In a way, she felt like a piece of artwork herself, certainly after all the fussing and primping she’d done. She felt beautiful. And based on Josh’s gaze the moment she stepped foot into the gala, she assumed he thought so, too.
He’d been deep in conversation with one of his sommelier friends, but the moment his eyes lifted and met hers, his mouth slipped into an open gape.
He touched his friend’s elbow to excuse himself.
“Edie,” he murmured. “You look stunning.” His lips pressed to her cheek.
“So do you.” She waved her hand over his tuxedo that looked like it had been designed just for him.
Josh wasn’t shy about admiring her. His eyes lingered, conveying his appreciation. “I mean, you’re always beautiful. But…but I just wasn’t prepared for this.”
The way he stuttered over his words was endearing and sweet. “Given the occasion, I can clean up pretty well.”
Truthfully, though, she rarely had an occasion. The last time she remembered getting all dolled up like this was on her wedding day. And oh, how she’d felt so beautiful then. Inside and out and all over.
Goodness, she didn’t need the melancholy inevitably paired with those bittersweet memories right now, but it couldn’t be avoided. Her mouth pressed into a flat line. “I’m sorry. Excuse me for a minute. I’m going to take a moment outside.” She motioned toward the entrance near her back. The need for air was suddenly overwhelming.
“Of course. I’ll find you later.”
Edie pushed through the door, both hands shoving against the frame. That dependable salty air cocooned her instantly in its misty embrace. Sure, it would make a mess of her naturally curly hair that she’d taken forever to style, but she didn’t care at this point. She needed space to breathe.
Across the parking lot, there was a split-rail fence right where the asphalt met the sand. Faster than she should probably attempt to walk in high heels, she rushed toward it, hooking her arms on the rough, wooden top slat to brace herself as she heaved for a big breath.
It wasn’t a panic attack. She’d had several of those in the year following Evan’s death. But she felt on the verge of losing it. Losing her composure. Losing track of her thoughts. It wasn’t that she needed space from Josh. That wasn’t the problem. She just needed to rally her breath.
This gala had been a massive undertaking. Maybe it was the lead up to it that had her bunched up in knots. Maybe it was nerves over the uncertainty of how it all would go. Maybe it was some combination of it all.
But when she heard footsteps behind her, even as the booming crash of waves continued along the shore, she knew.
“Cal?” She turned on her heel too quickly. The stiletto caught on a piece of gravel, knocking her off-kilter and into his arms just before she could fall over completely.
“Whoa there.” He grabbed ahold of her arms. “Hey. You good?”
Was it okay that she loved the feel of his strong hands on her biceps, holding her steady? Loved the look of concern in his eyes, like his thoughts could focus no other place but on her. There was so much she loved about Cal, to the point that she even wondered if she might beinlove with him. Was that how it worked? You loved enough individual things about someone that it ultimately added up to being in love?
“You wanted to talk to me?” She stepped back. The fence was the right height for her to lean against, so she propped herself against it for support, sensing she might need some.
“I did, but I was hoping to wait until later. Once things got underway with the gala.”
Because it wasn’t good news.
Edie could read that clearly.
But waiting until later would only make things worse. She needed to know what she was dealing with now, otherwise she would never be able to focus on the event. After all of the work they’d put in, she truly wanted to enjoy herself.
“I’d rather you just tell me now,” she said.
Even though he wore a tailored jacket, she could still see his chest rise with a large breath beneath the fabric. “I’m not sure if it’s best to bring this up right now.”
“I’m not sure if there’s really a perfect time to do this, Cal.” She shivered against the cold. She wasn’t even done shuddering, and he was already busy unbuttoning his jacket to slip it from his shoulders and place upon hers.
Edie didn’t want that. Of course, it helped ward off the chill, but if Cal was cutting things off, she certainly didn’t want to be wrapped up in his clothing, his familiar scent clinging to the collar and making her heady with needy memories.
“I—” he started, but she butted in immediately.
“I should have known better than to think this could ever work between us, Cal.”
His head drew back, eyes full of confusion. “What?”
