Thylas stands at my mother's door, he has already advanced in the rankings of the Shayi quickly. The Captain says that he thinks Thylas will become one of the greatest soldiers Antalis has ever seen, but all I see is my friend.
When I found him on the shores of the Great Sea, I immediately ran to get my mother and father. They took him in, and the rest is history. We've grown up together. However, in the last few months, he's changed. Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's his new position. We used to be inseparable, getting into trouble for stealing cheese and running around the rings at night. Now he is such a rule follower.
“Carnaxa,” my mother's weak voice breaks my thoughts. “Hunny, I need to tell you something,” she persists as she grabs my hand. My mother has been sick in a way the healers say they have never seen before.
“I'm going to go soon,” she coughs. Once full of life and curves, she's nothing but skin that clings to bone. Her skin was the same pale olive as mine, but now it is so pale her veins shine through. Her hand feels dry and cold when it was once full of warmth. Her eyes, however, remain just as they were, large and ever-watching.
“No, Mother.” I climb up into bed with her and hold onto her. “The healers will find a way to make you better.”
She kisses my hairline and pulls me in even closer, wrapping her arm around me. “I love being here with you and your father. But it's time to go. You have to know, I will always be watching over you. Don't forget that. Your destiny is only just beginning when my own ends, Naxa. The Goddess has plans for you, my dearest.”
“Are you getting the call from the Goddess? Will you walk into the sea?” As much as it would hurt to see her called, it would be better than her not receiving her summons at all. This type of death is unheard of. She calls us and we walk toward Her embrace; our smile is the last thing seen before the waves take us to the Mother. But I'm not ready for her to leave. Maybe I can ask the Goddess to let her stay, maybe She would make an exception for her.
“No, Naxa.” She coughs again and holds me tighter. “The Goddess won't call me home. She can't.”
I feel wetness at the top of my forehead and I know she is crying. Thylas stands and turns, giving us privacy. I can't imagine a world without my mother. She was, still is, in my mind, so beautiful and kind. Her blue hair is so pale now, it looks like ice.
I hope to have a love like her and Father someday. They love each other so much. I love hearing stories of the two of them. Who will tell me stories if she goes?
“I love you, my gift,” her voice barely above a whisper.
Her breath starts to become more rapid and I sit up, her eyes ... they look different, and then she shuts them. “Mother?”
“Ata?” I revert back to what I called her as a child, panic rising, as I shake her.
“Ata!”
“Mother! Wake up!”
I don't feel her breathe beneath me anymore. Thylas runs to my side, trying to pull me off of her while yelling for the guards and the healers. I grab Mother's hands tightly with one of my own and fight Thylas' grip around my waist with the other. “NO! Mother! Let me go, Thylas!”
He pulls me away just as the healers come running into the room, their light-grey robes twisting around them as they do. “We need Princess Carnaxa to leave so we can take care of the Queen.” Their faces are grim, the one beside the bed already shaking her head toward the one speaking.
Thylas grabs me around my waist again and picks me up, turning me so my face fits into the side of his neck. “Shh ...” is all he says as he pulls me against him, rubbing the back of my head.
He carries me into my chambers just down the hall. He takes my anger and sadness the whole time. Letting me scream, cry, and hit him as I try to get back to my mother. When it seems like hours have passed, I sit on my bed and Thylas guards the door from inside.
“You're ...” I'm sniffling, and my throat is raw from screaming. “You're supposed to go get Father if something happens.”
He sits down on my bed, pulling me into him. He speaks as if he is praying while rocking me back and forth. “I'll get him later, I'm not leaving you.”
“What am I supposed to do Thylas? Without her? How will I know how to be a queen? Father is the King, he can't take care of a daughter, he can't always be here for me when he needs to be available for the kingdom. What will happen to me now? How will I have safety from all the things I don't know?”
Thylas kisses the top of my head, letting my tears dampen his tunic. “Me. I'll be your safety. I'll always be here for you. I'm not a king and I don't know what life may bring, but I'll be your safety.”
We sit that way for the rest of the night until I finally fall asleep, exhausted from the screaming, and wake to the sounds of my father yelling.
Present
“So spill it, did you find yourself with company last night?” Siphonie interrogates as she sits across from me. Her pale-pink hair hangs loosely against her shoulders. Her sky-blue, linen dress cascades to the floor. The neckline plunges to just above her navel and a beaded wrap of sorts, showcases her thin waist. She wears her bracelets that match mine, along with teardrop earrings adorning her petitie ears.
“Goddess, no. Do you ever think about anything else besides sex?” I have my feet up on the bench beside me. I’m thankful Rhenor decided to ride a horse beside Thylas today – said he couldn't handle the clucking of two women anymore.
“Well I do, yes. But I'm certainly more interested in why the two of you fight this. I've seen this play out since we were children. Why don't you both just accept it.”
“What would be the point, Siphonie?”
“It would help you know what it's like to actually be with a man for one, for two, when you get with a man you have less stress. It's proven by the priestesses and is one of the many reasons it’s encouraged for everyone.”
