I just nod. I know I have a passive, unaffected look on my face because if he saw how upset I was, it wouldn’t help anything. He has to go back to his wife. I won’t be a home wrecker, and besides, she’s what he needs. She’s a better fit.
“I want a woman who is strong, capable, independent and fiercely passionate—not just about me but about life and everyone she loves,” he says in that same dark, deadly tone. “That’s not Ashleigh.”
“It was. It can be again.”
“Shut up!” he barks and I bristle. He takes a deep, heavy breath and continues. “But I also want a woman who is fearless and trusts me and is confident in her love for me and my love for her. And that’s not you.”
He turns and walks out of the apartment as Jessie rushes back in. She calls out to him but he ignores her and continues down the stairs. She turns to me, her green eyes wide. “What the hell just happened?”
“Nothing,” I croak. “Let’s go. I don’t want to miss the train.”
I lug my suitcase down the stairs, still reeling from his words. As we exit the barn Devin’s borrowed car is just turning onto the road and Jordan is standing on the porch glaring at me.
“I don’t know what your plans are this summer, but if you’re coming back to Silver Bay, you’ll have to find another place to live,” Jordan tells me in a deep, low, angry tone. “This is my house and you’re not welcome here anymore.”
Jessie erupts like a volcano. “You can’t do that, Jordan!”
“I’ll come for the wedding and stay at the motel in town,” I tell her and give her a quick hug. “I won’t miss it. I promise. It’s going to be the best day of your life.”
I mean that with all my heart. No matter how much Jordan hates me right now, he loves Jessie in a way that terrifies the crap out of me. When you look at him looking at her, he looks like he couldn’t live without her. Like she literally supplies the light and air and warmth he needs to live. The look in Devin’s eyes last night as we made love against the wall of the guest bedroom was almost that exact same look.Almost.
“I’m not going to marry him if you aren’t here all summer to help me,” Jessie announces in a shaky whisper as a tear trickles down her pale, freckleless cheek. “I won’t do it. Not without you.”
“What?!” Jordan bellows in shock.
She turns on him with heartbreak plastered all over her face. “I love you, Jordan. But she’s my sister. My only family! If you keep her from me, then I can’t…”
“He’s my brother! She fucking destroyed him today!” Jordan yells back.
“Ashleigh did that! Ashleigh isstilldoing that!” Jessie yells back.
“STOP!” I scream.
Everyone turns to me.
“Jessie, you’re going to marry Jordan. Jordan, you have every right to hate me,” I tell them all in a firm but distressed tone as I straighten my shoulders, trying to look calm, sure and in control, and everything I am not. “Devinwillget over this and hewillbe fine. I promise you that. In the end, we’ll both be better off.”
Jordan takes a step toward me, shaking his head. His blue eyes have gone from menacing to disheartened. “It’s ridiculous that I ever thought of you as someone I respected. You’re a sad, selfish mess who is letting her own stupid insecurities ruin my brother’s happiness. You should be pitied, not admired.”
“Jordan!”
He ignores Jessie’s indignant cry and just turns and storms back into the house. I grab Jessie’s shoulders and force her to look at me. “You are going to marry that boy. Don’t you dare let my mistakes fuck this up, do you hear me?”
“I can’t believe he would be so cruel!” Jessie whispers.
“He’s angry for Devin. He’s a good brother,” I tell her honestly. “It’s amazing because it shows he loves Devin just as much as Luc and Cole, which means all that rivalry and tension we see between them means nothing after all. This is a great thing, Jessie. Please just cut him some slack on this. Let him hate me.”
She takes a deep, ragged breath and runs her hands through her perfect auburn hair. Our eyes lock and she tears up instantly again. The look of pain on her face makes me hold back my own tears. I never cry when my sisters cry. It’s been like that since we were little. When they lose it I need to hold it together. Be their rock. Get them through it; even when it is killing me as much as them, I can’t let them see it.
“Let me leave so I don’t ruin your Christmas completely,” I say as I pull my cell out of my pocket and shakily dial the number for the one cab company in Silver Bay.
I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
Chapter 52
Devin
The doorbell rings just as I’m packing the rest of Conner’s stuff into his little suitcase. I hurry down the stairs with Conner right behind me and open the door. Ashleigh is standing there smiling. For the first time in a long time she’s got some color back in her cheeks. She’s got on lip gloss and tight skinny jeans under a new white parka with faux fur trim. She looks pretty.
