Maybe I shouldn’t have disrespected Josie, but a person couldn’t pay my drunk mind to think anything other than the fact that what wasn’t meant wouldn’t be.
If I couldn’t play ball, if Josie was mad at a nigga, if my mama chose to relapse. There wasn’t much I could do about any of that. My gaze shifted over to my mother. She was laughing and talking with Divine and my grandmother. I was glad that she at least got it together for the rehearsal. When it was time to leave, I walked out to my car trying to decipher which name on my roster I was going to fuck with for the night.
Josie’s shit was good. I’d never front, but I wasn’t sweating her ass. That shit wasn’t even in my DNA.
CHAPTER 11
JOSIE
I eyedmy nieces in awe. “Is it crack? Is that what you smoke?”
Serenity stopped running and looked at me with a straight face. “We’re not old enough to smoke, TT Josie. We’re on sugarrrrrrrrrrr!” She laughed, and I shook my head.
“Yeah, no more helping me bake then eating the treats for you three. Bedtime. Come on let’s go.”
I loved my nieces with everything in me, but they were my reminder to take birth control faithfully. I had accidentally got them hyped up on sugar and the three of them running around with the energy of crack heads at almost elven pm was the definition of insanity. I got the girls settled in the guest bedroom, and I went to clean the kitchen and have a glass of wine. Every time I babysat, I began to question if I really wanted to have kids of my own.
I was so used to coming and going as I pleased. Kids were a huge responsibility, and my sister had the nerve to carry three of them inside her body at once. Brion’s pregnancy had traumatized everyone that knew her personally that had a womb. Because what the hell? Once the dishwasher was loaded, I wiped the counters down, then leaned against the island whilesipping my wine. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the warmth that radiated through my chest.
My sister was about to get married to a pro football player. I could attend any game that I wanted with exceptional seats. People begged me every day to restock my website because they wanted cookies, brownies, cupcakes, or slices of cake. I promised everyone that I would open my website once a month for twelve hours. I couldn’t do more than that. I enjoyed baking and didn’t want it to turn into something that stressed me out.
I finished my wine then refilled the glass. Before I got in bed I wanted to curl up on the couch with a good book. I needed about thirty minutes to decompress before I took a shower and went to bed. My eyes had darted over at least a paragraph before I realized that I wasn’t comprehending one word. For some reason, at least twice a day my mind wandered to Huncho’s goofy ass. I knew he was too young for me to deal with, and his emotional ass showed it at the rehearsal. But for some reason, I kept thinking about him and everything he was going through when I really shouldn’t care.
It had been two days since I cursed him out, and I had no plans on ever having sex with him again. He was ignorant as hell and had a drinking problem. It should have been easy to put him on the block list and keep it moving. We had only had sex twice. All of that was easier said than done, however. When I got a notification on my phone that someone was approaching my door, I grabbed the phone for a closer look. With hiked brows, I watched as Huncho made a move to ring the doorbell. Too bad my thoughts couldn’t conjure up Damson Idris like that.
Gritting my teeth together, I set my glass of wine on the ottoman and stood to answer the door. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. The scent of Huncho’s cologne engulfed me, and I had to remind myself to keep my head in thegame. Not even the puppy dog expression he was giving me was going to make me change my mind about cutting him off.
“Showing up to my house unexpected isn’t cool,” I stated in a low tone filled with attitude.
“Damn, I can’t even step inside the living room and talk to you? You got company?”
“Yes, I do. My nieces. Why do you feel so entitled to my time or attention?”
“I fucked up, Josie.” Huncho’s voice wasn’t just filled with defeat. The look in his eyes matched. “I’m tired as hell. No matter how much I sleep I can’t get enough rest. I haven’t been smoking or drinking. Just sleeping. My neck is stiff. I just, fuck man. I don’t like feeling like this.”
I absolutely despised how much my defenses came down. My facial muscles relaxed a bit, and I eyed Huncho like I was looking for visible clues of what was going on. “You think you’re having a flare up?”
“I mean I guess. All this shit is new to me,” he mumbled. “You’re the only person that even knows I got this shit.”
“Have you been taking your medication?” I asked pushing out a deep sigh.
“Not really,” he mumbled, and I shook my head. “I’m gon’ start though. I promise. I just wanted to come talk to you. I don’t like the place we’re in.”
I didn’t respond. Looking off to the side I flexed my jaw muscles. I didn’t do back and forth, toxic and dysfunctional. Disagreements were normal even among friends, but I had seen firsthand how Huncho could act when he was drunk and in his feelings, and I didn’t like it. Huncho inched closer to me and invaded my personal space.
“I need you, Josie.” He kissed the corner of my mouth, and I shook my head.
“I don’t want to be needed, Huncho. Everybody needs somebody. I’m not selfish. I’m a good friend, but I’m not here to be your therapist, doctor, or punching bag. I can’t spend every day acting like your mother telling you to take your medicine and slow down on drinking. I can’t be the one you run to every time you need someone to stop you from drinking. We all have issues, and it’s on us to work on fixing them. I can’t think of entertaining you until you make some changes. I’ve worked too hard on my peace, and it’s not my job to save you. You have to come to me already healed, baby.”
Health issues weren’t the only issues that Huncho had. He had mommy issues as well. They were all issues he had before he met me, and they were issues that he needed to work out on his own. Huncho didn’t move. In fact, he kissed me again.
“Will you wait for me?” his voice was barely above a whisper, but I heard him.
“Would you wait for me?” I asked.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Josie. Since the first day you told me I was too young for you.” Huncho moved his mouth over and kissed my ear before speaking into it. “I swear I’m about to get right. Just tell me that if I don’t take too long a nigga still has a chance.”
Again, I didn’t respond. I felt like I was setting myself up to be disappointed if I promised Huncho that I would wait on him to get it together. I did like him though. I liked him way more than I ever thought I would, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up on getting to know him better. The sex was great, he had a job working for his brother, and he also had his own business endeavors in mind. Huncho was fine and shit, he was old enough to drink and vote. He had his own place. Nice car and no kids.
