass. “So you can act your way out of it?” She finds what she needs and heads for the fridge. “No, thank you.” Pulling out a bottle of soda, she tucks it under her arm before ripping open the freezer, and taking out a tray of ice. “We always had an end date. It’s just a little earlier than we expected.” She forces a smile, twisting the plastic tray in her hands as the ice cubes pop out, and throws them into her cup.
“This can’t be over. I don’t want—”
“You don’t get to decide whatIwant. And what I want right now, is to forget you even exist.” I watch as she fills half her glass with vodka, adds a splash of soda for color, and chugs it back before the ice can even make it cold.
“I’m taking this.” She picks up the bottle of alcohol, and I watch as she walks out my door, slamming it shut behind her, the walls vibrating in her absence.
I’m not imagining the silence this time, and it’s the loudest thing I’ve ever heard. I look over my shoulder to see Tate beside Mara on the couch, comforting her as she pretends to cry. Tahnee rushed out after Jenna, so she’s not here to call me an idiot, and everyone else is just…staring at me. Their mouths hang open like I’ve just confessed to murder, but Jude is the one to break the silence.
“You really fucked that one up, didn’t you, Green?”
Chapter forty
