I’d thought I could be selfish and have her, have something good in my life, but I’d lost sight of who I was and the blood running through my veins. I was the son of a monster, and inside, I knew I was one too.
Her car edged down the drive, toward me. She slowly moved past, her eyes on me with an expression I couldn’t read as I watched her drive away.
She didn’t say a word.
She didn’t need to.
I got off my bike and headed inside. Viper didn’t try to stop me when I stormed to my room and slammed the door.
I laid down on my bed and grunted when I smelled her perfume on the pillows; the soft, delicate perfume that was so quintessentiallyher. Fuck.
Getting up, I stripped my sheets off the bed and laid back down, but I could still smell her. Had she permeated through the goddamn mattress too? How long until this passed? How long until I felt like the savage I was again?
A knock landed on my door, and I knew from the way the knuckles hit the wood that it was Viper. I didn’t respond, yet he opened the door anyway.
“You good?”
“What do you think?” I spat.
“You’re laying on a bed with no sheets and you won’t make eye contact so no, I don’t think you are. Want to talk about it?”
“Do I look like a fucking woman?”
Viper chuckled. “If you didn’t want her to go, why did you high tail it outta here and let her think you hated her?”
“I do hate her.”
“No you don’t, brother. Lying to yourself is only going to bury what’s left of your heart.”
“Fuck off and go get some pussy before you turn into one,” I said viciously, getting off the bed andmoving into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut, hoping to block him out.
“Once you’re done having a cry, come out and help me. I got some shit I need help with.”
I ignored his jibe and let the shower run, blocking out all other sound, so I could block the pain away. Watching her drive past without so much as a word killed me. Had I meant so fucking little after all these years?
Viper and I stood on the outer banks of the shed while Neal whined about the pain in his arms. He was hanging from chains from the roof, his wrists bloody from where he tried to get free of the metal cuffs. It felt good to hear the screams of agony as he was put through the ringer. Each one of us wanted to hurt this guy but ultimately, we knew this was Ace’s kill. He was giving us all a crack.
I hadn’t tried yet, I didn’t want to accidentally lose control and kill him early.
Then again, we could resuscitate him and do it all over again. I was a big fan of that form of torture, personally. Viper’s hand was bloody from where he’d punched him in the ribs over and over again, causing welts to pop and blister blood all over him.
He’d stopped pleading for mercy over the last few minutes, so that was better. His whiny voice did something to aggravate me and in my current mood, that wasn’t exactly a good thing.
“Think you should get in there,” Viper said. “You need to work out some anger.”
“I’ll kill him in my current mood, brother.”
“The world would be better for it.”
“This ain’t my kill,” I said. “The sound of torture is music to my ears though.”
Viper chuckled. “This isn’t what I pulled you from your misery for anyway. Think of it as a bonus to put you in a good mood.”
“This other shit gonna put me in a bad one?”
“Potentially,” he replied. “Best get that anger out now, brother.”
Ace looked toward me then, and motioned for me to have a crack. His face was pensive, taking inthe different forms of violence we all tended toward. Mine was erratic, scary at times. Even I lost myself in the senseless beatings and stabbings, but afterward it felt so goddamn good. If Bear hadn’t taken us in and treated us like brothers, we’d probably be serial killers.
