“You didn’t tell me you were coming back for good.”
It came out as more of an accusation than a statement, and I wondered why I was so bitter about it. I should have been rejoicing, and yet I felt like maybe I’d always be left out of decisions. I knew how it was with Dog, and I knew it had been the same in the club for years.
“A bit rich, don’t you think?” he finally replied. “Were you going to tell me you were leaving any time soon?”
I froze, unable to come up with anything I could say in response. “Maree told you.”
“Would you have, or would I have woken up one day and you were gone?” he asked. It was only then that he looked at me, and I saw the pain behind his eyes. I felt terrible, and my gut churned violently asI tried to come up with a way to explain, but there was no way to explain. I hadn’t even told Maree everything.
“I don’t know why you’re so upset,” I said in defense. “You knew I didn’t want to do anything, I don’t want to fall in love again. You knew that this was just fun.”
He pushed off the wall, dropping the cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his boot before he walked up to me. His eyes blazed with anger, and for the first time I felt fear.
“That’s why you wanted to know about me? Why I let you go through my personal things, so you could find out who I was? Tell me, was that why you can’t bear to be with me, or did you never really care?”
“Niall…”
“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
He stomped away from me, back to the clubhouse and for the first time in what felt like months, I felt like absolute shit.
I’d hurt him.
He was right. He had let me in, something he didn’t let anyone see, let alone know about him, and he’d done it telling me he wanted me in the long term. I had used him, never intending to let him into my life.
I was the bad guy here.
Moving back inside, I headed to his room. I needed him to know why I was leaving - to explain at least.
His door was locked. I knocked, but I knew he probably wouldn’t hear it over the party.
“When he’s like this, Shona, I wouldn’t try.”
Viper’s smile was long gone, and I could see that he was looking at me differently. He may not know what had happened but he could tell something went down, and he was protecting his friend.
I nodded and headed down to my room before I burst into tears and embarrassed myself further.
Realisation hit hard.
My time with the Ghost Rebels was up.
Once my door was closed, I locked it and let the tears fall down my cheeks. I told myself the tearswere for the club, but I knew…secretly, I knew they were for him.
Savage
Viper had pre-warned me that today was the day Shona was leaving the clubhouse. He’d tried to convince me to talk to her, that she could change her mind, but I didn’t want her to. I’d never been good enough for her.
I knew that now.
She was a fucking goddess, and I’d been stupid to think she could ever love a monster like me. Her car was still here when I got back from my ride. I’d spent two days on the road, hoping the ride would clear my head and heal what was cracking in my chest but when I saw her standing by her car, I realised I’d come back too soon.
I stayed on my bike, watching how effortlessly she said goodbye to everyone. She was part of this club, and she was leaving. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about the fact that maybe she was leaving because of me. I was a Ghost Rebel, and she knewwhen our tryst blew up that it would be awkward. I knew I shouldn’t have kept it up, but she was my own personal drug.
I couldn’t resist her.
I wanted her.
I was addicted to her.
