“Why haven’t you returned my texts or calls?” he demands, and then continues before I can even respond. “We were being followed by a private investigator at the beach and at my house later. And I caught him and bought the images back, but he told me my ex knows about the hospital visit.”
“Whoa! Slow down!” I feel like I’m being verbally accosted. “Why would your ex do that?”
“She wants to change our custody agreement. She wants to move to New York to be with her boyfriend, and she wants to take Charlie with her,” he blurts out.
“Oh, my God, Griffin, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now,” he replies, his voice strained, just like his patience, apparently. I can’t blame him. It’s his daughter. I get it. But I can’t help but be a little upset he didn’t respond to me when I needed him, and he’s not even asking me about it now.
I also feel blindsided and a little crestfallen that he didn’t want to confide in me that he’s been going through a custody battle. I have been really honest with him about the trials and tribulations in my life, and he either felt like he had to hide his or, worse, that I wasn’t someone he wanted to confide in. “My brother is my lawyer, and he said that we’re going to need a sworn statement from you since you treated Charlie. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day to tell you this.”
“I got some horrible news about my dad today, which is why I was trying to reach you,” I reply. Every single emotion flowing through me is raw to the point of almost being physically painful. I feel like I’m made of tissue paper, and all day everything and everyone has dropped a pebble onto me. And now Griffin, the person who promised he would make me stronger, is dropping a piano on me, and I’m tearing apart everywhere.
“Oh, fuck,” he breathes, and his face falls. “I’m so sorry. I am such a dick.”
“No. You’re not.” There’s not an ounce of conviction behind my words. “You have every right to focus on your own issues.”
“No, I know but…” He is struggling to find the words to fix this because I can see by the clouded look in his gorgeous, dark eyes that he sees the rails coming off this new relationship as clearly as I do. “I should have realized. I mean I know you were going to talk to his doctor.”
“Yeah, but I understand,” I say, because I do. I ignored him completely today because my problems were too big. He has every right to forget about mine when his are big. And losing your child is big. “You did nothing wrong or illegal with that hospital visit. Neither did the hospital.”
“Sadie, talk to me about your dad,” he says, coming around his desk to get closer to me. I take a step back. I have to because I can’t open up to him. I’ll break down, and I don’t get to break down. I have to be the rock.
“No. Just tell me where I have to go to help you out,” I reply.
“Sadie, I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I know. You’re not a bad guy, Griffin,” I say. I can feel my bottom lip quiver and my eyes start to sting. “I think you’re probably the most incredible guy I’ve ever met. And there’s something between us I have never felt before, but let’s face it, I can’t do this right now.”
“What?” He looks as stricken as I feel.
“Give your brother my number. I will give a statement, I promise. I just can’t promise anything else. And let’s be honest, neither can you. It’s not your fault and it’s not mine, but I can’t anymore.” I start to walk toward the door.
I feel his hand wrap around my wrist, and I turn back to him, but I’m going to cry if I stay much longer, and I can’t. I won’t. Something inside me is starting to splinter. My strength? My sanity? Both? “Griffin, I have a lot to deal with right now. I thought I could handle this. That I had more to give because I would get something back, but…I don’t. And neither do you.”
“Don’t tell me what I have to give,” he growls back, frustrated by the truth.
“If, God forbid, your ex gets her way and Charlie moves to New York, what are you going to do?” I ask, and his mouth snaps shut, his jaw clenching. “You’re going to quit your job and move to New York. And you should.”
I gently pull my wrist back, and he lets it go, a sign of his surrender. I splinter even more inwardly. “I am about to break. If I give you my heart, if I let you in, I’ll lose that too, and I can’t handle losing anything else. I don’t think you can either.”
He is giving up. I can see it on his face. My eyes fill with tears despite the fact that it’s exactly what he needs to do. Still, he steps closer, grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. It’s desperate and passionate and painful. It’s goodbye.
I don’t let it drag on. I tear my mouth from his and leave, choking on a sob, refusing to let it out. Refusing to break…because no one is there to put me back together.
22
Griffin
Hunter’s assistant greets me with a sympathetic smile. “He said to go right in.”
“Thanks, Debra.” I don’t even try to smile back.
Hunter is behind his desk wearing a suit, which means he must have to go to court later. He gives me his trademark laid-back smile as I drop into one of the fancy armless leather chairs across from him. “You look rough, G.”
“Great,” I mutter, but I know he’s right. I threw on an old frayed T-shirt and jeans from the bottom of my closet because I haven’t done wash in a while. Plus I drank too much when I got home last night, hoping it would help me sleep, but it didn’t. I’m well aware I’m not top-notch this morning.
“I can have Deb make you a coffee. She makes a killer latte,” Hunter says. I give him a curt nod, so he calls out, “Deb, two of your magical lattes, stat!”
