I absolutely hate hospitals.
I look away from the hockey game on the TV and stare at Ellie nodding off in the chair next to my bed. “Hey,” I say, trying to get her attention. “El.”
She stirs, lifting her head, blinking rapidly. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” I say, nodding my head. “The nurse was just in and said they had a trauma come in, so it might be another hour or two until I get discharged.”
Surprisingly, everything moved quickly in the two hours we’ve been here. I was accelerated through triage since it was cardiac related, and they did immediate testing. Thankfully, they determined it was nothing serious and the symptoms were stemming from something called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome or POTS for short.
Apparently, it causes all the symptoms I’ve been feeling, not just today, but normally when I don’t feel right. It mainly has to do with blood flow and transitioning from different positions, although it can occur just with standing and activity sometimes.
There’s no cure, but they gave me fluids and some medicine to help me tonight. I have a follow up with my cardiologist and strict orders to increase my water and salt intake, along with medication just in case.
“It’s almost ten o’clock. You can go home, and I’ll just order a car whenever they let me go.”
“No way.” Ellie makes a face and shakes her head. “I’m not leaving you here alone.”
“I promise I’ll be okay.”
She purses her lips. “The only way I’d leave you is if Matty were here and,” she pauses, her eyes flicking to the TV. “Looks like he’s a little busy.”
I look at the screen, sucking in a deep breath, with my phone burning in my hand. It’s the second intermission and I’m still waiting until the game is over to say anything to him. The first and second period were a lot longer than normal with a lot of penalty calls and reviews.
Matteo’s been battling with one player in particular on the other team… Aiden Scott.
“Did you tell him you’re here?”
“No,” I look back at her, shaking my head. “The last thing I want is for him to worry or be preoccupied.”
“Good point,” she says, nodding her head. “Text him when the third period starts, that way he knows when the game’s over.”
I stare at her. “It’s not anything serious. I’ll tell him tomorrow or something.”
“Why? Why are you so resistant to letting him in?” Her eyebrows tug together. “I know you have reservations and you’re afraid he’ll hurt you, but give the guy a damn chance, Jade.”
Her words hit me in the chest. I’ve talked to her about everything, and this is the first time she’s coming at me with tough love.
“Are you in love with him, Jade?”
“I—”Shit.“Yes.”
Oh my god. My stomach flutters. I can’t believe I just admitted it outloud, but now that the words are out, there’s a lightness that spreads through my chest.
There’s no sense in lying. Not to her. Not to myself… and not to Matteo.
“Then you need to tell him. Life is too short, stop wasting it. If anything, coming to the hospital tonight should have showedyou that.” She stares at me, hard. “What if it were something serious tonight? What if it were the worst case scenario? Matteo would have never known that your stubborn ass feels the same way about him.”
I’m at a loss for words for a second. “It’s not that simple.”
“Says who?” She shakes her head. “You have a chance at something real with someone who loves you. He’s not an Aiden Scott. I don’t even know him that well, but it’s obvious. Everyone else is invisible to that man except for you.”
I swallow hard over the lump lodged in my throat. She’s right. I’ve let my fear and stubbornness get in the way. I’ve been quietly holding Matteo’s past against him, thinking he would end up being just like my ex.
When in reality… he’s nothing like Aiden.
Aiden never looked at me the way this man does. He never did half the things Matteo does for me. He never made me feel anything close to what Matteo Ford does.
“Stop overthinking it and just jump. You’re the only one holding yourself back and you don’t want to lose a good thing like what you have with him.”
