Our food came then, quieting the conversation while we sat and ate in silence.
“Can I have your pickle?” Jill asked Shawn. I sucked in my lips, holding back another laugh. Jill noticed, though. “What?”
“Asking Shawn to give up his pickle is like asking if he’ll give up one of his limbs.” I laughed. “He is way too obsessed with pickles, and everything pickle flavored.”
Shawn laughed along, taking a bite of the pickle in question. “Sorry, babe. Serenity is right, pickles are my first love.”
“I didn’t realize you were so passionate about pickles.” Shawn and I both laughed again. Her eyes roamed between the two of us, but she went back to eating without saying another word.
We continued eating and made small talk about classes starting soon. Jill had completely shut down. Shawn and I kept talking, though. We actively tried to include her, but she was short with us. We were saved by the waiter bringing our check. We all paid and left the restaurant.
“I’m staying at Jill’s tonight,” Shawn said.
“Okay, that’s fine.”
“Obviously.” I heard Jill say under her breath, low enough so Shawn wouldn’t hear. He hugged me goodbye, and over his shoulder, her glare could kill.
“Nice meeting you,” I said with a short wave. I had a feeling everything was about to drastically change.
Shawn returned to our apartment late the next afternoon. “What’s with the long face?” I asked as he plopped himself on his bed with a big sigh.
“You rearranged the room,” he noticed. I couldn’t sleep a wink last night at the thought of Shawn sleeping with another woman, and even more so about losing my best friend. I’m sure Jill wouldn’t be happy about me crawling into sleep with him each night I had a nightmare, and he wouldn’t be welcome into my bed for his needs any longer.
“It was time, don’t you think?”
“I guess so,” he said, sitting up suddenly, a sad expression lingering.
“What’s going on? We’re still friends; you can always talk to me.” I walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him.
“I think I’m going to start staying at Jill’s more,” he said, clasping his hands together in his lap.
“I mean, I figured you’d want to spend more time with her, but why do you seem so sad about it?” My heart sank as I awaited the words I knew were coming.
“Jill and I both think you and I need some space while I’m entering this new relationship.”
I stood up from his bed. “Space, meaning what? We live together.”
“You were right, okay? She wants me to choose. She doesn’t think we can continue our relationship with how close you and I are. And I like her a lot, okay?”
I held back the tears threatening their escape. “So, where does that leave us then? Do you want me to move out, or are you moving out? Can we seriously not even be friends? We’ve been friends for six years, and you met her barely weeks ago.” I rambled as I paced our room.
“I don’t want to give up the apartment in case things don’t work out with her, so maybe you could move out. I mean,you said yesterday how you haven’t made many friends here, so maybe you should move back home,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
My mouth gaped open with a gasp. “How could you even suggest that?” He didn’t know the extent of the abuse I endured from Andrés, but he knew enough.
He stood there facing me. “I don’t know, okay? You expect too much from me, and I can’t be that person for you. You have a lot of mental health issues you need to work through, and I can’t be there for you anymore.”
I stood there, stunned. His words caused a stabbing pain in my chest. I held back a sob, defeated. “Understood. I’ll figure something out.” I walked toward the door, wanting to get as far away from him as I could.
“Serenity, wait.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away from his touch. “Seriously, I wouldn’t hurt you. You know that.” But did I really? Because the person I thought he was would never say those words to me.
I said nothing in response. I silently walked out of our room and out of our apartment to get a breath of fresh air and some sun to snap me out of the betrayal I felt from Shawn.
“Serenity?” someone called behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see Emma.
“Emma, what are you doing here?” I brought her in for a hug. “I thought you were going to the university back home?”
Emma and I lost touch after high school when we went to different universities. “I did, but I needed a smaller college experience…and away from my folks.”
