I rush to Ereon as he kneels in a pool of his and Rhenor’s blood. I look for a patch of skin on his back to touch, to comfort, but I don’t see an area that’s not been marked. Instead, I put my fingers on his shoulder and he looks up at me. He fumbles to find purchase as he grapples for a spot on the wood to push himself up. Ereon stumbles once before I grab his arm and throw it around my shoulders. “I got you.”
He smiles at me before I turn him around and we begin to walk in the same direction as Thylas did.
“That’s what I say to you, you aren’t sup —” He hisses at the pain in his back. “You aren’t supposed to have to say it to me.”
“Ereon” — his father blocks our path — “where are you going?”
“King Atlas, my husband received all of his lashings with honor and without screaming. I would like to take him back to our room and treat the wounds so they don’t get infected.” I just want to leave, to get away from here.
“Married for less than a moon cycle and already she speaks for you?”
Ereon struggles but stands straighter. “No, Father.”
“Very well, because I need you to gather your wits. You’ve been gone for some time and there are many more that need punishment and it’s your job as the Prince to see that it is done. Just as it’s always been. The prisoners are already ready for you.” He nods his head to the left where a stairway leads to a group of twenty or more people ranging in ages of nine to one older than my father.
I cover my mouth with my palm. He isn’t expected to whip all of these people, is he? What could a child have done to receive such a punishment?
“Princess Carnaxa, as future Queen-consort you will watch as they receive their punishments so you can learn more about the kingdom that owns you. It was you who caused their fates. They were all caught stealing from the caravan that brought you here. The bastards were stealing from royalty. They are lucky the payment is only whippings and not death. It will even give them a small reprieve from the sun for a moment. Come now Ereon, I would like to have lunch before the sun is in the middle of the sky.”
Ereon’s legs wobble, but he seems used to having to ignore the pain I know he must feel. He removes his arm from my shoulders and peers down at me. His eyes search mine before his expression turns distant. “I’m sorry ...” His voice becomes flat as he closes his eyes and finds the words. “I had hoped you would have remembered who I was with you before you saw the monster I have to be.”
He walks slowly to the whip that lies on the ground in a pool of his blood. He leans down and picks it up, cleaning the handle on the back of his pants. He straightens and rolls his shoulders, his back still bright with ribbons of crimson. He clears his throat before he yells, “First prisoner.”
twenty-one
Ereon
Two rounds of lashings was not exactly how I thought my return to Shaston would go. But I’ll take more if it keeps that look of despair off the faces of those I’ve come to care for, especially Carnaxa. I know how much love is between her and her cousin. I didn’t think my father would try to whip Siphonie. The arrogance in his actions today concerns me, he has always thought he ruled the world, but to purposefully try to hurt aBêlitof Antalis — that’s bold even forhim.
I run the water down my back, trying to cleanse the stinging wounds. Carnaxa asked if she could help, but I can tell by the look she still bears that what she saw today stunned her. Not just what happened to me, no that invoked sympathy, but also because of the whippings I had to inflict on others. She saw the monster that I truly am. I didn’t want to do it any more than she wanted me to, but it’s better if the lashes came from my hand. The alternative isSacheAtaiun. I cause pain, but I don’t break the people. Their wounds will heal. Ataiun has no issue inflicting death, so I’ve made peace with my part in this already.
I pat dry my wounds as much as I can before walking back into the room where she stands staring at the sand-swept vista from the balcony. The sun barely peaks out from the horizon and the balcony is covered enough in shadows that she doesn’t have to worry about being burned. I can already feel the temperature dropping. Soon we will be able to see our breath. I reach out and grab a fur robe and place it on her shoulders. She startles, but doesn’t look at me.
“I want you to train me ... to fight.” Her words stop me.
“To fight?”
She nods her head. “Yes. I want you to train me in … something. I want to be able to defend myself.”
“And what weapon would you like?”
Carnaxa turns and looks up at me, surprise spread across her features. She thought I would deny her. I could never deny her anything. She could request the sun that blisters and I would turn to ash bringing it to her.
“I don’t know. I just ... I won’t be helpless anymore. There are too many things here that could cause me harm. ”
I want to reach out and touch her to help her feel more secure. But I still don’t know where she stands with what she saw today, so instead I rub my hand across my thigh.
“A staff then. Someone will underestimate you with that choice, but if you learn to use it well it will take down any opponent. I can help, but Anara —” I stop at her name. Guilt festering inside of me, I should find her. I need to find her, to see her, and hold her.
“The Princes’orur?That’s what the women who helped me prepare called her when she came in from your door.” She pulls the fur closer around her. “At the time I thought she might have been your sister, but now I realize how naive that was. Then the King mentioned she’s your whore, but she’s more than that. She’s your lover, isn’t she?”
I didn’t know Anara helped her prepare besides the few moments I saw her before theNle Shom. I was taking my father’s beating leading up to the ceremony and I assumed she stayed hidden in my room.
“She is. I —” I stop and turn her toward me, the cold air sweeping around us. “She’s the reason I wanted to bring you back to Shaston, my father … he held her here. He hurt her while I was gone. I thought you would be a means to a way to save her I didn’t expect —”
“That we would be twin drops? I didn’t either … I don’t think.” She moves away from my touch and makes her way into the bedroom. “Do you still want her in your life?”
“If I do?” I ask hesitantly. What would happen if she told me she wouldn’t accept Anara in my life? Could I choose?
