‘Confused. Full of questions. Same as everyone. I have no idea how to explain it to them.’ Her voice was tight and she looked across at Bub, who was busy clearing his plate. ‘You were about their age when your dad died.’
Bub’s fork slowed. ‘I suppose.’
‘Did anyone say anything that helped you understand what was going on?’
It was a sign of Ilse’s desperation that she was even asking, Nathan thought. Bub started eating again.
‘Dunno,’ he said, still chewing. ‘Not really. I was okay.’
That wasn’t even close to true, Nathan knew. Nathan had been barely twenty-one when their dad died, with Cameron two years behind. But Bub had only been eight and there had been nightmares. Nathan had seen and heard them for himself when he’d come home, the whole house waking up to the sound of shrieks. Bub’s face shiny with sweat and tears, saying that Dad was alive, but now bloodied and furious at what had happened to him. The nightmares had lasted for years apparently, Nathan wasn’t sure exactly how long. There were plenty of things worse than bad dreams, but Bub had not been okay, not at all.
‘Did anyone actually talk to Uncle Cam before he left on Wednesday?’ Xander looked around the table.
Harry pointed his fork at Simon. ‘We’d both already gone, but –’ He gestured at Katy, who nodded.
‘I saw him. Briefly. The girls and I were playing in the schoolroom – it’s in that cabin near the stables?’ she said. ‘I went to get something from the house and saw Cameron heading to his car.’
‘Did he say anything?’ Nathan asked.
‘Only that he was on his way to meet Bob – sorry, sorry, Bub – at Lehmann’s Hill. I asked if they were both still planning to stay out overnight, so I didn’t need to worry about them for dinner. He said yes, and they would be back the next day.’
‘And how did he seem?’ Nathan asked.
‘I didn’t really know him that well.’
‘You can say what you think, though.’
She was still picking at her nails. Simon noticed and put his hand on hers.
‘Honestly,’ Katy said finally. ‘He seemed quite agitated. And he was keen to get going, like he had something to do that he wanted to get out of the way. I assumed it was the Lehmann’s Hill trip, though.’
‘Did he say he didn’t want to go?’
‘No, nothing like that. Not to me at least. He got in his car and headed off and that’s when –’ Katy looked over at Ilse, attempting to pass the narrative along.
Ilse, who was sitting very still, did not take it up.
Nathan turned to her. ‘You saw Cam too?’
‘Yes,’ she said at last. ‘I was further along the driveway, bringing in one of the horses. He had to go past me to leave.’
‘Did he stop and talk?’ Bub said. He had stopped eating and started paying attention since Lehmann’s Hill was mentioned, Nathan realised.
‘Of course he did. He’s my husband.’ Ilse snapped. She took a breath. ‘Sorry, Bub.’
‘No worries. What did he say?’
Ilse’s face tightened. Nathan could understand she might be reluctant to share her final personal exchange with her husband with the group but he was as keen to know as anybody.
‘He said he would see me when he got back.’
‘That’s it?’ Bub said. ‘And what did you say?’
‘To drive safe and I would see him then.’
‘Oh.’ Bub looked disappointed and Ilse’s eyes were suddenly hard and shiny.
‘Well, I’m sorry, but what did you expect? I didn’t know –’ She fished a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose.
