Neol gets inches from my face and sneers, “With pleasure.”
The last thing I note is his fist as it connects with my face, and I see stars.
thirty-one
THYLAS
Iflick a stick in the fire as I sit staring at the flames. She should have been back by now. The sun is starting to set, but she asked for space. I watched as Ereon came back from where she was and I knew she was safe or he wouldn't have left her. I don't want to admit it, but I know things are changing for him. I don't trust him, not at all, but if he kept the secret of her marks – it's not for my benefit. It's hers.
I run my hands through my hair, pulling it into a high knot on the top of my head. The clouds threaten rain once again and I don’t want to be walking around with damp hair. The soldiers are starting to settle down for the night and I can already tell some have found the ale and wine. The sparring matches will start soon, maybe I'll join them. I could use the physical exertion to let out some of my pent-up energy and frustration.
I stand up and wipe the back of my leather pants. I make my way toward where the ale is starting to flow when Ereon's voice comes booming from behind me.
“Captain!” He walks toward me, almost out of breath. “Where is she?”
I turn quickly and look at him, maybe he has changed his mind about keeping her secret. I palm my sword, I'm badly outnumbered but I would try anyway. “She's still in the woods.”
He looks around before walking that way, motioning me with his hand to follow him.
“What is the problem? She asked —” I catch up with him, our strides matching.
“We have missing men,” he chokes out, pushing past the branches in front of him, almost ripping them from the trees. “They aren't my men, not yet anyway. But they were from Lidiens.”
“Lidiens? Did you hire those who are banished to be a part of yourPrel? They were supposed to be headed back from whence they came. King Clennom has stated he will no longer take Lidiens' trash.”
“Shaston accepts everyone. We don't have as much of an inflated ego as your people.” I don't correct him because regardless of my birth, Antalis is my home. He stands in the middle of the clearing where Carnaxa was resting, turning circles.
She's not here. I run toward the tree I saw her under just a bit ago but there is nothing to show anyone, at any point, napped beneath its branches. No sign of her. I kneel down trying to find anything to clue us in as to where she could have gone.
“Maybe she's just ventured out. We don't know that your missing soldiers have anything to do with her not being here. She loves to walk around, you know this.”
He runs his hand through his hair and huffs loudly. “These particular men have a certain ... reputation.” Bending down, he picks up one of her bangles. A matching one to Siphonie's. He grabs one of his curved swords in his hand, holding tightly to the bangle. “They are rapists,” his words are a soft whisper as the air picks up around us.
“And you brought them along on a trip with Carnaxa! What in the Goddess’ name is wrong with you?” I try to keep my voice calm, but my heartbeat picks up and my fingers itch to swing at him. “She is a princess and your betrothed. How could you even feel comfortable knowing they were around her at all? Do you just not care for her safety?”
“Do not think I don't care for her,” his voice echoes through the glen. He lets out a slow breath, looking around. “Please, just help me find her.”
We scour for what feels like hours but I know it was only minutes, only finding the bangle. We thought that would be all, until Ereon caught sight of her pack and then I found her books a bit farther into the forest. Her belongings were leading us deeper into the woods. We quickly and quietly entered the wooded area at the same time the sky opened up and the rain began to fall heavily to the ground.
As we walk through the brush and thorns we have only one thing in mind. Finding her. Ereon curses under his breath as the thorns snag his pants, but he doesn't stop. And I respect that. He looks genuinely worried. My boots sludge through mud. Thelonger it takes for us to find her, the more my hope that we will starts to diminish. We should have noticed something was wrong before now, I should have noticed. I won't blame this on Ereon, not all of it anyway. It is my job, and once again I let my feelings get in the way. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want her to become the weakness that got in the way of my duties. And yet, here we are, traipsing through this gods-awful rain shower because I did.
I grab my sword from my hip, swiping at the vines that cover the path we've decided to walk. We have no idea if we are going in the right direction or not, but this is all we have for now. I can't imagine what is happening to her at the moment and I pray, again to the Goddess to save her. Keep her safe, I'll do anything to keep her safe.
“I know you love her,” Ereon's words are heavy as he barely turns around to glance at me. “And I know you were the one who put the marks on her neck in Midaeliea.”
I stumble over a limb I didn't see, but catch myself before falling completely on my face. I knew he knew I was the one to leave the marks but to say it so openly is something else. I want to choke, the rain falling in my face not helping my breathing.
Wiping the rain from my face, I respond earnestly, “I promise, I did nothing that she didn't want.” It comes off more boastful than I mean it to, but I don't want him to think I forced myself on her. I would never force myself on someone and would prefer that to be known now.
“I know.” He stops, grabbing a canteen at his hip. Taking a sip he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “And I know she loves you. But right now … I just want you to know, I understand what it's like to love someone you can't have.”
What is this? He is truly concerned for her, otherwise I don't see him wanting to have a bonding moment. Maybe it's because, regardless of titles, we are equal in our fear for her, and thatmatters. For once we aren't competitors, just two soldiers who want the best for our princess.
“But you can have her,” I say under my breath. The images I don't want filter through my head. I've tried often to forget that one day, her scent of vanilla and coconut will be mixed with his, he will taste her and she will be his.
He rolls his neck and puts the canteen back in his pack, before motioning for us to continue. The sun is setting and I know the time we have to find her is running out.
“Carnaxa. Yes, I can have her. But that's not who I'm talking about. Her name is Anara, and she's in Shaston – waiting for me.” I walk a little faster trying to catch up to him as he continues, “I couldn't save her, not when it really mattered, but I will save Carnaxa tonight. I've prayed to your goddess since we started this trip, if I have to give my life to save hers, I gladly will. My only request is that someone helps Anara too. I made her a promise years ago and I failed her. I don't want to fail Carnaxa too. But I know, at some point, I will.”
