“Welcome back,” Bianca says, and she smiles at me like she’s genuinely happy to see me.
We never did talk about our night together.When I woke up, she wasn’t there, and the note on the pillow beside me said something about having to head into work and that we should keep this to ourselves and be professional.No harm done.I don’t remember the exact words, but I remember “no harm done” because it was weird.And then four days later, I was in a hospital bed with my career in the dumpster, so I never did follow up with her about that.
“Thanks.Feels like home,” I say, and it kind of does.“I mean, it’s familiar but also weird.”
“So you’ve really made the most of your second chance, haven’t you?”Andrew asks as I come to stand right in front of the Riptide logo pop-up that Kendra set up.
I blink because Andrew has this ring light contraption attached to his phone, and he just turned it on, and it’s blinding.“I’m trying to.I realize what a gamble I am to the league now, no pun intended.”I smile, but no one laughs.Okay.I clear my throat.“I really appreciate the Riptide giving me this shot, and I’m trying to make sure they never regret it.”
“Must have been humbling to take such a big pay cut and be dropped by a Cup-contending team.”He sounds very smug making that statement.What kind of dick revels in my near-death experience?
I steady my expression not to show any emotion because he clearly wants that.“It would have been humbling if I thought highly of myself, but I definitely don’t.I have no one to blame for my career struggles but me.”
“So you’re saying alcoholism isn’t a disease out of people’s control.It was a choice?”Andrew’s question is more of a statement, and I don’t like it.
“No.I’m not saying that at all,” I snap and then pause to redirect this conversation and rein in the fury building in my chest.“I’m saying I don’t think I ever thought I was the big deal you think I think I am.”
Wow.I just took something confusing and made it even more so.Go me.I shake my head.“I’ll just say I don’t play hockey for the money.I never have.So I’m just happy to be able to do it again.And also, last time I checked, if the playoffs started tomorrow, we’d be second in our division.Vegas would have just missed them.So I’d say I’m still on a Cup-contending team.”
Andrew’s lips press together, and then he says, “Lucky for Vegas, they don’t start tomorrow.”
“Yeah.Really lucky for them and the Riptide,” I reply.“We have time to clinch the division.”
Jennifer takes over the questions, and she’s much less harsh.Unlike Andrew, she isn’t trying to get a controversial sound bite.She just wants to know how I’m doing, if it was hard to leave the Vipers, and how I’m feeling.When they’re done, I try to rush off, but Bianca stops me.Well, she doesn’t stop me, but her presence does.I feel like we have air to clear.
Once Andrew and Jennifer leave, I rub the back of my neck and clear my throat.Bianca looks up from where she’s got her nose to her phone.“I… feel like I owe you some kind of apology.”
“Not really,” she replies, her face softening into a smile.“It’s water under the bridge.”
“Umm… okay… can I ask, like a total asshole… what, exactly, is under the bridge?”I squeak out and can feel the heat of humiliation burn its way up the back of my neck.
She laughs, which is a good sign, I think, because it’s not bitter.She reaches over and squeezes my shoulder.“I knew you didn’t remember.I mean, at first I was furious and embarrassed, but as soon as you fell off that roof, I knew it wasn’t about me.”
I stare at her and hope she tells me more.Her smile softens, and she lets go of my shoulder.
“We hooked up after that charity event last year, right?”
“No,” she says firmly.“I mean, I took you home with that intention.And it started off that way.But… we never did the deed.”
She whispers that last part, and her eyes dart around, and she lowers her voice even more.“You passed out before we could get the real show on the road.Like dead, coma-nap, unconscious.One minute you were kissing my…” She waves her hand in front of her chest.“With your fingers in my….”Her eyebrows raise, and her eyes shift to look down before finding mine again.“And I was giving you a very fine hand job if I do say so myself, but then suddenly… snoring.”
I know I probably look sunburned, I’m so red.My eyes are wide, and I have to fight to keep them on her because I want to look away.I also want to run away.I don’t think I’ve ever been so fucking embarrassed.“Wow.I am… I don’t think sorry even begins to cover it.I’m a fucking moron.I am so sorry.I can’t… I mean, looking back, I guess Icanbelieve it.I was completely out of control.”
“I know.And it’s fine.”She smiles reassuringly.“I would never hold that against you.I’m happy to see you are definitely different now.I mean, I’ve been watching your season, a little bit, and I can tell on the ice and in interviews.You’re really in a different place.”
“Yeah.Stone cold sober and no more passing out.”
She grins.“Well, thank Christ for that.The women of Portland, Maine, don’t deserve to experience that other Theo.”
She laughs, and I try to join her.I’m still trying not to drown in humiliation, so laughing doesn’t come easy.I point toward the locker room.“I should…”
“Yeah.Nice seeing you and glad we cleared the air.”
“Me too and again… I am so freaking sorry.”
“Me too.I bet it would have been fun.”She winks and walks off in the direction of the Vipers’ locker room.
Chapter24
