I do, but I don’t know how to ask for it without sounding silly. I need my big brothers.
Anya
I was just wondering if you were free for a video call? It’s okay if you’re not. I know this is really out of the blue.
Again, his response comes in fast.
Dmitri
Do you want to see the twins?
I try not to frown at his assumption, knowing it’s a completely logical thing to guess. I’ve spent more time on the phone with his babies than I have with either of my brothers. But it still sort of stings to read.
Anya
I’d love to. I haven’t seen them since Matteo came. But I was actually wanting to see you and Ivan. It’s been so long.
It’s been so long because I made it so, but I feel the ache of time passing either way.
Dmitri
Okay. I’ll get Ivan and we can bring the kids in for the call after a few minutes if you want.
Anya
Sounds good :)
I hope my smiley face comes across as natural and convincing rather than forced and weird.Who am I kidding?Dmitri isn’t the kind of man who thinks twice about emojis. There’s no way he’s going to read into a freaking orange smiley.
Dmitri
You can call whenever you’re ready.
So it’s up to me, is it?
Breathing slowly a few more times, I relax my shoulders and prop my phone up on my desk. When my finger touches the screen, and a mirror of me pops up, I’m reminded of the first time that I FaceTimed with Matteo. I was so nervous that my stomach hurt, but it all ended up being okay. Just like this will.
When two faces flash over my screen, minimizing my face and taking over the call, I almost bite my tongue. It’s jarring to see them so closely after so long. Even at the wedding where we shared the same space and the same air, they remained distant. I saw them from a far and missed the tiny details that make up their features.
Dmitri looks older, though he’s only twenty-four now. His face is clean-shaven but with a five o’clock shadow that makes him look distinctly like a dad. Likeourdad. His dark hair and dark eyes don’t match the genes that were passed to me, but Ivanis like a mix of the two of us. His hair is lighter brown, and his eyes are a dusty blue like my own.
He’s smaller like me too, but still manly and imposing. He reminds me a bit of Nico, now that I think of it. Their personalities are completely different from what I remember, and Nico has much darker hair, but there’s something familiar about them.
“Hi,” I finally say after staring at the two of them for far too long. “Sorry, I just…you guys look different.”
“Hi,” Ivan echoes, like he isn’t sure what else to add.
“You look different too,” Dmitri supplies, his voice as rich and deep as I remember. “It’s good to see you, Anya.”
“It’s good to see you too.”
My hands feel sweaty and I don’t know what to do with them or where to set them, but I don’t feel any pins and needles. My stomach isn’t churning with acidic anxiety, and my legs don’t seem to have gone weak like gummy worms. I could stand up without stumbling, and that’s definitely a good sign.
“H-how are you both?”
“We’re good,” Dmitri says, giving me a small smile. “Right, Ivan?”
“Yeah, we’re good,” my brother agrees, shifting in his seat. They appear to be sitting at a table, shoulder to shoulder so that they both fit into frame. “How are you?”
