“Okay,” I nod. I move my eyes back to hers. “Do you wish it was Jake’s?”
“Hell yes,” Aspen says flatly. “He would have been a solid parent.”
Tiny little snowflakes start to slowly drop from the sky all around us. I stand up too. “We should go before my new kidney and your baby become popsicles.”
“Good idea. See, you aren’t a complete idiot,” Aspen winks. I roll my eyes at her but I’m smiling. As we walk the rickety board walk, now a little bit slick in spots from the condensation turn icy, we both reach for each other’s arms at the same time.
“Ronan Green,” Aspen whispers it so softly it takes me a second to register it. My step falters and I stare at her.
“Ronan, engaged-to-be-married Green?” I whisper back and she nods. Her eyes are sad, and I realize instantly she has feelings for him. “Why won’t you tell him? Because of Courtney? They’re toxic. Everyone knows it. You might be doing him a favor.”
“Nellie Green as a grandmother? That’s not doing my baby any favors,” Aspen replies and she pulls me so we keep walking. “Anyway, Ronan knows I’m pregnant now like the whole town does, so the baby might be in my belly, but the ball is in his court.”
We take a few steps in silence and I watch her. She looks stressed and when she opens her mouth, I speak before she can. “I won’t tell a soul. Not Jake or anyone. I promise.”
She smiles gratefully. Our eyes connect again. “Do you remember your high school yearbook quote?” she asks me out of the blue.
“I know yours was ‘As you slide down the banister of life, remember me as a splinter up the ass.’” I reply.
“And yours was ‘I love you Jake Maverick so come and get me when you’re ready,’” Aspen says, and I burst out laughing.
“No it wasn’t, you asshole,” I’m laughing so hard it actually makes my incision ache so I try to stop. “Mine was, ‘Every day of your life is a second chance.’”
“Yeah, but looking back, it sure as hell feels like what I said fits too, huh?” Aspen says as we reach the sidewalk at the end of Winona Avenue. “Well, it could fit, if you let it.”
“Oh my God, keep this up and you’re going to be a great mom,” I say lightly, like it’s a light-hearted joke, but it makes her smile soften and her eyes water. I walk to my truck which is parked in front of her car on the side of the road.
“Thanks,” she says, but I read her lips more than hear the words, her voice is so soft. Her car beeps as she unlocks the door but she pauses, her hand on the handle as I open my door. “You remember Jake’s senior quote?”
“Never say good-bye because saying good-bye means going away and going away means forgetting,” I recite without even having to think about it.
“It’s fromPeter Pan,” Aspen reminds me. “Go to him,Tink.”
25
Terra
I texthim as soon as I walk in the door to my apartment. Well, actually while I’m resting on the stairs between the second and third floor. Exertion still knocks me on my ass. Doc says it’s all normal.
I’m not with Tom. You and I are not done, but we need to talk. Are you free?
Thunder booms above me as I send the text, and I don’t know if that’s the universe’s way of clapping for me or a warning signal. A couple minutes later, I find the energy to climb the rest of the stairs. Mostly because the rain started to fall in heavy, icy drops all around me. I unlock my front door and step inside, managing to avoid getting drenched as thunder claps again and lightning flashes through all my windows. I take off my coat and mitts and walk through the apartment to the living room. The French doors that lead to my balcony rattle with the wind, which is blowing the sheets of rain sideways.
That is fall in New England for you. One minute snow flurries, the next a hurricane-esque rain storm. As a therapist, sometimes I want to give Mother Nature meds. There’s a hard knock at my door which startles me as I stare out the window and contemplate starting the first fire of the season in my fireplace.
I walk to the door and stretch up on my toes to see through the peep hole. Jake. How did he get here so quickly? My heart starts to gallop as I unlock the door and open it.
“How’d you get here so fast?”
“What?” He looks confused. “I drove here as soon as my shift was over.”
“Have you read my message yet?”
“No. I’ll read it when I’m done telling you something. And if you don’t like what I have to say, you can blame Mr. Hobbs,” he says gruffly as the rain pours down around him.
It’s suddenly all so real. This thing with us, this moment right now is either the beginning or the end. I have no idea which it will be or what Mr. Hobbs has to do with it. Frozen in confusion, I stand in the doorway, wind and water whipping around us. “Mr. Hobbs? The seventy year-old sweetheart who eats chowder every Wednesday?”
Jake nods. “I just want to make it clear to you the reason I did it. The reason I came back, the reason I donated a kidney, it wasn’t for Logan or Finn. It wasn’t so your parents would accept me more or to solidify my spot as an extra in the Hawkins family saga,” Jake is soaking wet now. His onyx hair hangs into his eyes, dripping fat wet drops of water. He doesn’t seem to notice. “I did it because I knew if anything happened to you, I would become Mr. Hobbs.”
