The thought brings on fresh tears, which silently stream down my face. I stare out the window and watch the mountains go by.
Am I torturing myself with the thought? Maybe I ought to stop. Or is it more like prodding at it like a sore tooth, preparing myself for the inevitable, so when I learn the truth, it doesn’t come as such a shock? I guess both things can be true at the same time.
We arrive back at the compound. Jack overtakes the truck, so he gets there first, and the gates open for him. He leads the way to his place, Roman following. Heads turn, bikers curious as to who the new arrival is, and I sink lower in the seat, not wanting to be noticed.
I climb out of the truck into the mid-afternoon sun, my head down, shoulders rounded. Jack steps off his bike and stalks to the truck to retrieve my bag.
“Stay safe, Camile,” Roman calls to me.
I can’t bring myself to smile at him. The best I can manage is a nod of acknowledgement.
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be among all these rowdy men and these sexually confident women. I’m the complete opposite of them. I feel like a little mouse, wanting to curl into a ball and hide, and I hate myself for it. I wish I was strong and fierce. I wish whoever killed my father and is now after my remaining family was frightened of me and what was coming for them. Instead, I’m helpless and insignificant, and it makes me wonder what’s the point in even being alive.
At least if I’d been able to return to the college, I’d have had my own belongings around me, and my own friends. That I feel completely alone, and stranded, untethered to either my life back at Verona Falls University or my life back in Mexico, only serves to make me feel even more insignificant.
Jack enters his house, climbs the stairs with my bag, and I follow close behind.
“You can have my room,” he says, leading me into his bedroom.
“What? No, I can’t stay in your room.”
“Yes, you can, and you will. I have a foldout couch in my office. That’ll do me perfectly fine.”
“I can’t take your bed, Jack.”
“Stop fucking arguing with me, Baby-girl. Do as I say.”
I don’t have the energy to fight with him anymore, and the thought of being curled up in his big bed and closing my eyes is too alluring to say no to. I’m completely exhausted, emotionally and physically. All I’m capable of doing right now is crying and sleeping and then most likely crying some more.
I kick off my shoes and jeans—not even caring that he’ll see me in my panties—and crawl beneath the covers.His pillow smells of him, and I bury my face in the soft material, wetting it with my tears.
His big hand lands on my head with surprising gentleness, and he strokes my hair.
“You’re safe,” he says, and I wonder if he’s saying it more for himself than me. “No one is going to hurt you here. You can sleep.”
The rhythmical stroking of my hair, his gentle, reassuring words, and the mental and emotional exhaustion of the day lulls me into sleep.
18
GHOST
Jack is backat the compound with Camile.
He’s filled me in on everything that’s happened, so now I’m on high alert. I’m pissed at myself for not having found the kid who shot at her yet, despite scouring the camera footage. It’s going to take a long time to get through it all, though. Now we know what happened in Mexico—or at least a part of it—it’s clear this was a coordinated attack.
I suspect Ledger will have retreated to come up with another plan.
A tiny smile tweaks my lips. Camile may be small, but she still gave Ledger a run for his money.
The smile falls away again as I realize things could have been very different. He’d only gotten rough with her when she’d thwarted his advances, but what would have happened if she’d willingly had sex with him? Would he have waited until she was in a post-orgasm doze—assuming he was capable of giving her an orgasm—and then shot her? He’dclearly wanted to fuck her before he killed her. God, what if he’d strangled her while he fucked her? The thought of it makes my blood run cold. I wonder if whoever is above him had given him the instruction to fuck her first.
Good for Camile for seeing through his bullshit.
I come across Rook working on a bike. He’s wearing a vest and has grease marks across his skin. I wonder if he knows Camile is back. Does Ace know, too?
That smile is back. I shouldn’t be fucking with them, considering it’s my role in the club to keep everyone under control, but I can’t help myself.
“Hey, I see your girlfriend is back at the compound.”
