“Where … where did you get this? It’s beautiful,” my voice quivers, my body still fighting all the emotions I’m feeling right now.
He lifts it carefully by the tip, pointing to the stone as he expounds, “This piece, I discovered the night you found me. I don’t remember much.” He looks away, licking his lips before returning his eyes to me. “But I remember, before exhaustion took me, I pulled myself up just barely on the shore, and I felt this stone. It was the first thing that made me realize I was truly on dry land. I held on to it. I don’t know why, not really, but I suppose it reminded me that even though all seems lost it’s not.”
He flips it over, catching the grip in his palm. “The dagger, well I just thought you might like one. So I had it made for you. Seems appropriate you have a way to keep yourself safe, in the event I’m not around. There is always a shark in the waters even if it can't be seen. I want you to be the shark.”
“It’s … thank you.” Taking the dagger from him, it hits me that this might be the last time I know true safety. I grab the dagger and place it delicately in my trunks.
He comes up behind me, his voice a sea of calm, “It’s time to go, Naxa.”
Turning toward him, I can only shake my head as the tears that wanted to be free escape down my cheeks. His hand presses to the back of my head. His scent of sage and sandalwood rushesover me and I want to stay here. Just like this. What could have happened in a perfect world? A world like my mother had, a world where I was free to choose. My mother was nothing more than a baker's assistant before my father found her. But they had freedom back then, to be able to choose.
He grasps my chin and turns my face to look up at him, his thumb wiping away the tears. His breath dances across my lips and I slowly stand on my toes, wanting the fireworks I felt the other night to come back for just a moment, wanting to forget what’s ahead of me.
"We can't do this, baby girl. Not now.” His eyes search mine and it’s as if all time stops. I push myself forward letting my lips take over where words can't. In this moment, I don't care what is right or what is wrong. I want the last memory of this room to be positive, to be breathtaking, to be overwhelming.
His hands find their way around my waist as he pulls me in closer, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip and I can't help the soft moan that escapes. I run my hands up his back, the cold of his armor beneath my fingers. He pulls back, out of breath and utters, “Naxa, we can't do this ... we have to go.”
I shake my head, tears still falling down my cheeks. “I don't know if I can.”
“You can, I know you can. But we can't do this.” He kisses my forehead. “If we are caught,Nohæthey will kill me. Would be within their right to kill you, especially once we leave your father’s kingdom. I won't let that happen to you because of me.” He steps back, adjusting his armor and sword at his side. I know he is right, I am not his betrothed. I am not his woman. I am Ereon's and if he was to find out ... I can't help but shudder at the thought of what would happen to Thylas.
“Okay, give me just a moment.” He wipes the tears from my cheek with his thumb. He hesitates, but takes a step back and then walks out the door, waiting for me on the other side.
I take one last look around my room, my home, and what I can see of my kingdom before I walk out the door closing this chapter of my life behind me.
Siphonie, Rhenor, and Mira wait next to the carriage, at the bottom of the steps leading out of the castle, that will be my home for the next several moons before we reach the Doorway of Aka. The doorway is how many priestesses and scholars travel to Midaeliea. The total trip would take half a moon's cycle but with the doorway, it's simply a few steps.
Thylas stands behind me as we walk through the large marbled doors. Ereon stands beside my father at the top of the stairs. This is it, this is the time to say goodbye. My father looks at me as my hands begin to shake. I can feel the hives already making their way up my chest as I try to remember my breathing and keep myself from breaking again.
“Daughter” – Father walks up to me, wrapping me in his arms and holding on for longer than normal, – “I know this isn't what you wanted, but I am proud of you.”
I lean back and he keeps my hand in his; I realize this could be the last time I ever see my own father. I make a mental image of him as he looks now, his wrinkles and white hair, his kind eyes, and the way he doesn't stand as tall as he once did. I want to remember everything.
“Always remember that your mother is still in your heart. She never walked into the Goddess’ embrace, so I truly think she still lives among us. She would be proud of you too.”
I kiss his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He grips my hand as he looks to Ereon who stands in his Shastonian gear of his kingdom’s colors, black and silverpredominantly displayed. He wears his hair down, it lightly blows in the wind. His double, crescent moon-shaped blades are attached to his back. He runs his hand down his freshly trimmed beard before reaching out to me. I take his hand, unnerved at the coolness I feel.
“Today we start our new life, Princess Carnaxa.” He nods toward my father and we walk toward the blue and gold carriage with the Antalian sigil engraved on the side. The crescent moon holding a trident above. The moon represents the Great Goddess and my family’s symbol is the trident. It’s a reminder that She will always protect us. I take a deep breath and lift my gown so I can step into the carriage. Ereon kisses my hand and my eyes immediately dart to Thylas who now stands beside Siphonie and Rhenor. He shuffles his feet and I can feel the heat from his glare on where Ereon's lips lingered. Siphonie catches my gaze and subtly tilts her head toward the carriage and softly nudges Thylas to call his attention to hers. Ereon breaks away and opens the door, helping me inside.
I slide onto the silk seat and scoot all the way to the other side, waiting for Siphonie who will be joining me. I look outside at the people gathered on either side of the cobblestone road as they wait to catch their last glimpse of the last Princess of Antalis. Mira tries to smile, but sadness touches the wrinkles around her eyes. I realize how much I'll miss her, she has become like a mother to me after my mother's death.
My mother once made this trip but it was the reverse — the people lined the streets to watch a baker's assistant become the Queen of Antalis. Now instead ofhayæflowers lining the streets showing their joy, the villagers havepasaflowers to symbolize their sadness. Siphonie slides in beside me and Rhenor, who I'm sure will eventually leave us to ride a horse later, gets in across from us.
We've all dressed today in the colors of our kingdom. Rhenor wears his silver tunic embellished with dark blue, while Siphonie's dress is dark blue with silver embellishments. Her dress is similar to mine in the fashion of the crop tops with billowing skirts that hit us right at the ankles.
I wonder if I'll have to stop wearing them now that I am leaving. Thylas stands just outside Siphonie's window, his hair pulled tight. His armor glistens in the sunlight and quickly he looks toward me and then proceeds to retreat to his horse that will be his ride for the evening.
I see my father standing proud at the top of the stairs before I hear Ereon yell at our entourage and the carriage begins to jostle forward. Making our way down the grey cobblestone streets from ring to ring of my home, I see many children I will never get to see grow. I watch as the villagers lay down their flowers on the road as we pass.
It's then that I notice Ilis and her daughter Vailles, standing beside each other. Ilis smiles at me and motions with her hands like she is putting something on over her shoulders. I nod my head toward her to indicate that I did indeed pack it. She smiles wider and lifts her hands above her head, like a priestess in honor of the Great Mother above us. My face flushes and I can feel prickles behind my eyes as I try to hold back tears. I won't let them see me cry, I won't let them worry. For this is a time of unknown for all of us, and as my mother once was, I will be strong for them.
sixteen
EREON
