That was probably true, Nathan thought. Cameron had a reputation for being a good boss.
‘I hadn’t actually realised at first that you still lived so close to town yourself, Nathan,’ Simon was saying.
‘Not that close, nearly three hours away.’
‘Yeah, relatively speaking, though. I’d got the impression you’d moved further away.’
‘Nope.’
Katy had looked up now as well, and both she and Simon were watching Nathan with curiosity. He wondered what else people had been saying in town while they were singing Cam’s praises. Although he didn’t need to wonder, really. He could guess. The atmosphere had grown awkward but Nathan did nothing to displace it. He simply stared back, impassive, until Simon dropped his eyes. The backpacker turned to Xander.
‘You live with your dad?’
‘No,’ Xander said. ‘I go to school in Brisbane.’
The eternal diplomat, Nathan thought, with a rush of something both sharp and sweet. Seven words that glossed over a decade-long tug of war between him, his ex-wife Jacqui and, now, her new husband as well. Fractious phone calls, lawyers’ letters, court orders, visitation schedules and always,always,the legal bills. Xander flashed a half-smile at Nathan as though he knew what he was thinking.
‘Will you go into property management as well, do you think?’ Simon asked.
‘Oh. No. I don’t think so. It’s not really –’ Xander saw Nathan, Bub and Harry all watching him and he hesitated. ‘I want to go to uni. I’m not too sure after that.’
He looked a little embarrassed but was saved by movement at the kitchen door. They all looked up. In the doorway stood Cameron’s wife, turned freshly made widow. Ilse had one hand on the doorjamb and an unsteady air about her. Her light brown hair was unbrushed and had been pulled back hastily with an elastic band. Her face was flushed and shiny and it was clear she’d been crying.
Nathan didn’t sit up in his chair. He didn’t straighten his shoulders or run a hand through his hair or neaten his shirt. The urge was so instinctive, he found it a little uncomfortable to resist, like holding his breath. But still he didn’t move. He just sat there, pushing back against involuntary reactions. Eventually, he counted to three and allowed himself to raise his eyes and glance at Ilse, just once.
She wasn’t even looking at him.
Chapter 7
Ilse hovered in the doorway, looking very much like she wanted to turn and leave.
‘Come and sit down.’ Harry beckoned to her and she took a few steps in. ‘Are the girls coming?’
‘They’re asleep. Lo’s in Liz’s room. She wouldn’t settle in her own.’
Katy stood up. ‘I’ll get you something to eat.’
‘It’s fine. I’m not –’ Ilse started, but Katy had already placed a plate in front of the remaining vacant spot next to Nathan.
The hesitation was so brief Nathan could almost tell himself he imagined it, then he felt the cotton of Ilse’s shirt brush against his arm and heard the soft creak of the chair as she sat down beside him.
‘Nice to see you, Nathan.’
‘You too.’
He could still remember the first time he’d seen Ilse standing in this kitchen. It was nine years ago and only the fifth time he’d seen her at all. He had walked in and seen someone standing alone at the sink, re-filling a water jug. Nathan had registered her dress, her light brown hair, and the curve of her back before he fully realised who he was looking at.
She had turned and they’d both stopped and stood there wordlessly, each as surprised as the other. Nathan had taken a breath to say – what? To this day, he didn’t know – when Cameron had swept into the room and up to Ilse. He’d put his palm against the small of her back and gently moved a stray strand of hair before kissing her cheek. Nathan had made his lungs release the air and, with effort, shut his mouth. Later, Ilse had caught him alone in the hall.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here,’ she’d said.
No shit, he’d thought.Same here. ‘Well, Cameron’s my brother,’ he said out loud.
‘I didn’t know that when I met him. I’m sorry.’
But she hadn’t looked sorry, she’d looked happy. Ilse did not look happy now.
‘How are the girls, Ilse?’ Harry asked.
