We've been through this same conversation many times over. He is lost, has been lost, without my mother. She was his twin drop. She was everything to him.
The years after her death were dark. He swore the rainbow surrounding the sun no longer had color because she took it all with her toMohasha, our home after death. I remember the ring around the sun, illuminated by a multitude of colors, now it is a simple, bright-white ring. The color went out the day my mother died. That was the first sign something was wrong with Ashonera.
The myths have long told Antalis is special, blessed by the Goddess. She created Antalis, consisting of islands made up of concentric circles, two of water, and two of land with our castle in the middle on an island all its own. The canals open to the sea south of us, giving our ships access to the Great Sea for trade and also to let the water flow from the sea into our inlets. Before the end of magic, powerful creatures lurked beneath and were often there to help protect us. The Goddess created Antalisfirst before She created the rest of the world. The Goddess wanted companionship, people who would celebrate and love her, because she walked among them. She had been lonely for so long in the cosmos. She blessed the first Antalians with magic and life. A life free from ailments, and when the time of death is upon us, she gives us the gift of being called home, a sense of peace, of purpose fulfilled. We have never feared sickness of the body like those who live in other kingdoms.
If the stories are accurate, the ancient Antalians had power over water. They could create isolated rain storms, and some people could speak to the sea creatures of the Great Mother's oceans. Whispers of rare powers that could harness and manipulate ice or tame the waves of the sea are also written within legends of old.
My mother was the first Antalian to die from illness. According to the elders, when Antalians are called home, a sense of peace, and the Mother's voice whispering in your ear to ‘come home’ is what we have to look forward to. Those chosen to leave this realm simply walk toward the ocean's waves with a smile on their face. The deluc is what we are all afraid of now. After my mother's death, each moon, many others have come down with it as well.
The other kingdoms, on both continents, have their own myths; I never paid attention to the stories since I believed my life would forever be in Antalis. Obviously, I should have listened more to my tutor. The one thing I remember, however, is that the Goddess has always favored us.
I've asked my father multiple times why I couldn't rule alone and the answer is simple – because someone else will try to overthrow me. He's scared – all Antalians are – this is a time of the unknown. A time of change. We thought the deluc just affected my mother, until the oldest member of our kingdom became sick the next season. The deluc is gaining momentumand seems to be taking even the children. Father doesn't want me to be alone, he doesn't want the deluc to take me either and the Antalians to be left without a royal leader. If our royal line ends, our people would be left to the mercy of the Shastonians who would surely assume the throne. This is our safest option to try to keep some say in our kingdom.
“Will he punish Thylas?” I mumble, fidgeting my hands in the folds of my gauzy gown.
“No. He's in my kingdom and will obey my rules. However, whatever the problem is between you and Thylas, it needs to stop now. Did you think I didn't notice how close you once were and now you seem to be nothing but a hindrance to each other? If times were different, I would have considered a betrothal between the two of you for surely he would have asked by now. Since that is not the case, I need him to travel to Shaston with you. I need to know you will be safe. Shaston’s laws and culture are not like ours, Daughter, and you need to get ready for what will be expected of you. Your mother would have done better at preparing you.”
“My mother would have taught me to be exactly what she was: strong and authoritative. Mother would have wanted me to find my twin drop, not just agree to a marriage because of your politics. Mother would have never forced me to marry … ”
He cuts me off sharply, “Your mother would have also taught you to be smart and to do what needs to be done for your kingdom and your livelihood. She would have encouraged you to marry formypolitics, because if you don't, the rest of our people could suffer. A twin drop is not a guarantee anymore Carnaxa, you know that. We have to do what we must to survive.”
I try to take a deep breath but my mouth is dry and my tongue feels heavy. I don't want to fight him, so I relent, “Yes, Father.” My mother did her best to raise me to have a mind of my own, but through the years I’ve learned it’s easiest to agree and go on.Perhaps it was the loss of my mother, perhaps it was witnessing the cruel punishment Thylas received, or maybe it’s just the idea that even if I want to change things I can’t. I wish I had Siphonie’s resolve, she has my mother’s mindset. She’s strong and has no problem arguing for her beliefs, yet I will always be the one who strives to attain everyone else’s approval. To keep the peace.
“Carry on to your rooms for the night, and try not to give Ereon a reason to have a problem with Thylas or you, again. You know what happens to the women of Shaston if they don't behave. I don't want that to happen to you when you leave here. Please, Carnaxa.” His eyes look older than they used to. The wrinkles around his face and the worry lines surrounding his eyes are like a stab to the gut as he kisses my cheek.
A layer of sweat slicks my skin as I wake, confused and blinking, I try to find my bearings. I'm not one to usually dream, but when I do it's always nightmares. Sometimes they make sense, my mother's death and Thylas' whipping. The looks in their eyes haunts me. The look on his face as he took the pain, her eyes glossing over as death took her. Other times I dream of water and drowning or blood and war. Wars I've never seen, yet they torment me. Blood covers my hands in these terrible dreams and I scream, unable to escape them.
I slip my feet from beneath the covers as I run my hands through my matted, sleep-ridden hair. The candle has burnt out but there is still a sliver of moonlight filtering through the curtains, fighting with the rising sun. The steady wind moves the lacey curtains that separate me from my balcony. I yawn and run my hands across my face; it's much too early to be waking up.
I throw on my green silk robe that hits me at the middle of my thighs and walk toward my bookcase. Shadows dance from the slit under the door catching my attention and I stop moving. I tiptoe toward the door so that I can hopefully hear the ramblings of the guards or servants up at this hour. Guards and servants are always the best gossips. Salacious rumors surrounding the castle and the city, the comings and goings of people of note, and if you listen closely enough — you can learn about everything having to do with Antalis. The guards or those who serve in the castle often blend into the background well enough that many talk freely in front of them. The guard my father had positioned outside my door is new and young and I don't know his name but maybe he has interesting whispers to tell in the dark to whomever else may be out there.
I let my ear touch the cold door made from driftwood that’s found on the shore and soften my breaths to better hear. Boots softly clack against the marbled floors approaching my door.
“I'll take it from here,” Thylas says aptly. My throat suddenly goes dry at the sound of his deep voice and I lean further into the door. He was dismissed by my father, not expected to be seen until morning, a new guard sent as his replacement for the night. Why is he here now, and at this hour?
“King Clennom told me to guard Princess Carnaxa until the morning. I’ll finish my shift as instructed,” the guard answers apathetically. “Go enjoy the taverns, take a break with one of themæna.” The guard chuckles under his breath while he shuffles in his armor.
Thylas’ voice takes on a more serious tone, “First, I am your superior and you will address me as such. Second, King Clennom has had me stationed as her guard for many years, he won’t mind if I tell you to go. In fact, he might prefer it. Now as I stated, I’ll take it from here.”
I hear a quick mumble of, “Yes, Captain,” as the young guard retreats. A steady shadow underneath my door lets me know Thylas is in place and won’t be leaving. Thylas is the Captain of theKe Neye,the soldiers responsible for guarding the royals of Antalis, Thylas is my personal guard. I breathe a sigh, I always feel safe when he's at my back, or in this case, at my door. I know he'll protect me, regardless of the coldness between us.
I step away from the door and light a small candle that sits on the edge of the desk near the door. The wax has already dripped down its holder and I make a mental note to replace the candle soon. I again walk toward the small bookcase on the opposite wall, deciding to read before attempting to sleep again. I run my fingers along the spines of the leather bound books. Volumes filled with myths, legends and history line the bookcase and I would love nothing more than to get lost in a book. I breathe out deeply knowing reading would do nothing more than keep me awake. I pass over my favorite stories and instead pick up my most boring tome,The History of the Shaston Kingdom.This book was given to me by a tutor so I could, at the very least, learn about the history of the kingdom I’ll be residing in soon.I settle in an oversized, satin lounge chair and stretch out my legs, draping a blanket across me. I open the book and start on the first page.
“The Goddess didn't bless those of the Shaston Kingdom as she did those in the Kingdom of Antalis. The people of Shaston are cruel, warriors fashioned by blood and …”is all I am able to read before I find sleep once again.
three
THYLAS
Walking down the corridor I listen as King Clennom's door shuts with Carnaxa inside. Of course he would dismiss me, still seeing me as the young boy who came to this castle many moons ago. The small boy who did everything right until one night, I didn't. One decision made for the right reason in my eyes, not in his, and I'll forever wear the scars on my back. I run my hands through my hair, gathering half of it up and tying it behind me with a leather band. I walk out through the tall castledoors, nodding to the sentries. Making my way to the small village across the bridge on the front side of the castle, the night becomes brighter from torches marking the path. The center island of Antalis is for the royal family and those who work in the castle along with the training yard and barracks for the soldiers. The middle ring is where many Antalian subjects run their businesses. The marketplace is full of shops, along with common areas for worship and festivals. From the middle ring, another bridge leads to the outermost ring that connects to the mainland of the Northern Continent. If I need to meet with a tradesperson, I go to the outer ring. Always bustling, the fishing markets, stone masons, blacksmiths, tailors and other merchants have direct access to theShayi Yengoships. The land that meets the Midaeliea Kingdom border is home to the majority of our people if they don't live in homes connected to their shops here on the ringed islands. The castle sends weekly envoys with access to healers, priestesses, scholars, and anything else that they might require so the people don’t have to travel for necessities.
Carnaxa and I would often travel and explore the rings when we were children. Her father forbade her from leaving the inner island but she often ignored his commands. Even then, I knew I would forever protect her. She was the one who saved me the first night I washed ashore.
Regardless, her disregard to listen to reason is becoming overwhelmingly frustrating. The past couple of lunar years have been the worst, and now it seems more severe with the arrival of her betrothed. Disappearing from where she is supposed to be and leaving with Siphonie or sometimes by herself. This morning she said she was simply going to the gardens, so when I called for her and couldn't find her my temper flared. Shewaspermitted to go to the gardens alone since it’s still on castle grounds, but for obvious reasons, it is no longer allowed.
Carnaxa has always been one to push me, but this is not the time. Not with her marriage ceremony so close and not with Prince Ereon here. Ereon brought his men from the north, men who are trained and are as dangerous as anyone. Shaston still has to fight creatures at the edge of their kingdom, the frozen lands of the north. I always found it interesting how a kingdom as hot and barren as Shaston could also encompass land that is so cold. The last true battle was The Great War but that was over two hundred lunar years ago, my mother told me stories of the bloody battle. The people of that age wielded magic as well as they wielded a sword. A shiver skitters down my spine as I imagine a battle being fought in such a way.
The Shastonians care little for the small amount of strained peace we have. They would rather conquer us if they saw an ounce of weakness, which is in fact, starting to show. It was why King Clennom agreed to the betrothal of Prince Ereon and Princess Carnaxa. When Queen Iviloan died from the deluc, everything changed. Even the air felt different with the death of Queen Iviloan; I remember when she passed, the chill that seemed to sweep through the kingdom. Once sickness and disease were stories told to scare Antalian children. No longer were we the Goddess-blessed Antalis, we could succumb to sickness just as easily as any other from any of the other kingdoms.
