She was saving that for Valens.
They did exactly as they said, putting me in the shower, finding me clean clothes, and having food brought over while I washed.
By the time I was clean, dry, and dressed, there was a small feast on the kitchen table we’d barely even seen during my heat.
My stomach felt so empty, it was nearly hollow, so I sat down and filled a plate, even though I was just going through the motions. To the ladies’ credit, they watched me eat half of it before the questioning began.
“What happened? All he told us was that you needed us, so we came. But we didn’t expect…” Olivia trailed off, squinching her lovely face into a picture of concern.
“We didn’t expect to find you sobbing on the floor,” Fiona finished, ire still hot in her words.
I shook my head, a lump rising in my throat that made it difficult to swallow the last forkful of food I’d scooped up. Tears flooded my eyes again, and I angrily squeezed them shut to prevent them from falling.
Damn it, the heat was well and truly over. It had been endless hours of bliss and happiness. How did it go sourso fast?
A trickle of water hit the top of my head, and Fiona swore, shoving back from the table. “I’m going to have to take a lap. Maybe I should go askhimwhat the fuck he did. I could get Reed, and we could find out what he did to her?—”
“No, don’t. Please, don’t involve anyone else. It’s already embarrassing enough. He didn’t… he was absolutely wonderful, right up until the very end.”
That seemed to take all the wind out of Fiona’s sails, and she slumped back into her seat, reaching across the table to grab my hand. “It’s okay, babe. I don’t give two shits how ugly it is, you can tell us. We’re ride or die here, no matter what. You tell me to off him, I’ll get the lightninganda shovel. No questions asked.”
I sniffled through a laugh, even though it shouldn’t have been funny how serious she was. I could actually see her frying Valens with lightning without losing a wink of sleep or breaking a sweat.
My friends were so badass.
I exhaled, knowing I needed to just rip off the Band-Aid. It wouldn’t get easier for the waiting.
“He was wonderful, right up until the moment I lost it because I got my mate marks.”
There was a heavy beat of silence.
“Oh, sweetie.” Oli was back out of her chair, arms around me in a big hug. “I want to say congratulations, but that must have been hard too, huh?” She rubbed my back as if I were a child, and for a single moment, I just absorbed that feeling.
No judgment. No anger. Just… acceptance. Comfort.
“Yeah, it was hard. But it shouldn’t have been. I knew, deep down. I knew before the heat started. I knew when I asked him to spend it with me what the likely outcome was… and I thought I was ready.” My voice cracked, and I turned away, ashamed at yet another breakdown.
This was not who I was.
Or, at least, it hadn’t been before. Who the hell knew who I’d be now?
“I’m not a maiden anymore.” I said it out loud for the first time, and it felt as if an elephant had stepped off my rib cage. I drew my first deep breath since I’d seen my beautiful marks.
“No, you’re not. You’re pack. Just like you always have been,” Fiona said, her eyes blazing fiercely. “You’reours.”
“For someone who’s not a wolf, you really do get it,” I murmured, appreciating the vicious way she loved. For all Olivia’s softness, Fiona was her polar opposite. Fierce and wild and loyal like no one else I’d ever known.
“Damn straight. I learned from the best. And if Valens has a problem with that…” Fiona trailed off, studying me. “Why would he have a problem with that? Shouldn’t that be exactly what the fool wants?”
“Yeah, yeah, it is. I think I hurt him, though. With how I reacted. I don’t know what he thought, but… I think he thought I didn’t wanthim.”
Olivia sat back down but didn’t let go of my hand. She was a touchy-feely one, but I didn’t mind it. Kind of liked it, actually. “Is he right? The marks might mean you’re no longer a maiden, but theydon’tmean you have to bond with him. If you have irreconcilable differences, you willalwayshave a place with the pack. And while I’d selfishly love to have you stay with us in Hungary, I know Brielle would extend you the same offer. If it’s between you and Valens, though, know that I choose you.”
A tear escaped, skidding down my cheek with reckless abandon.
“I could never ask him to leave his home or his sister. And I don’t want to, not really. But I also don’t know what to do. Heleft. I didn’t want him to leave.” I wrapped both arms aroundmyself, feeling more broken by the simple truth than I expected to be.
There was a hole in my chest in the shape of Valens, where I used to be able to feel the warmth of his love. And now?
