“Or you shouldn’t have booked us separate rooms,” she counters.
“I had to.” The tension and that cold prickle start to develop again, despite the scotch in my system.
“If you think that’s what you have to do, then I have to do this,” she retorts and starts for the door.
I watch her walk all the way across the crowded bar. I watch her swing the front door open. I watch her step over the threshold and I watch the door start to swing closed behind her.
I should move. I want to move.
I can’t move.
Chapter 24
Brie
The wedding is truly beautiful and one of the most emotional ones I’ve ever been to. Rose was walked down the aisle by Jordan and Devin’s dad. Her sisters and Cole’s wife were her bridesmaids just as Cole, Jordan and Devin were the groomsmen. From the second I entered the church with Len until now at the reception, there is so much love in the room it’s palpable. As I eat my piece of delicious strawberry wedding cake with buttercream frosting I can’t help but look at Alex. He was assigned to my table, obviously, since Rose and Luc thought we were coming together, but Len quickly moved the name cards when we got here so she was sitting next to me and bumping Alex to the other side of Chooch.
He’s been silent all day, barely speaking a word to anyone and as I look at him now, I can’t figure out if he’s feeling the vibe of this wedding as much as I am—as everyone else is. I’ve spent all day feeling like I’m treading water with bricks tied to my ankles. I think we just broke up. I mean, it hurts like we did. And more than the pain I feel a whole lot of frustration and anger about what could have been.
Len did a good job of distracting me for most of the day before the late-afternoon ceremony. We went to brunch and got mani-pedis and did some shopping. This little town is cute. I imagine that growing up here without your parents was a little easier than growing up on the streets of Montreal alone, like Alex did. I have to keep reminding myself of that because otherwise I think about how even Callie, who everyone will quickly tell you was a card-carrying commitment-phobe, was able to let Devin in.
Len leans closer. “Do you want me to kick him out? The meal’s over. They’re going to start the dancing soon. I could tell him to go take his brooding ass to another table.”
I shake my head. “No. It’s fine.”
It isn’t, but I want Len to just go back to enjoying Chooch’s company because I haven’t seen her smile so bright in a long time and definitely never over a man. The music gets louder and Rose and Luc step onto the dance floor and begin to dance to “All of Me” by John Legend. Len sighs and puts a hand to her chest. “I know. It’s perfect,” I smile.
I feel his eyes on me so I look up. Alex doesn’t speak or move, just stares at me with those lost, stormy blue eyes. So I stare back, taking in every scar, every feature because after tonight I probably won’t see him again. I have to make a point of not seeing him again because it’ll be too hard if this really is the end. I finally pull my gaze from him and whisper, “God, how the hell does he not see we have something special and I’m worth letting in?”
“I have no idea,” Len whispers back. “But he’s going to regret it.”
Halfway through the dance, Cole, who is the MC, tells everyone to join in. Luc swings Rose and then lets her go. He walks over to his mom and brings her onto the dance floor and Rose starts dancing with Mr. Garrison. Chooch is looking hopefully at Len so I nudge her. She laughs. “Would you like to dance?”
He basically jumps out of his seat instead of saying yes, and I grin at them as they make their way onto the dance floor. Alex is looking at me again, I can feel it, but this time I refuse to look back. I have to move on. I have to…
Then suddenly there’s a hand, palm up, in front of me. I look up. “Please,” he begs.
I shouldn’t. But I do.
It feels good, dancing with him, being touched by him. I wish it didn’t. He pulls me closer, so that our bodies are grazing and his cheek is brushing against mine.
“I was born in Montreal. My parents were young and happy. We lived in a very small apartment on Saint Denis Street.” His voice is low and clear, but thick with emotion. “They both worked two jobs because it was the only way they could afford the place. I went to a daycare across town. I liked it there. The lady who ran it was nice. The other kids were fun. My parents only had one car, so they used to drive together to and from their jobs. They died in a car accident on their way to pick me up at daycare when I was five. I remember waiting and waiting and being upset that I was the only kid left. I remember the lady was annoyed until the police car showed up. I remember the officers took her into the kitchen and told me to stay in the play room. I heard her start to cry anyway, but I didn’t know why. And then they told me they were taking me for a ride and I was excited because they were going to let me go in the police car.”
I try to pull back a little so I can look at his face, but his arm around my waist gets tighter, holding me in place. He doesn’t want me to look at him. I give his shoulder a little squeeze to let him know it’s okay.
He takes a deep breath that I can feel quake through him, but he continues. “I don’t know where my father’s family was or if he had any. I don’t ever remember meeting them. We did the occasional Thanksgiving with my mom’s parents and her siblings. They lived somewhere up north. I remember it was always colder there and it took almost a day to get there. Anyway they came down and stayed at our house until the day after the funeral and then they left. But first they introduced me to a lady they said would take me to my new home. It was a social worker.”
I bite my lip to keep from gasping or swearing. What fucking monsters do not take in a little boy they’re related to? Oh my God. I close my eyes. The music has changed. Now an upbeat tune by Katy Perry is playing. We’re still standing on the edge of the dance floor, motionless now, like a statue of a couple mid-waltz. “Anyway I ended up in a few different foster homes, but none of them kept me. No one wanted to keep me.”
I feel hot tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to cry. He doesn’t want my tears. So I take a deep cleansing breath, and when I’m sure I’m in control and my voice will be steady I say, “Will you come with me? Right now?”
He lets me pull back so I can see him nod. Without another word I take his hand in mine and lead him out of the inn’s restaurant and back to my room. We take the stairs because I don’t want to wait for the elevator, which isn’t in the lobby when we walk toward it.
But when we get up there I realize I left my purse with my key card in it on the table. Shit. He must realize that because without a word he walks over to his own door, pulls out his key card and opens his door. He holds it open for me to enter. I turn to him as soon as we’re inside.
“You think I’ll leave you, like everyone else has,” I state. “That’s why you’re holding back.”
“It’s more than that.” He runs his hands through his hair.
