“Dude, I have a girl here!”
A chorus of “Ooooo” comes loud and clear through the speaker, and I’m sick to my stomach as I hear what I’m almost positive is Gabri grunt in the background.
Teddy gives me a shy shrug and goes to the door to open it for the mariachi band, and I barely catch a glimpse of dark hair before I’m skittering into the hall bathroom.
“We decided to come too!” Nikki’s voice counts off the mariachi band, who launch into a song, joined by what sounds like at least ten out-of-tune hockey players.Shit, I hope I didn’t leave anything identifiable lying around.
Sitting against the tub, I feel so damn stupid.Of coursethe giant muscle man doesn’t work in tech. What exactly did he say his job was…oh, fuck me.Net security? Gotta hand it to him, that’s a good one. I know all the guys on the team, though. Except Williams, the new goalie.TheodoreWilliams. Wow, Ellie. Observation skills, my ass.
Hottest guy I’ve ever seen, best sex I’ve ever had, and he’s completely off-limits.Fuck my fucking life.It hits me all at once that I had really let myself start to think this could go somewhere, and now, I’m right back at square one. Alone.Worsethan square one, actually, because now I know Teddy exists and I can’t have him. I’ll have to go to hockey games and watch as girlfriends and other women come and go. Eventually, he’ll marry one of them and coo over her when she’s carrying his child.Fuck.I bet he’ll be so protective when she’s pregnant, and he’ll be the best dad…
There’s a quiet knock on the door, and I realize the chaos of the mariachi band has been gone for a little while. “Ellie? Can I come in? Or get you anything?”
Stupid, sweet, perfect Teddy.
“You can come in.” My voice is small and defeated, and I hate it, but I can’t pretend to be okay right now. When he pokes his head in the crack of the door and sees tears streaming down my face, he moves quickly, kneeling in front of me and reaching for my hands before stopping himself.
“Can I touch you?”
“What? Of course you can touch me.”
He takes my hands, kissing my knuckles before maneuvering to fold himself in front of me and sit as close as he can. It’s not a big space, and he looks like a moose trying to cram itself into a phone booth, but I appreciate the effort.
“I wanted to make sure you weren’t upset or regretting what happened last night. And this morning. And this morning, again,” he says with a soft smile, worry still evident in his eyes.
“No!” He flinches, and I realize I just yelled in his face.Damn, that was louder than I meant it to be.“No,” I say softly, laughing at the absurdity of the situation and rolling my eyes upward for inspiration on how to say this.
“Okay, good to know my skills haven’t completely fallen off.” I appreciate his attempts to joke, but it just reminds me more of the guy I’m about to have to hurt. Maybe it’s better to just rip the bandage off.
“Those were my brothers.”
“The mariachi band? I thought you were Italian—”
“Gabri and Nikki Santori. They’re my older brothers.”
He drops my hand like it’s burned him, and I know he understands the gravity of what I’m saying. I’m sure he heard the “stay away from my little sister or I’ll kill you” speech, and he’s been around long enough now to have heard stories that make the threat seem less idle.
“How…how?”
“Well, my mom and dad—”
“No, I mean, fuck. How did we miss this?”
“Well, you lied about your profession, for one thing.”
He has the decency to look sheepish. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just hard to trust someone’s intentions in the beginning. I guess you know better than most, from hearing from your brothers, the kind of people that professional athletes can sometimes attract.”
Sighing, I reach back for one of his hands and play with the fine hairs on his knuckles, just for something to do. “I know. I don’t blame you for that. And I even saw you at games, but you always had your helmet on, and they announced you as Theodore. Plus, we never exchanged last names, I guess still protecting ourselves. I don’t necessarily tell people who I am immediately, either. Both because of my brothers and my family’s wealth. A lot of information can be found when you search the right places for it.”
With a wince, he sits back heavily against the door to face me, trying to fold his long legs into the small space without success. Finally, I move so he can stretch out and sit sideways in his lap. I can’t help but nuzzle into his warm chest as he holds me and gives me a gentle kiss on the top of the head.
“I’m so sorry, but I can’t—”
“This sucks, but I—”
We interrupt each other, then stop, understanding passing between us without having to spell it out. He’d never risk my brothers’ wrath or want to disrespect them and ruin his tenuous camaraderie with his new team. And I’d also never go against their explicit wishes to leave hockey alone as a safe space for them to be boys again, and not Mafia heirs.
With nothing left to say, we sit in the hall bathroom until my butt goes numb, enjoying the comfort of each other’s arms. Finally, my stomach growls again, Danish long gone. Even with the nauseating reality of my blossoming relationship wilting, I still need to eat.
