PROLOGUE
ELLA
THREE YEARS AGO
“No, no, no.”
My hands shake and I stare down at the two pink lines glaring back at me.
This can’t be real. Life must have mixed my cards up with someone else’s. We buried my parents a few hours ago and I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen, but here I am facing the one thing I’ve tried to prevent. My worst fear. The cruelest of jokes.
I’m pregnant by a man who doesn’t love me.
A man who could never love anyone more than he loves himself.
“What does it say, El?” My best friend Remi’s voice comes from the other side of the door.
My mind shifts into overdrive, running wild with a million possibilities. The man I’m married to isn’t the man I fell in love with and we’re already on the brink of a separation. The timing of a child could not be worse and now, here I am, pregnant with his child.
“Oh my gosh, Remi.”
The test falls from my fingers in a rush, clattering on the floor as I bury my face in my hands. The tears fall from my eyes without any warning and my body begins to shake as my sobs fill the bathroom. He’s gone on another business trip for the weekend. My period has been late for a week now, but I waited until he was gone since I was already fearing the worst.
And this is it.
“Oh, El,” Remi murmurs softly, remorse hanging in her voice as she slips into the bathroom. She comes over and wraps her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay. It’s not the end of the world. There are always options, you know?”
A shiver ripples down my spine and my stomach feels empty. Fear floods me, dripping into my veins. I know immediately in my heart, I can’t get an abortion. It may be the right solution for some people, but I don’t think I would ever be able to forgive myself for it.
“I can’t do that, Remi. It’s not the baby’s fault. It didn’t ask for any of this.”
She’s silent for a moment. “Okay.” She lets out a breath. “We will figure this out.”
“I have to leave him now,” I half whisper the words, the decision weighing heavily on my chest. “I can’t stay in a failing, loveless marriage just because I’m pregnant with his child.”
“I agree with you,” she says, her voice a soft embrace as we break apart. Her hands cup the sides of my face and she swipes the tears away. “You know how I feel about Jacob and the things he has done. You deserve better, Ella.”
I swallow roughly, holding back my emotion. “I know I do.”
Collecting myself, I rise to my feet, moving away from her as I brush the tears away from my face in a haste. My heart pounds erratically in my chest, the panic settling inside as my flight instincts begin to consume me.
I had already planned on moving out when the timing was right, although I didn’t anticipate it happening like this. Jacob has been trying to convince me to stay, even though he’s the one who’s had a foot out the door for years. He didn’t fly back to Silverspur Springs with me for my parents’ service. He insisted that his work trip was more important, which gives me the perfect opportunity.
Lifting my hand to my stomach, I flatten my palm over my belly button.
This is mine. The only thing that is mine.
“What’s the plan, El?” Remi says, her voice breaking through my thoughts. “Do you want to come home with me?”
“No, I’ll be okay,” I say in a rush, shaking my head. “I’m flying home tomorrow, but Jacob won’t be back for a few days. That gives me enough time to file the divorce papers, pack my things, and return here.”
Remi’s eyes are soft as they slowly search mine. “How can I help?”
“I don’t know yet,” I say, my voice cracking around the words. “But I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
I glance down at my ring finger, sadness encapsulating me as I stare at the symbolism of the commitment I made to Jacob Evans. I met Jacob two years ago, right after I turned eighteen. He was charismatic and handsome and I was captivated by him when I ran into him at a bar one night. He was passing through town on a business trip and I didn’t hesitate when he asked me to dinner.
Three months later, I flew out of the only town I had ever known with nothing more than a suitcase filled with my belongings. I moved in with Jacob on a whim and a hope. A dream of being with someone who valued me for me. I didn’t know at the time how wrong I could be. I chose to leave with Jacob instead of staying with the friends and family I knew.
