Jenna
My head feels likesomeone has held a jackhammer to my skull all night, but unlike my typical drunken nights out followed by the roughest hangovers known to man, I remembereverythingabout last night.
Getting picked up by Cassandra and Harley after seeing them for the first time since their honeymoon.
Being at Olive’s gig where she told us afterward that she’d signed a record deal with World Music. Three of us girls, along with Harley, celebrated by getting drunk out of our minds. Cassandra was our designated driver.
But the whole time, I couldn’t wait to get back to Cole and tell him all about it.
Last night, after the article broke, it was a hard pill to swallow. But I knew it wasn’t true, so I did my best to ignore it and whatever noise that followed because I suddenly realized just how important Cole was to me, and how little things like that, didn’t matter.
The vile comments left on social media, though, were harder to digest.
Margot said the business hadn’t been affected, but I had a feeling she was lying to me.
I knew the party was happening, and I hoped to make it for the last hour, ending the night curled up next to him in his bed or mine. But I walked in on whatlookedincriminating.
That’s not true.
I walked in a minute before seeing what everyone else saw, and I watched as Jude sent Mara over to a visibly wasted Cole.
Watched as she straddled him, and heard his voice tell her to get off him.
I heard him.
But instead of stopping it from getting out of hand, I let it play out. Because I think a part of me wanted to see something happen between Mara and Cole so things could end between us.
Because I’m a fucking coward.
Us ending is the last thing I wanted, and while I’m not in the habit of admitting the truth, I felt like it was time to finally do it.
When he told me that he’d worked at the Lotus for the last few years, it sparked a hope in me I hadn’t realized.
A hope for something more.
Something I never wanted with anybody else.
But drunk Jenna got in the way of things and made damn sure I would be lonely for the rest of my life.
Groaning, I roll out of bed, still in the dress that I wore last night, and walk toward the kitchen.
If the smell of vodka in the air wasn’t enough to make me want to puke, the memory of me doing exactly that last night almost does the trick.
Thankfully, I keep it all down.
I open the fridge and freezer doors, standing inside, and allow the ice-cold air to cover me from head to toe before I rest my forehead on an empty shelf.
I’m too hungover to face any consequences today, but I know that if I don’t face them now, I never will.
I’ll go to set on Monday morning. I’ll pretend as though he and I were never anything but colleagues, and I’ll head home heartbroken, like I promised myself I wouldn’t do.
And once I get home, I’ll constantly be looking over my shoulder for him, hoping fate will force us together, and that God-forsaken curse would be broken. Maybe for once,for once, I could get the happy ending that my best friends tell me I deserve.
If I avoid him, I don’t get any of that.
Closing the doors to my refrigerator, I strip down in my kitchen, leaving a trail of clothes behind me, and head for the bathroom, where I find my phone face up on the tiles beside the toilet bowl.
“Figures,” I mutter to myself as I pick it up, seeing three unread texts from Tahnee telling me to call her when I wake up, one from Cole saying ‘Can we talk?’, and one from Cassandra asking if I’d enjoyed the party.
