Andrés hadn’t touched me again recently, so I didn’t want to make a big deal out of something that would be over in three months when we graduate. I’d walk on eggshells and keep my head down. Hopefully, he’d leave me alone, or at the very least, it wouldn’t escalate.
“I know.” I bumped into him with my hip. “Now, what snack do you want for the movie?”
“Do I even have to ask?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll pop the popcorn; you grab the pickles.” His obsession with everything pickle flavored was slightly concerning. “I hope your college roommate understands your pickle addiction.”
“Oh, they will,” he started, “because I want you to be my college roommate.”
My mouth flew open with a gasp. How could he possibly want us to live together? We weren’t in a relationship. Did hewant someone he could rely on for sex? How would we even date other people at that point? Would I continue waiting for him to commit while we’re in college, too?
“What are you talking about?” I finally asked, a million thoughts raced through my head as to why it would be a horrible idea.
Shawn anxiously ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought, maybe…” He trailed off.
“You thought, what?” I asked seriously.
“That my girlfriend would want to live with me if we’re going to the same college.” I blinked several times. I must have misheard him.Did he say girlfriend?
“Was that you asking if I’d be your girlfriend? Because it sucked if that’s what you were trying to do.” I held my breath. I’ve wanted Shawn since the day I met him. Did he seriously want to be in a relationship now?
“I know,” he said. “I had a whole plan, but you brought up the roommate situation, and I thought since we were applying to housing soon, we could instead live off campus in an apartment together. I know that means we won’t have the full college experience, but I want us to be together in college. Don’t you?”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” I couldn’t believe after all this time, we were going to finally be together. I was still in shock and needed him to say the words.
He put both my hands in his and gazed into my eyes. “I’m serious, Serenity. What do you say? Will you give a guy like me—who took way too long to figure out what he wants—a chance?”
I leapt into his arms and kissed him passionately. “I thought you’d never ask.” We kissed until we heard the door to my mom’s room open. I quickly moved away from Shawn, and he looked taken aback, hurt even.
Andrés came out and walked toward the front door. “Congrats, you two,” he said, slamming the front door behindhim. My anxiety skyrocketed, the fear overwhelming. Would being in a relationship with Shawn cause more unbearable trauma? Would Andrés use Shawn against me like he did with my mom?
Shawn shifted his body to face me. “What’s his deal?”
I paused with hesitation. I couldn’t be honest. “I think he wants me to be unhappy for telling you and my mom about what he did when I was twelve.”
“You’d tell me if anything happens again, right?” His expression pleading.
I nodded my head. “I will. But now, we’re alone again.” I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. He soon gathered me in his arms and carried me up the stairs back to my room, abandoning the popcorn and pickles.
He hovered over me on my bed. “Do you think we can keep our relationship to ourselves for a while? I don't want drama with our friend group.”
I wished my feelings were more important to him than our friends.“Sure,” I said instead, forcing a smile. I didn’t want to upset him.
I had three months until graduation, and I’d be moving two months later. Andrés stopped visiting me while I slept when I turned sixteen, but I'd forever feel uncomfortable in his presence. He took so much from me, but he couldn't break my drive to build a healthy and happy life. He might have taken my childhood, but he wouldn't be welcome to my adulthood.
THIRTY-THREE
AGE 24
Ifinally graduated from college. After Gram passed, I considered dropping out to work, but I remembered how proud Gram was of me and how she would have wanted to see me succeed. I took a year off to be more available to Luna during her transition and to settle what was needed to ensure I could be her legal guardian. Fortunately, Gram had made sure we had everything necessary to make it smooth, but we still faced many hiccups along the way. Once we were settled, I completed the rest of my courses online.
Avery officially moved in after Gram passed. She did her two years at the community college, but found a teaching degree online, completing her student teaching at the preschool where she worked. Life after Gram was dark for all of us.
I tried to ignore the pain, stay busy, pretend all was normal. Luna’s life had been flipped upside down, though. She didn’t have the person who had been her constant companion her entire life. Although she was ten when Gram died, she had aperiod of regression where she threw fits, couldn't sleep through the night, and needed assistance with tasks she had previously mastered.
Unfortunately, her previous therapist moved, so we’d be meeting her potential new one today. She still had emotional outbursts from time to time but had made great strides this year. We followed a strict schedule and input all important dates onto a shared calendar, both on our phones and hanging in the kitchen to keep her on a routine.
“Lu, let’s go!” I yelled through the house. Her one constant difficulty was getting out of bed in the morning. We set her up with two alarms plus her phone, and we still had to prompt her out of bed.
