“I’m good,” I echo their sentiment. “B-better. Um, a lot better recently. I don’t know if Dad told you—Matteo said he didn’t—but I went into an inpatient care program for sixty days. It really helped me, and I’ve been keeping my progress up since coming home.”
Dmitri blinks and from the surprised look in Ivan’s eyes, I know what he’s going to say. “Dad didn’t tell us, no.”
“He’s been really good about giving me privacy,” I comment, hoping to cure any betrayal they might feel for being left out ofthe loop. “He’s been really good to me, in general. I regret not leaning on him sooner.”
My older brothers look a bit thrown off by my words, and I know it’s because some part of Dmitri is still angry with our father. Dmitri is so strong, and so smart…I think he thinks that if he was in Dad’s position, he could have prevented what happened to me. I heard him years ago, yelling that Dad should have been strong enough to kill our mother when she first became a traitor.
But how could you see your wife, the woman you married and had children with, becoming something so evil? She stole money from him—from the Bratva—so he exiled her. He divorced her and sent her away. But nobody expects a bank robber to commit much more heinous atrocities, just because they were capable of stealing.
I don’t know how Ivan feels about our dad, but he’s Dmitri’s man through and through. If Dmitri feels some type of way, Ivan supports it, whether he agrees with it or not.
“So, anyway,” I say awkwardly, moving on. “Dante is here. He’s staying the night and leaving tomorrow, so we’ll probably have dinner. I think we’re going to skip on inviting Aunt Irina and Uncle Lev, though. I don’t know how Mr. Moretti will react if he finds out that Lev punched Matteo.”
Ivan flinches. “Uncle Lev hit Matteo?”
“Yeah.” I frown. “But it was a while ago now, and I made him apologize.”
“Why did he?—”
“He saw them kissing,” Dmitri fills in before Ivan can finish asking.
“You knew?”
“Matteo told me while I was there.”
“Oh.” Ivan sighs. He obviously knew that Dmitri came home, but he clearly feels left out that he’s missed information. “So, um, what made you decide to call?”
“A lot of things,” I admit, still feeling okay. I don’t have the sudden urge to flee or to fly out of my body to escape this conversation. “Mainly that I realized Dmitri flew all the way out here to help Matteo and I didn’t even know he was in town. I know that he didn’t come to see me because I haven’t been open to it, but I found myself wishing he sought me out anyway. I think that’s when I knew I was ready.”
Dmitri’s lips tick upward on the sides, and his eyes go soft.
“I was so thankful that you didn’t try to push my boundaries, but in doing so, you also helped me realize that I was ready to push them myself. I’ve missed you both so much, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to tell you that—to tell youanything, really.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” The words leave them both at the same time.
“I know, but I’m still sorry. It was never about either of you. My brain doesn’t operate the way a healthy, regularly functioning brain does anymore. And it never will again. PTSD stays with you forever, but you adapt. And I’ve been adapting for a long while now.”
“Does this mean we get to see you more regularly?” Ivan asks, and there’s so much hope in his voice that it almost makes me want to cry. “Or just talk to you more?”
“I think so,” I reply, feeling warm that he even wants that. “We can text, and plan some calls? Maybe work our way up to a visit eventually. I tend to underestimate myself. I can handle more than I think I can. I just have to prove it to myself constantly so that I don’t freak out or worry too much.”
“We can work at your speed,” Dmitri agrees.
“I know you can,” I tell him appreciatively. “You’ve been doing it for years.”
Before I can get choked up, I clear my throat quietly and straighten my shoulders. “Now, I’ve missed my niece and nephew very much, are they around to seetetyaAnya?”
A smile full of fatherly love and fondness comes over Dmitri and he nods. “They’re around. They already napped today, so they’re full of energy too. Jade will be glad to hand them off.”
“Did I hear my name?” a feminine voice chimes in from afar. The sound of hurried footsteps and tiny peals of laughter come closer to the phone and I realize she must have both babies with her. “Is it time to pass these gremlins over? If your son tugs my hair one more time, I’m going to put socks on his hands.”
“So he can scream and then bite them off?” Ivan chuckles, standing up to lean over the camera. When he sits back down, baby Isobella is in his arms.
My heart aches seeing her tiny, cute face. Jade has been sending Matteo pictures and videos and he’s been sharing them with me, but this feels much more special. It’s just like when Matteo would video call me with the twins, talking to me for hours sometimes while playing with them.
Cesar appears in Dmitri’s lap and he’s chewing happily on what looks like a plastic toy whale.
“There we go,” Jade says, remaining out of frame. “Now Mama can get a drink of water without having it spill all over her, can’t she?”
