“Don’t let them fool you. They may seem tough on the outside, but internally, they are waging the same war of pain we are. They are going to need you, Elia. You represent the last bit of goodness in their world, and without that reminder, I’m afraid their bloodlust will blind them.”
And she isn’t wrong. All Gabri and Nikki care about is revenge. They’re insatiable, and I’ve never seen Papa in such a way either. He walks around the house, face streaked red from tears, commanding our men with a brutality I’ve never seen before. He’s ill with everyone. Even Nonna hasn’t escaped his hostility, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her cower to her son. She’s been helping as much as she can as well, stepping back into the role as the lady of the house in Mama’s absence.
“Don’t be too hard on yourmama. There is no mourning like that of a mother losing her child. I know firsthand. I lost a son of my own. Your Uncle Franco wasn’t much older than Leo when he was killed. Your father had to step into his role as the heir of the Santori family while grieving his brother. Luckily, he already had Guilia by his side, or I don’t think he would’ve made it.”
Leo was the life of our house. He was the final piece of our family unit, and without him, we’re lost. My life has ceased to exist as I know it, yet the world carries on. The days continue to fly by, and somehow, a week has passed since his death.
The dimly lit house is especially quiet as I sulk to the kitchen in search of my morning coffee. It’s hours later than I would normally be starting my day, and the halls that would once have been filled with laughter and music are now abandoned. The only sound is the television coming from an empty den.
“The Rising Tide will be starting the final series of the playoffs here in Thunder—”
Fuck, the playoffs starttoday? I forgot hockey existed the moment the beeping stopped in the hospital. Abandoning my pursuit of coffee, I turn and head toward Gabri’s office instead. I want to check in with them because, in the midst of everything going on right now, there’s no way my brothers are in the right headspace to play today. I’ve barely knocked on the door when Nikki yells for me to come in.
“How did you know it was me?”
“I know your knock. You okay?”
Gabri turns his computer screen back from where it was facing Nikki and sits up a bit straighter. “What do you need, Elia?”
It’s obvious he doesn’t want me in here right now, but I’ve never minded his moodiness. I kiss Nikki on the cheek, then sink into the chair beside him, opposite our brother. “I just wanted to check in on how you two were feeling before the game tonight. I know it’s been—”
“We aren’t playing,” Gabri says with finality, turning back to his computer.
“Wait…what? You aren’t playing in theplayoffs?”
“Is that really so shocking to you? Our brother was murdered one week ago. How could you—”
“Don’t be an asshole right now.” Nikki cuts him off and takes my hand. “We talked about it and decided it would be best for the family if we sat this series out and focused our efforts elsewhere.”
I’m trying to justify this, just like I’ve tried to be the strong one for everyone all week, but I can’t.
“But your team is counting on you.”
“Ourfamilyis counting on us. I couldn’t care less about those guys.”
“Are youserious? You’re theircaptains!”
Gabri slams a fist on his desk, startling me. “And I would trade every single one of them to have Leo back. I would have thought you would too, but it seems like you care more about random guys you don’t evenknowthan your own brother.”
White-hot rage fills my body at his accusation. As if either his or Nikki’s relationship with Leo ever held a candle to my own. They were off doing whatever big bad Mafia things they had to do or being their hockey-hotshot selves. They always left Leo and me out. Because of our age gaps, we were basically two separate sets of siblings. It wasn’t until Leo got into college and Papa started including him in the family business that they made a point to spend time with him.
“Howdareyou—”
Nikki steps in again, trying to ease some of the tension. “This is a lot for all of us. Gabri and I wouldn’t be good for the team right now, even if we tried. It’s better for them if we aren’t there, trust me.”
Teddy.
I haven’t thought much aboutanythingin the past week, even the man who would normally occupy my every thought. All that time, we kept things hidden because it was best for the team. He wanted to tell my brothers about us but agreed not to, so the guys, including my brothers, could have a chance at their dream. How could my brothers care so little about their team that they wouldn’t even show up? I know things are hard right now, but…
My feelings explode in waves, and I know that I can’t keep them hidden any longer. I’ve been suffering for months, wanting nothing more than to be with my Teddy, and forwhat? If they don’t care about the playoffs, then what’s the point?
“I have to tell you both something. There’s this guy and—”
Gabri sighs. “This really isn’t a good time—”
“It willneverbe a good time,” I yell, tears streaming down my face. My outburst finally stuns my brother into silence, and for the first time in my entire life, I have both his and Nikki’s full attention. “It will never be a good time, but if Leo’s death has taught us anything, it’s that life is too fucking short! I’m in love with your goalie, okay? I know about your stupid rule, but I don’tcare anymore! We’re great together! I promise neither of us knew about the other when we met. He wasn’t going behind your backs, and neither was I. And we did try to part ways when we found out, but we just…we couldn’t stand it. I love him, okay?”
Whatever reaction I thought I’d get, it most definitely isn’t them just staring at me speechless. I know Gabri is a man of few words, but I expectedsomethingfrom Nikki. Minutespass in silence before Nikki finally speaks up.
